Need To Have A Rant.
I'm sick of my father, seriously I am. Today he's lost his damn dentures again, said that mum had put them somewhere, asked me where that was, like I'm supposed to know where my mother puts things. Turns out that they were sat in the bathroom still in their pot. So I took them in and then told him that in future it didn't take much to get out of bed and check where they are himself. But no of course not, he can't do that cos he's not well. Well tough. This whole damn family makes to much out of the illnesses they have. My half-sister is the best one for that. So anyways Dad gets all arsey, tells me not to yell at him and I tell him that I can do what I like.
And you know what I can. I'm an adult now, I don't need tell off if I swear, or if I have an opinion, like the one about him needind to take resposibiltly for his things. I've got enough to think about without him putting more on me. I'm 20 years old and I quite honestly have no idea what I want to do with my life. I've got options, not all of them great but some of them are amazing, I'm going to audition for I'd Do Anything on Friday, I'm gonna try my hardest to get somewhere with it, even if it's just to the workshop so I can work out if Musical Theatre is right for me. I would just like for once for my dad to accept me for the person I am. Not try and change me into the person he wants me to be. It's so annoying. Just cos he messed up with my of my half-siblings doesn't mean he has to try and make me the perfect one. He's so controlling when it comes to what I can and can't do, he needs to look at himself and want he needs to change about himself before he starts putting the blame on me.
I just feel like crap for various reasons at the moment. One of those is coming down from the fangirling high of Sunday. Went to see the last performance of Aladdin with John Barrowman in it and it was awesome, so pumped up about that so coming back down quite literally hurts. One day I'll learn that these events are like an addiction and coming down from a high is a bad thing. One day, hopefully not soon though!
You know the one thing that I love about the way I feel, it's the fact that I know once I hit the post button I'll feel better about it all, cos it'll be out of my system , I just need to relax, to not worry about what other people are doing, I need to focus on me and my dreams on what I want to achieve, when I can work out what that is.
On the topic of John, I read his book in 4 days, and you know what, it's the best read I've had in a long time, he just makes me more determined to follow my musical theatre dream, it's always been a passion of mine and I'd love to take it further, I just wish I had realised a hell of a lot sooner. Gonna stop now and post before I write a whole essay :-)
*Takes a deep breath and smiles!*
And you know what I can. I'm an adult now, I don't need tell off if I swear, or if I have an opinion, like the one about him needind to take resposibiltly for his things. I've got enough to think about without him putting more on me. I'm 20 years old and I quite honestly have no idea what I want to do with my life. I've got options, not all of them great but some of them are amazing, I'm going to audition for I'd Do Anything on Friday, I'm gonna try my hardest to get somewhere with it, even if it's just to the workshop so I can work out if Musical Theatre is right for me. I would just like for once for my dad to accept me for the person I am. Not try and change me into the person he wants me to be. It's so annoying. Just cos he messed up with my of my half-siblings doesn't mean he has to try and make me the perfect one. He's so controlling when it comes to what I can and can't do, he needs to look at himself and want he needs to change about himself before he starts putting the blame on me.
I just feel like crap for various reasons at the moment. One of those is coming down from the fangirling high of Sunday. Went to see the last performance of Aladdin with John Barrowman in it and it was awesome, so pumped up about that so coming back down quite literally hurts. One day I'll learn that these events are like an addiction and coming down from a high is a bad thing. One day, hopefully not soon though!
You know the one thing that I love about the way I feel, it's the fact that I know once I hit the post button I'll feel better about it all, cos it'll be out of my system , I just need to relax, to not worry about what other people are doing, I need to focus on me and my dreams on what I want to achieve, when I can work out what that is.
On the topic of John, I read his book in 4 days, and you know what, it's the best read I've had in a long time, he just makes me more determined to follow my musical theatre dream, it's always been a passion of mine and I'd love to take it further, I just wish I had realised a hell of a lot sooner. Gonna stop now and post before I write a whole essay :-)
*Takes a deep breath and smiles!*