Holy shit this hasn't been updated
Ok, so from my last post, Bob and i were back together for a month.. THATS RIGHT! A month. Then he broke up with me again, saying that nothing has really changed, which i didn't change cause he didn't LET it change. So yeah. We broke up then, and we haven't gotten back together. And i've cried myself to sleep for a good week, then cried whenever i was alone, then finally just decided not to care and to get back out in the world. So i met Alex. Which is Kirk's friend, and is also the same guy that a year ago (BEFORE Bob and i started to go out) that i had a crush on. A BIG crush on. And i was (i think at least) to shy to really take anything anywhere. So Alex and i have been hanging out for the past few days, he is not only VERY cute, but also charming and smart and fun to be around! =0) But now, Bob is talking to me about how unhappy he is that he broke it off. And how he wish he'd have tried harder, and he misses me and everything else. I'm TOTALLY willing to talk with him, i want him to get every question and everything else he wants to work out worked out. I just.. i don't want to tell him that i don't want to go back out with him again. Mainly cause i think he REALLY needs to figure out what the hell he wants. I don't think he knows, or even has a clue! I know, that if i DO get back with him.. i'll over time end up feeling like what i felt before, and that is how i TRULY DEEPLY loved him! And i knew in my heart that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him!!! And i can honestly say, that i don't know if he'll feel the same way. Because he dosn't know what he wants. =0( God.. i know what i need to do, i just don't want to, and i'm kinda avoding it. I'm talking to Bob online right now, and i think that he wants to ask if we could go back out, but he's afraid to, cause he thinks i'll say no. Arg. Why dose love have to be so fucking complicated? Oh yeah, thats right. Cause love SUCKS! Grrrrr..