Fic. Negation Of Innocence (5/5)
Chapter Five
Rose shivered, both from the chill she was feeling as the droplets of water slipped down her neck from her damp hair, and from the tone of the Doctor’s voice. Whatever this was about, (and she had a fair idea of what that was), it was serious. Really serious. She pulled the towel tighter, and leaned her head back a little, so she could see his face. The twinkling, lust-filled gaze of earlier had disappeared, and in its place was a look she knew well. It was the ‘This-is-for-your-own-good-Rose’ look that he gave her when he unilaterally decided what was best for her, without bothering to consult her on the matter.
Only, this time, this time she would make her own decisions, and to hell with what he thought. It was time to make a stand for what she believed in...and what she believed in was them. Together. A couple. A pair. Partners. Not ‘just best friends’ anymore. She opened her mouth to speak, only to find a finger placed gently across her lips.
“I know. Just hear me out first. Okay?”
Rose nodded. She would let him have his say, then she would convince him he was wrong.
The Doctor took a deep breath to calm himself. If this went wrong, he’d regret it for his remaining lives.
“Before. When I was short hair and big ears, but before I knew you, I was hell-bent on self-destruction; any way that I could achieve that was okay by me. I wasn’t meant to survive the war, Rose, I was meant to die when they did. I don’t know why I survived, but I suspect the Tardis had something to do with it.” His voice faltered, as he remembered the burning of his whole world, his whole race; the smell, the noise, the agony of regeneration, as a soothing caress in his mind slowly eased the pain of his memories to a bearable level. He cast a grateful glance at the ceiling, mentally thanking his wonderful home for her care and her love.
He looked back down at the golden head against his chest, a small smile gracing his features.
“Wasn’t me who found you, Rose. The Tardis did. She took me to Earth to save you from the Autons. She did that. She knew I needed someone. Someone to bring me out of the darkness, and lead me back into the light. And you did. You saved me, Rose Tyler; saved me from a hell of my own making, made it easier to continue, to carry on living. And I fell in love with you then, as you tried to rationalise the events when we were in that lift. Students, you said, and I knew then you were amazing. You’ve proved that again and again, time after time, and I never tell you enough how brilliant you are. But you are brilliant, and compassionate, and caring, and beautiful. So, so beautiful. I live to make you smile, to make you happy. And if this...between us...makes you happy, then that’s the way it will stay. It changes everything, and nothing at all. And this isn’t the chemicals talking, just in case you think it is...I have a little confession to make...”
As Rose sniffed back her tears at his declaration, she looked puzzled at his last statement. Gazing up at his face, she wondered if she should be worried. She saw trepidation there, but no fear, and she relaxed, raising her hand to caress his cheek tenderly, smiling as he turned his face into her touch and pressed gently against her palm.
Encouraged by her actions, and by the love shining from her eyes, he thought how much he loved this wonderful little human, then once and for all pushed away the demons that had haunted him for so long. They may not have much time, comparing his life-span to hers, but there was no-one left to censure him for his actions, his feelings regarding this human woman, so he took a leap of faith. He fell.
“The chemical dissipated as we came into the shower room, Rose. The water in the air here drew it out of me...everything that has happened in here, everything that has been said - that’s all me. Everything I said, everything I did...I meant it with both my hearts. They’re both yours...if you want them.”
As her lips slammed into his, he could hear one word echoing through his mind. Always.
His hand cradled her face as he gentled the kiss and pulled back, resting his forehead against hers.
“I’ll take that as a yes, then shall I?” he said, smiling softly, his thumb tracing her cheekbone.
“Forever, Doctor. I want them for forever. My forever.” She drew back slightly, hesitantly, as if she was afraid of what he might say to that demand. She knew he would go on after her, and that was something she would tackle later, but for now, she had to know that he was hers.
“Oh Rose. That, that’s a given. Never in doubt. But it’s not just for your forever. It’ll be for mine, too. Once I give my hearts away, I don’t take them back. For me, forever really means forever. For the rest of Time. I’m yours. Completely. Irrevocably.” His breath ghosted over her lips as he leaned closer and closer.
“And you? You. Are. Mine.” he whispered fervently.
Rose sighed at the blatant possession in his tone, and gave herself over to the mastery of his kiss; his lips and tongue branding her, claiming her, body and soul. His arms pulled her into his lap without breaking the kiss, and her hands found their way into his damp hair, pulling him so close even air could not sit between them. As his tongue traced each tooth, each little nook and cranny of her mouth, her hands were mapping his scalp, nails scratching gently, making him shudder against her. She could not place the sound he was making in the depths of his throat, but knew she wanted to hear it always.
