"Slappers in boob-tubes fighting seagulls for chips" LMAO!
So, John Barrowman on Friday Night With Johnathon Ross...quite possibly the filthiest interview ever! Needless to say I was in hysterics! Loved Four Poofs And A Piano wearing t-shirts with Captain Jack on them! And they sang "Starship Trooper" when he came out! :P
JR: Looking every inch the idol that you are.
JB: And there's a lot of inches to look at.
JR: They hinted at Jack's... let’s face it he’s kind of an open sexuality.
JB: He's-if you need a label, you'll say bisexual, but if you want to use the science fiction terms he’s 'omnisexual.'
JR: Omnisexual?
JB: Yeah, he'll kind of, um, I dunno, I'm gonna say it anyway, you can bleep it out, but he'll... go with anything with a hole.
JR: He's kind of like, he's like a time-travelling Wayne Rooney.
JR: Would you make love with a lady monkey-or even a gentleman monkey?
JB: You know what, I think if, if you’re hard and horny enough I think you'd do it. I really think you would.
JB: In the basement, in the lower level of the Hub, which is our base, and uh, she was being kept alive by him because he saved her-this is gonna sound really labourious for those of you who don’t know, but he saved her from Torchwood 1, which was destroyed by the Cybermen and Daleks during the Battle of Canary Wharf.
JR: Here’s the thing I love, John, when you see John, he's a good looking man, he’s got matinee idol written all over him, but he's...
JB: ...a big nerd...
JR: ...you scratch the surface and he's an annoying thirteen-year-old.'It’s the Battle of Canary Wharf.'
JB: And we talk about it on set and say this like it really happened, 'cause in our world, it really does!
JR: Well, I kind of believed you when I saw it.
JB: There you go!
JR: I just think the government might've covered up the Daleks.
JB: Actually, well, some of the government members look like Daleks.
JR: What's the scariest monster that you have encountered in Cardiff, and don't say Charlotte Church.
JB: Um, there's, every Friday night walking down the street or when we're in Cardiff, and we're filming, there's a lot of scary monsters that, you know, blond and tube-tops with miniskirts and very bad high-heels, and the best thing is to watch them fight the seagulls, the seagulls try to steal the chips from the girls when they come out of clubs. And that's hysterical. That's about the best monster.
JR: Hold it, this actually happens, or you've made this up.
JB: No no no, it happens.
JR: That sounds like one of the greatest spectator sports a man could see!
JB: It's fantastic.
JRs: Slappers in boob-tubes fighting seagulls for chips. [laughing] Why haven't they filmed that? I would watch that. Wouldn’t you watch that? You put a live camera up, we could watch that and bet on which one was gonna get the... that sounds like a great night out!
JB: All I'll say that next week we'll, you'll encounter fairies. And not our kind of fairies, but those kinds [flutters hands]. Actually they’re the same, aren’t they?
JB: I was in a fraternity house in college, the stuff you see on television and movies about frat boys are completely true. They lined us all on the floor, I had to lay down, and they put one-dollar-bills in our mouths--I’m gonna stand up here-and they had this woman come in and she was quite hefty, and we’re all lying down and she stood over us and did this [squatting and wiggling], and she took the dollar bills out of our mouth with her chooch. It was like the bearded clam walking down on you. And this woman, she snapped it up! I rang my mother, I rang my mother...
JR: ...and said 'mum, what are you doing in the fraternity house!'
JB: ...and I said to my, I said 'what do I do?' she said-when I speak to my mom, I speak [Scottish accent] with a Scottish accent-she said, 'son, John, you go in that cupboard and you get Dettol and you scrub your face with Dettol!'
JR: Because I know [air quotes] 'dogs out' for 'a walk' often ends up with a 'cock' in his 'mouth.'
JB: And there’s me, walking around in Cardiff down by the Bay at night, with Penny in a dog stroller and the other one on a leash, and do you think that's gonna attract cock? No.
JB: Whatever! [makes 'whatever' hand sign]
JR: Andrew Lloyd Webber.
JB: Yeah.
JR: And you’ve met Andrew, presumably.
JB: Well, I did a TV show for the BBC called How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria.
JR: Has he ever walked up behind you when you weren’t expecting it.
JB: I hope not.
JR: And you’ve turned round and you’ve just gone ‘OH JESUS what is that!!” Does that ever happen?
JB: I wanna work for him again, you know what I mean? No, that has never happened, but…
JR: Have you ever made a figure out of plasticene, right, and left it in a hot room for any period of time?
JB: And stuck some hair in it.
JR: And come back in and thought...
JB: That looks like Andrew!
JB: The dialogue was terrible and there was one particular scene the director asked me to get something out of the female I was acting opposite, and um, I leaned over to her and I ad-libbed this and I said, 'You know, I'm feeling kind of wired. What do you say I take you home and eat your pussy?' Right? It was a joke, to make her laugh, they left it in the freaking movie!! And I’m sitting there, it's a movie I could let my nieces and nephew watch, and there all of a sudden Uncle John’s going 'what do you say I take you home and eat'-TURN IT OFF!!
JR: That must have confused them for any number of reasons.
Transcripted by tonko_ni!
Hehe! Yeah, definitely not the stuff to be letting the kids watch. Loved when he broke out the Scottish accent! *swoons* Anyway, rented The Phantom of the Opera last night. Fell asleep before I saw the end, so might watch the end tonight. But I don't know, because The Two Towers is on and I ahvn't seen that in ages! Also missed the last 15mins of Robin Hood, but it's taped so I'll watch it later. I'll write a review on that maybe Tuesday. Oh, also rented The Little Mermaid! I love that film!
