(no subject)
"you owned me once too" he said
which is the same as saying "not anymore, but it's ok".
he wants change.
my life is changing, i know.
but it's a slow process.
you can't expect to always be excited with what you're doing
especially in college.
and if you're NEVER excited, well, then
it's partially your fault.
if i'm inconstant it's because
i'm scared shitless and going out of my mind with
envy and ego-crushing dreams.
it isn't my trying to build a life outside of ours
that is any reason for anything
but is only a reaction (should i even react?)
to the maddening aloofness and sad looks that you've conjured up.
i am here, i want to be here with you
but also i wonder if i should want to.
which is the same as saying "not anymore, but it's ok".
he wants change.
my life is changing, i know.
but it's a slow process.
you can't expect to always be excited with what you're doing
especially in college.
and if you're NEVER excited, well, then
it's partially your fault.
if i'm inconstant it's because
i'm scared shitless and going out of my mind with
envy and ego-crushing dreams.
it isn't my trying to build a life outside of ours
that is any reason for anything
but is only a reaction (should i even react?)
to the maddening aloofness and sad looks that you've conjured up.
i am here, i want to be here with you
but also i wonder if i should want to.