(no subject)
I am really seriously concerned.....I should be excited to be getting married..........but.........I just am not. I think it's cuz in my heart I know that Chris really dosen't want to get married. And in my heart I feel like the only reason it even came up was cuz he wants a baby and I told him time and time again I wasn't gunna have anotherone til I was married. But honestly....I don't think the doctors are right. I honestly with 210% of my heart believe that I cannot have kids again. That scared me and depresses me cuz I don't want Chyanne to grow up with no siblings.
Another thing, I am seriously thinking about seeing another head doctor cuz no matter how much I pretend. I am ALWAYS depressed and hate every aspect of my life. I believe strongly that this is the reason why I am doing so poorly in school and I don't know how to fix it. Plus, I can't pay any of my damn bills cuz I am poor and I just got a shutoff notice from consumers.....don't ask me how in the hell I am going to pay for it. yeah yeah yeah I know I need to save money but between gas and chris' damn cancer on a stick it seems near impossible.
On a lighter note, I signed up for my Spring and Fall classes today. This spring I'm taking yet another English class. Should be fairly easy since English has ALWAYS been a cake course for me. Then this Fall I am taking Biology 151 and Biology Lab 151 and my Final English course. Then next winter I have to go take the NET test and fill out the nesesery forms for my criminal background check. Then when all that is done I can FINALLY get on the waiting list for clinicals.
Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll I think that is all the ranting and raiving I have for today.