Boundaries

[tapati]

Tuesday I sat through another hard sell for weight loss surgery. I'm so done

Comments

[litlebanana]

Hey, I love this post! Would you mind if I reposted it to my public blog? (I would make you anonymous.)

[tapati]

That would be fine!

It would be nice if more doctors understood that we live all of our lives with hostility about our weight so it's already a sensitive subject. This guy just kept going after I explained in several different ways why it isn't right for me. I was just flattened. I even cried again today over it. He apparently has responded to my letter but I can't look in case he's gaslighting. I'm looking for another doctor.

I've had PCPs I could really work with who understood my position and listened--and I in turn listened to their concerns. But they weren't pushy and didn't belabor the issue.

[litlebanana]

I agree! A lot of doctors read the blog and I want them to see it. I’ll post it Monday.

[tapati]

I've been thinking that another piece of this for me is that after a childhood being used by my Munchausen-by-proxy mother and not having any control over what she inspired doctors to have done to me in terms of tests and surgeries, being able to assert myself with doctors and be heard is particularly important to me. I already hate being in a position to once again have tests and procedures and sometimes surgeries. Often I avoid making appointments in the hopes of minimizing all of that. And I told this doctor when my previous doctor moved away about my MBP childhood and how it affects me. I'm guessing he didn't remember that and he was just reacting to "OMG very fat heart patient must save."

I'm a whole person with a mind and heart and soul and a life history. Not just a collection of fat cells to conquer.

[tapati]

I hope it went well; I was feeling too vulnerable to check it out. Anything I can do to raise awareness so that doctors and fat patients can understand each other better I am happy to do.