Local Woman Makes Discovery -- Well After Everyone Else
Local Woman Makes Discovery -- Well After Everyone Else
DALLAS -- Local woman Taphophile, 34, had a life-changing discovery last night. It seems as though when she scuffed her shoes, she either wore them anyway or threw them away. "I buy cheap shoes," she explained, "so it doesn't matter if they only last a year. I think I get my money's worth out of them."
While looking through a discount department store last night for a pair of shoes for an upcoming event, she discovered an end-cap full of shoe products. One thing stood out: black shoe polish. So she bought some.
She did go on to mention that she was reared by two women, and thinks that because shoe polish is generally used on men's dress shoes that she was unaware of how much it could liven up any pair of shoes.
"I can't believe how new they look," she described a pair of Frankenstein-like platform loafers she's been wearing almost every day to work for a couple of years. "You'd never believe how little I paid for them, or how much abuse I've put them through. Look at them now!"
She's currently looking through her other shoes that she can 'fake newness' with, as she's now calling it. "I can't believe I never thought of this before."
When asked if she would be wearing some newly-polished shoes this weekend to a nightspot she's trying to gather a weekly following at, she exclaimed, "Oh, no! It's been a [expletive] of a week. I'm bolting to Austin as soon as I can get out of the office today." And what about the following weekend? "I'll be attending what sounds to be the year's most decadent party next Saturday, so I'll be gathering people for the XPO Lounge starting again on Saturday, April 3rd." She went on to say that people can, of course, go ahead and show up there, but she won't be going back herself for a couple of weeks.
We're betting that she'll be wearing some shiny black shoes.