GOD HELP ME!!!

[tara_lynne_87]

I've never really realized I have so many fears. Like my extreme fear of rejection. I hate the thought of being rejected. It hurts! So before someone can get to close or before I ever let anyone know how I truly feel towards them, I push them away. I feel like that if I push them away before they can me I have accomplished something. But I haven't! It justs make shit a lot more worse and a hell of a lot more stressful for me. This is probably the reason why I have only a few friends that I tell the serious stuff to. And obviously you all know who you are. But I've decided that I shouldn't be scared anymore cause it is human nature to be rejected. But I have felt rejection so many times that I don't know if I could go out and get rejected. I don't know how I would be able to handle it. Most people act on there crushes right, I don't. Normal people can make new friends with out putting up and brick wall, I can't. I think about being rejected all the time and I hate it. It seems as though that is all I think about. What if? is the biggest question of my life. I'll be 70 asking myself, what if I told the people I had crushes on, would we have got together and would I be with them now. What if I made that new girl my friend, and told her stuff, without that brick wall between us, would I have more friends, would I be mroe liked by others? I don't know but I'm not all here right now and I'm going to go do something worth my time.
Love me Tara Lynne