JR: Looking every inch the idol that you are.
JB: And there's a lot of inches to look at.
JR: They hinted at Jack's... let’s face it he’s kind of an open sexuality.
JB: He's-if you need a label, you'll say bisexual, but if you want to use the science fiction terms he’s 'omnisexual.'
JR: Omnisexual?
JB: Yeah, he'll kind of, um, I dunno, I'm gonna say it anyway, you can bleep it out, but he'll... go with anything with a hole.
JR: He's kind of like, he's like a time-travelling Wayne Rooney.
JR: Would you make love with a lady monkey-or even a gentleman monkey?
JB: You know what, I think if, if you’re hard and horny enough I think you'd do it. I really think you would.
JB: In the basement, in the lower level of the Hub, which is our base, and uh, she was being kept alive by him because he saved her-this is gonna sound really labourious for those of you who don’t know, but he saved her from Torchwood 1, which was destroyed by the Cybermen and Daleks during the Battle of Canary Wharf.
JR: Here’s the thing I love, John, when you see John, he's a good looking man, he’s got matinee idol written all over him, but he's...
JB: ...a big nerd...
JR: ...you scratch the surface and he's an annoying thirteen-year-old.'It’s the Battle of Canary Wharf.'
JB: And we talk about it on set and say this like it really happened, 'cause in our world, it really does!
JR: Well, I kind of believed you when I saw it.
JB: There you go!
JR: I just think the government might've covered up the Daleks.
JB: Actually, well, some of the government members look like Daleks.
JR: What's the scariest monster that you have encountered in Cardiff, and don't say Charlotte Church.
JB: Um, there's, every Friday night walking down the street or when we're in Cardiff, and we're filming, there's a lot of scary monsters that, you know, blond and tube-tops with miniskirts and very bad high-heels, and the best thing is to watch them fight the seagulls, the seagulls try to steal the chips from the girls when they come out of clubs. And that's hysterical. That's about the best monster.
JR: Hold it, this actually happens, or you've made this up.
JB: No no no, it happens.
JR: That sounds like one of the greatest spectator sports a man could see!
JB: It's fantastic.
JRs: Slappers in boob-tubes fighting seagulls for chips. [laughing] Why haven't they filmed that? I would watch that. Wouldn’t you watch that? You put a live camera up, we could watch that and bet on which one was gonna get the... that sounds like a great night out!
JB: All I'll say that next week we'll, you'll encounter fairies. And not our kind of fairies, but those kinds [flutters hands]. Actually they’re the same, aren’t they?
JB: I was in a fraternity house in college, the stuff you see on television and movies about frat boys are completely true. They lined us all on the floor, I had to lay down, and they put one-dollar-bills in our mouths--I’m gonna stand up here-and they had this woman come in and she was quite hefty, and we’re all lying down and she stood over us and did this [squatting and wiggling], and she took the dollar bills out of our mouth with her chooch. It was like the bearded clam walking down on you. And this woman, she snapped it up! I rang my mother, I rang my mother...
JR: ...and said 'mum, what are you doing in the fraternity house!'
JB: ...and I said to my, I said 'what do I do?' she said-when I speak to my mom, I speak [Scottish accent] with a Scottish accent-she said, 'son, John, you go in that cupboard and you get Dettol and you scrub your face with Dettol!'
JR: Because I know [air quotes] 'dogs out' for 'a walk' often ends up with a 'cock' in his 'mouth.'
JB: And there’s me, walking around in Cardiff down by the Bay at night, with Penny in a dog stroller and the other one on a leash, and do you think that's gonna attract cock? No.
JB: Whatever! [makes 'whatever' hand sign]
JR: Andrew Lloyd Webber.
JB: Yeah.
JR: And you’ve met Andrew, presumably.
JB: Well, I did a TV show for the BBC called How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria.
JR: Has he ever walked up behind you when you weren’t expecting it.
JB: I hope not.
JR: And you’ve turned round and you’ve just gone ‘OH JESUS what is that!!” Does that ever happen?
JB: I wanna work for him again, you know what I mean? No, that has never happened, but…
JR: Have you ever made a figure out of plasticene, right, and left it in a hot room for any period of time?
JB: And stuck some hair in it.
JR: And come back in and thought...
JB: That looks like Andrew!
JB: The dialogue was terrible and there was one particular scene the director asked me to get something out of the female I was acting opposite, and um, I leaned over to her and I ad-libbed this and I said, 'You know, I'm feeling kind of wired. What do you say I take you home and eat your pussy?' Right? It was a joke, to make her laugh, they left it in the freaking movie!! And I’m sitting there, it's a movie I could let my nieces and nephew watch, and there all of a sudden Uncle John’s going 'what do you say I take you home and eat'-TURN IT OFF!!
JR: That must have confused them for any number of reasons.
Transcripted by tonko_ni!
Hehe! Yeah, definitely not the stuff to be letting the kids watch. Loved when he broke out the Scottish accent! *swoons* Anyway, rented The Phantom of the Opera last night. Fell asleep before I saw the end, so might watch the end tonight. But I don't know, because The Two Towers is on and I ahvn't seen that in ages! Also missed the last 15mins of Robin Hood, but it's taped so I'll watch it later. I'll write a review on that maybe Tuesday. Oh, also rented The Little Mermaid! I love that film!