(Untitled)

[taraljc]

I think there's some wide-spread confusion about things like how to punctuate dialogue, and what ellipsis are for, and how to format fiction for reading on-line. So I decided to come up with a quick-and-dirty guide. There are I'm sure a hundred of these--both fannish and just Chicago Style Guide clones floating about, but I wanted something (I

Comments

[gwynnega]

Or would you still put a period after the first bit of dialogue, make the narration a separate sentence, and make the second bit of dialogue a separate sentence?

Yes, this is the way to do it.

[gwynnega]

I guess it's more of a style thing. I would still use periods, because I think "the Doctor threw two switches" after a comma would be a little clunky.

[budclare]

To me, the issue in this case isn't the dialogue. It just seems really odd to put such a long sentence in the middle of a sentence, and that particular sentence would have to be revised a bit to make it work regardless. With a short narrative bit, it works fine. "That's not a tree," he said, "but you still owe me fifty bucks."

...hello, gibberish.

[budclare]

Concise gibberish. I'm very proud. :)

[taraljc]

yes, using the previous example to build on was perhaps unwise of me...

*facepalms*

[pbristow]

Here's my perspective. In the instance you've constructed, the sequence events appears to be:

1. The Doctor says something, and operates the controls.
2. The TARDIS *unexpectedly* lurches, effectively undermining what the Doctor has just said.
3. The Doctor decides to cover his embarassment by extending the original sentence with a caveat.

And here's how I would render that:

"She's a very flash time ship."
The Doctor threw two switches, then grabbed the console as the ship listed drunkenly to one side.
"...But sometimes she needs a little motivation to work properly."

I.e. not only sing three separate sentences, but three separate paragraphs, emphasising the broken-up sequence of events.

On the other hand, if that's not the intention, and the author just wants to show in a dynamic way that the Doctor is struggling to control the TARDIS while he's talking, then try this:

"She's a very flash time ship - " (the Doctor threw two switches, then grabbed the console as the ship listed drunkenly to one side) " - but sometimes she

[pbristow]

"In the instance you've constructed"

Sorry, by "you" I mean mylildementor.

[taraljc]

good point--I shall add that example, cos yeah, commas if the dialogue is split in two but is all still the same sentence.