(no subject)
So, because I am currently depressed by my life, the state of the world and the state of the country, I’m going to take a moment to focus on the things that are good in the world. Thus:
An Ode to Armin Shimerman
I have a thing for actors.
By which I mean, ‘people who can act.’
I have recently discovered an actor. His name is Armin Shimerman. He is a stage actor, has appeared in some movies and worked for television. On the third series of Star Trek, Deep Space Nine, he plays Quark, a Ferengi barkeep and salesman/profiteer with a large and maladjusted family.
I love him. And now I will tell you why. In brief, because I could literally do this for hours. (Warning; babble herein.)
He is a really, really good actor. He is a really, really good actor when stuck under twenty pounds of orange alien make-up.
He is so damn sweet. Watch him being interviewed. See what a goddamn sweetie he is. http://www.interviewinghollywood.com/armin-shimerman.html
‘We are the prize pigs.’ -describing actors attending conventions.
He is a fanboy. He watched the original Star Trek.
He is obviously proud of what he has done, but doesn't come off as vain or egotistical.
He praises the people he works with, and the people who do his makeup, and the writers.
He supports science fiction writers, and thinks it’s weird that actors get more credit than they do.
He quotes people who say things to him.
He is really versatile. He has played the principal in Buffy and the in Beauty and the Beast.
He says things like ‘on somebody else’s dime.’
One of his favourite actors is James Cagney.
He once fainted on the set because the make-up was too hot. He fainted while hanging from a pole. And then he went and did it all over again. Man is not a wimp.
His favourite episode is ‘Beyond the Stars’-one of the cornerstones of DS9 (hell, of all Star Trek) because it takes the issue of racism and sexism as bred into a culture's mindset and rubs them in the audience's face, while at the same time paying tribute to science fiction writers in general. (Watch this. It is great.)
I should state here that DS9 is, by itself, a pretty awesome show. By far the best of the Star Treks, IMO. It featured the first black captain, and the first homosexual kiss in a TV series. It was the first and only Star Trek to take place on a stationary space outpost, as opposed to in a moving ship. It dealt with war, and genocide. It dealt with terrorism (not always brilliantly, but you can’t have everything.) It dealt with cultural divisions between aliens. It created Quark and Kira and Garak and Odo and JakeandNog’s incredibly high slash ratio.
Bear in mind, I don’t even care for Star Trek much. The Federation always felt too much like a soft-handed empire, the aliens never look like aliens, and the fact that the entire series will centre largely inside a confined area makes me feel claustrophobic. Except on DS9.
It had its faults. It had plenty. It occasionally fell into the traps it set out to oppose- the alien races that looked like white people were generally more benevolent and sophisticated (the Trills, the Bajorans, those guys with the weird headdress things in the first season.) It wasn’t even handed with screen time or characterisation (vis. the Ferengi, in particular.) The ending felt a little weak. The Federation did not fall in a bloody, explosion-ridden revolution, to be replaced by a government of the people, finally disrupting the status quo.
But it was well-written and well-played and it made fun of the Vulcans. So it wins a small piece of my heart, and it makes me want to write science fiction movies for a living.
Back to Armin.
He says that, of all Quark’s romantic entanglements, his favourite was Grilka- a seven foot Klingon woman who kidnapped him, married him under duress, divorced him and now visits him for financial advice, chats, and sex. Quark conspired to romance her by reciting opera and learning to swordfight. Tragically, Grilka only appeared in two episodes, but I like to imagine that they eventually hooked up, had a kid and bought their own moon. Grilka rules as a benevolent monarch, and Quark controls a huge bloodwine smuggling operation, in between helping his brother run the Ferengi alliance.
So, I am pleased that Grilka was his favourite.
Armin didn’t create the Ferengi, but he did make them into real people, which the writers often failed to do. In the beginning, the species was as one dimensional as Lord Voldesaurotor, sitting on a throne made of skulls and drinking a glass of children’s tears laced with the blood of the innocent. By the end, they were a real culture, with emotions, religion, non-violent but inbuilt oppression, food speciliaties and a lot of untapped potential. Part of this was the writers. Part was Armin, who was also one of the first Ferengi in Next Generation.
He is exceptionally sexy. He makes any alien he plays exceptionally sexy, which is weird, given that the writers who originally thought up the Ferengi described them as ‘short, ugly little aliens with bad teeth.’ (wtf? They’re not bad. They’re just really sharp.)
I love his voice, I love his curly hand gestures. His FINGERS! *squees* Not to mention the fact that, aesthetically, he is utterly beautiful.
(I have been told that I have a strange taste in men. For example; Brad Pitt is, as far as I’m concerned, as plain as rye bread. Much the same for Tom Cruise and Will Smith. But the curly-haired guy who played the Dentist in my high school’s Rocky Horror? The one with the abnormally wide mouth, thin lips, squinty eyes and pale freckles? Yowza.
I have been told that this is strange. But, honest to God, I do not see what Cruise has to recommend him. He’s goddamn dull.)
It’s the shiny eyes. Or maybe the huge ears. Or maybe the adorable little chin. Or the weirdly-shaped nose. No, no, it’s not any of those. It’s the facial expressions. He is also very short. His wife is about a foot taller.
He has also written a DS9 book, which I have ordered and will soon devour.
I want to hug him. And have sex with him. And keep him in glass box so I can carry him around and talk about theatre and writing whenever I want. And, occasionally, lick the box.
And even though the Ferengi were often relegated to the Comedy Corner, where getting custard pie in your face is hilarious and the big scenes get taken by the prettier species, damn if Armin didn’t make the Ferengi episodes just as touching and dramatic as the human/Klingon/Cardassian ones. Weird-looking people with weird-sounding voices can deliver just as many gut punches! Storylines that centre around family spats and money and pratfalls and really terrified civilians can be just as enthralling as the ones that centre around trained combatants! COMEDY CHARACTERS ARE PEOPLE, TOO.
Even though Quark didn’t always get as much of a storyline as he should have, Armin made what he had fantastic. Because Armin? Can act.
I have a thing for actors.
Go find him. Watch him. Love him. Now.