march 19
break is like a giant cake.
It is funny. The end of break, it always comes faster then you thought it would. Break always reminds me of a giant cake, when you get it, it looks so big and incredible and in a few days it is gone. A distant memory of something that was once so tempting and enjoyable is now over and not as important. My break was not eventful; there was no drinking, no bar hopping, no dates, and no real interaction with other people… I just had a week to spend to myself. It was nice. Granted for most of it, I was lying on the couch wondering if I had any friends and why I was watching shit television. But now that it is over, I miss it. I worked on my show, only producing one new piece but I spent a lot of time planning and thinking about what needs to be done. I made a practice loaf of bread, so at least I know there will be bread and juice for food at the reception. I got a new job, which I really like. I close for the first time by myself on Tuesday, so stop into Electric Earth on Randal, just don't come too late because I would like to get out somewhat early.
After last night and this morning, I was positive that I had an ear infection. The pain was unbearable, so much so that I called my parents for advice on what to do. After my mother installing the fear in me, that if I let it go I'd go deaf (maybe one of my greatest fears), I drove home and went to urgent care. Which was strange in itself, the doctor tried to figure out how I was related to the builders, I said my dad, and he kept asking who I was married to. Since when do I look like I should be married? In any case, he got passed the fact that I am not married but a daughter and looked in my ears. He told me they are "disgustingly clean" and I have tmj, which is my least favorite letter combination. I have known that I have tmj for like 2 years, but never has it affected my ears. Pretty much to sum up this syndrome that I have, if I chew tough food/ gum/hard candy, or have my mouth open for a long time, or lock my jaw/grind my teeth, my jaw responds by sharp pain for a few days. So this doesn't seem like that much of a problem to normal people, but it becomes one. I hardly ever chew gum because I know that it causes pain, but sometimes you just need a piece. As for keeping your mouth open, there are the sexual instances where I just have to stop because frankly it is taking too long and my jaw hurts. But in more casual interactions, going to the dentist and having my mouth open hurts. I also tend to get stressed- especially in preparing for my solo show alone and graduation- in which times I lock my jaw. And as guessed I lock my jaw and sometimes grind my teeth in my sleep. In times of insecurity and anxiety I also lock my jaw… so pretty much my jaw is constantly locked. How to fix this problem… take 3 aspirin 3 times a day or I could get a grind plate to wear at night (which I refuse because it costs so much). Though now that I have documented proof of tmj causing problems in my daily life, hopefully my insurance will cover something other than aspirin for life.
Hmm… what else is new in my life…. Eh just stop in and visit me at work either Tuesday or Friday night and we can chat… otherwise, well give me a call or drop me a line and I'll get back to you sooner rather than later.
It is funny. The end of break, it always comes faster then you thought it would. Break always reminds me of a giant cake, when you get it, it looks so big and incredible and in a few days it is gone. A distant memory of something that was once so tempting and enjoyable is now over and not as important. My break was not eventful; there was no drinking, no bar hopping, no dates, and no real interaction with other people… I just had a week to spend to myself. It was nice. Granted for most of it, I was lying on the couch wondering if I had any friends and why I was watching shit television. But now that it is over, I miss it. I worked on my show, only producing one new piece but I spent a lot of time planning and thinking about what needs to be done. I made a practice loaf of bread, so at least I know there will be bread and juice for food at the reception. I got a new job, which I really like. I close for the first time by myself on Tuesday, so stop into Electric Earth on Randal, just don't come too late because I would like to get out somewhat early.
After last night and this morning, I was positive that I had an ear infection. The pain was unbearable, so much so that I called my parents for advice on what to do. After my mother installing the fear in me, that if I let it go I'd go deaf (maybe one of my greatest fears), I drove home and went to urgent care. Which was strange in itself, the doctor tried to figure out how I was related to the builders, I said my dad, and he kept asking who I was married to. Since when do I look like I should be married? In any case, he got passed the fact that I am not married but a daughter and looked in my ears. He told me they are "disgustingly clean" and I have tmj, which is my least favorite letter combination. I have known that I have tmj for like 2 years, but never has it affected my ears. Pretty much to sum up this syndrome that I have, if I chew tough food/ gum/hard candy, or have my mouth open for a long time, or lock my jaw/grind my teeth, my jaw responds by sharp pain for a few days. So this doesn't seem like that much of a problem to normal people, but it becomes one. I hardly ever chew gum because I know that it causes pain, but sometimes you just need a piece. As for keeping your mouth open, there are the sexual instances where I just have to stop because frankly it is taking too long and my jaw hurts. But in more casual interactions, going to the dentist and having my mouth open hurts. I also tend to get stressed- especially in preparing for my solo show alone and graduation- in which times I lock my jaw. And as guessed I lock my jaw and sometimes grind my teeth in my sleep. In times of insecurity and anxiety I also lock my jaw… so pretty much my jaw is constantly locked. How to fix this problem… take 3 aspirin 3 times a day or I could get a grind plate to wear at night (which I refuse because it costs so much). Though now that I have documented proof of tmj causing problems in my daily life, hopefully my insurance will cover something other than aspirin for life.
Hmm… what else is new in my life…. Eh just stop in and visit me at work either Tuesday or Friday night and we can chat… otherwise, well give me a call or drop me a line and I'll get back to you sooner rather than later.