1 week
so theres only a week left of skool...n SOOO much is on my mind...so we'll start w/ kasondra...for some reason we seem so different now...in every way...we are not the same people that left ghetto lynn in late august...we completely transformed into new people, we grew up...shes head ova heels 4 a guy...one she really likes n stuff...n im happy 4 her...he seems wonderful & makes her happy...but at the same time its a new concept seeing her as a "one man woman"...she wants 2 call him 24/7...shes all about him...n her not talkin 2 gary is also weird, like im glad she dont, she was unhappy n cheatin on him...it wasnt rite, healthy, or normal and just didnt work...but at the same time, its strange...my life in lynn consisted of me her gary n brandon, n now its not like that n while shes workin 24/7 in lynn theres no1 else 4 me...im not guna be able 2 call brandon, even if him n his girl break up, cuz kasondra will hate me n stuff, plus i want more...but its a whole new life...a new concept-a better one for her n im thrilled...shes my girl n i want the best 4 her...n she plans on stayin in FL...which i guess makes sense, i knew she wud afta the summa, i had a gut feelin...theres "nuthin here 4 her"...so im glad shes moving on...but my heart is and always will be in lynn...thats where i will stay...i will build a life hea n stuff...the end of this year just brought on the reality of growing up...i pray 2 god that we will always stay friends...shes my other half...she knows my past n we are still alike...i want her in my future...i want her as my maid of honor at my weddin, and i want her 2 be the godmother of my baby...lol...i think we have become closer over the miles than ever before & i hope it stays that way...but i miss her like crazy, i just cant picture life w/o her...n this summer better be a blast...i wanna spend time w/ her as much as we can...i will never find a friend like her...
then theres skool...i love people here for the most part, but at the same time i just always feel different...like not like them...like they dont like me for me...i mean they are awesome friends...jills an amazing person...joey is probably the greatest person ive ever met...michelle is the best, but i am always paranoid i am gunna do sumthin 2 piss them off...and sometimes i feel left out...n i think michelle n jill will become better friends w/ each other than w/ me...n i think joey will 4get i exist...i duno what i wud have done w/o them this year...we have made the best out of a not so exciting year n i love every moment i spent w/ them...i hope we keep in touch ova summa vaca n stuff...they are wonderful people...i love them 2 death...i cant believe we wont be together in a week...wow...its sad...
then theres bran...ok so he goes out w/ sum psyko bitch...he tried 2 break up w/ her n she like threatened 2 off herself...n so he goes back out w/ her apparently...i mean they both live at doris...but their situation made my week...thats sad and pathetic...i could never be with him again...i tried even being friends ova xmas...things went well...i was better than him in the situation...then desiree comes along & BAM...awkward...i need more...i want a relationship...i wanna be happy for a change...i wanna love someone...like i loved brandon...except i want them to love me back...my life would be complete if he felt the way i did...
n a special shout out 2 darnel...thanks 4 our talk...i appreciate it...i needed it...
I AM SOOOO CONFUSED IN THIS WORLD RITE NOW...
then theres skool...i love people here for the most part, but at the same time i just always feel different...like not like them...like they dont like me for me...i mean they are awesome friends...jills an amazing person...joey is probably the greatest person ive ever met...michelle is the best, but i am always paranoid i am gunna do sumthin 2 piss them off...and sometimes i feel left out...n i think michelle n jill will become better friends w/ each other than w/ me...n i think joey will 4get i exist...i duno what i wud have done w/o them this year...we have made the best out of a not so exciting year n i love every moment i spent w/ them...i hope we keep in touch ova summa vaca n stuff...they are wonderful people...i love them 2 death...i cant believe we wont be together in a week...wow...its sad...
then theres bran...ok so he goes out w/ sum psyko bitch...he tried 2 break up w/ her n she like threatened 2 off herself...n so he goes back out w/ her apparently...i mean they both live at doris...but their situation made my week...thats sad and pathetic...i could never be with him again...i tried even being friends ova xmas...things went well...i was better than him in the situation...then desiree comes along & BAM...awkward...i need more...i want a relationship...i wanna be happy for a change...i wanna love someone...like i loved brandon...except i want them to love me back...my life would be complete if he felt the way i did...
n a special shout out 2 darnel...thanks 4 our talk...i appreciate it...i needed it...
I AM SOOOO CONFUSED IN THIS WORLD RITE NOW...