Sorry is suppose to make it better?

[taraleecheetham]

SO yeah over the last month alot has gone on. I have been put down, talked about, talked down, treated like shit and still tryed to make pike talk to his family. After hearing how I was a useless girlfriend/mom/humon being for the last month things are suppose to all better now that they said they were sorry? Nah I cant get past it, I can not accept the fact that a man that was suppose to think so much of me talked about me like I was a piece of shit that did nothing for his family. He stood there and questioned my abilty as a mom, girlfriend, friend. That is what hurt the most. Who esle in this fucking place tryed to make sure my kids, pike, and even his family had what ever I could give them to help, while I did without. I have gave so much, so many times for people to turn there backs on me? Nah sorry I can not get past the fact that I tryed to be a friend to them, tryed to help them in anyway I could. When she had no one and thought that her life was falling apart who was the one that was there? ME! The fool. It was me that sat with her while she cryed and me that took smokes, food, money to her when she needed it. I dunno anymore all I wanna do is sit and cry. I cant take no more, I can not open back up to someone that I was so close to, I dunno I needed to get this and more out. Again, it is not intended to be mean or hatefull. Just needed to get this out.

I must go find my niece Ashley, I miss her like crazy cause now since her and pike have different days off and I dont see her anymore. I think I will email her just to let her know that I miss her. Fuck I am a loser.