He pulled back and broke the kiss, his lips clinging slightly to hers as they separated. He was panting slightly, the emotion of the moment catching his breath as he looked at the dazed young woman in his arms.
“That okay with you? Rose?” He worried for a split second he had gone too far, then saw the bright grin appear, the grin with her tongue between her teeth - the one that never failed to get a response from certain parts of his anatomy - and he giggled. Actually giggled. Him. A Time Lord. Highest authority in the universe...and bollocks to that, he thought. At this moment, all he was, was hers.
Setting her to stand, he bounded up like the excitable puppy he sometimes resembled, held out his hand and grinned hugely, wiggling his fingers.
“Come with me?”
“As long as you’re inside me, I will.” Rose said cheekily, her eyes sparkling as she laughed. Her heart stuttered in her chest as he let loose the most carefree laugh she had ever heard, before sweeping her into a crushing hug, kissing the top of her head with a smacking sound, twirling her out of his arms, grabbing her hand and pelting at a full run for the bedroom. He stopped suddenly about a foot from the bed, brought the arm holding her hand around to his front, knocking her off balance, then shoved her so that her back bounced against the mattress, making her giggle breathlessly.
He loomed over her, his face suddenly intent, his gaze smouldering as he grasped the towel tucked around her and with the flick of his wrist, bared her completely to his eyes. She stopped giggling. He was memorising her, she thought, as his eyes caressed every curve on display, travelling from her eyes, down her nose, across her lips, her neck, her chest, her stomach, thighs, ankles and feet, then back again. It felt as if he was touching her, her flesh sensing a featherlight graze, as if a velvety flower petal was tracing it’s way across her skin. She must have looked astonished, because he smirked and said,
“Little Time Lord trick. Thought you might be able to feel it. Since you’ve been in my head, our thoughts and feelings are attuned to each others; I can feel you and you can feel me. Without touching. “ He grinned at her wickedly, his eyebrows waggling at her, making her grin back at him, while her mind explored the possibilities of that statement. The sudden gasp that came from him at her thoughts made her chuckle, before her breath was stolen by a long lean naked figure sliding up her body, slithering his way across her skin, his tongue flicking out to taste her as he moved. By the time his mouth reached hers, she was trembling with arousal, both hers and his.
The combination was intoxicating; increasing both their arousals, each feeding from the other, whilst hands and lips and thoughts explored, caressed, enticed, bodies and minds becoming one entity; neither Rose nor the Doctor, but one being encased in a shell made of the whole of Time and space; something almost sacred. As he slid deeply into her hot wet body and moved languidly in and out, making her moan, he finally felt he had found a home, a home he could cherish, could love. As she moved under him, bucking up to meet his thrusts, he knew he would die for her again...in ecstasy.
He watched as she flung her head back, eyes closed, the strain of holding back showing on her face, he reached up with one hand, placed his cool hand against her damp cheek, and softly called her name.
“Rose.”
As she opened her eyes and looked at him, looked deep into his eyes, he thrust harder, short sharp thrusts that had him grunting, then he watched her shatter around him, the contractions around him inside her throwing him headlong into the most intense orgasm of his lives, seeing the universe fly past his eyes as he shuddered. He collapsed bonelessly on top of her again, but this time she didn’t panic, just held him and stroked his back until she felt his chest rise against hers. As he raised his head, his hand stroked her sweat drenched hair from her face, and with his thumb collected the tears that sparkled on her lashes.
“I love you Doctor” she whispered hoarsely.
“Quite right too.”
He grunted as she thumped him gently.
“Oi!”
“Oh. Okay. I suppose...I suppose I love you too, Rose Tyler,” he grinned.
As he gathered her into his arms and settled the sheet about them, watching her drift slowly into her dreams, he was glad they had taken this step; glad, in a way that the pollen had affected him like that. It had taken the decision out of both their hands, and left it to fate...and at that point in his thoughts, he brushed his lips across the tousled head of the human woman sleeping in his arms as a noise suspiciously like a chuckle resonated through his skull. Looking at the ceiling, he smiled, then closed his own eyes.
She really was a meddling old Tardis...but she usually got her own way in the end.
And at that particular moment, as he slid into a peaceful sleep, he was thankful that she did.