Week 6, Verse 7
The Tao is infinite, eternal.
Why is it eternal?
It was never born;
thus it can never die.
Why is it infinite?
It has no desires for itself;
thus it is present for all beings.
The Master stays behind;
that is why she is ahead.
She is detached from all things;
that is why she is one with them.
Because she has let go of herself,
she is perfectly fulfilled.
---
Since I wrote my last post (which is protected more for reasons of talking about other people's lives than talking about my own), I feel like I've gathered myself around my center a bit more. Stopped dwelling so much on desires for myself and started being more present for all beings. Because magically enough then when I don't dwell, I really do feel perfectly fulfilled.
I am tempted to make the reasons why I feel fulfilled about what I have - I have roommates I love who actually feel like a family and give me love and snuggles and things to do, I have dance classes where I feel my body and its balance, I have an apartment off campus where I feel like an adult, I have projects that yield tangible results in the form of seedlings, or knitted arm-warmers, or tasty curry, I have a number of good friends and one attractive man waiting for me when I head back to Michigan, I have classes where I learn and apply new skills and facts, I have opportunities for the future, etc. Fundamentally, I do feel quite rich in what I have, and in many ways closer to my ideal situation than I have ever been.
But fulfillment isn't about what you have. It's about realizing that you don't really *have* anything, except the Tao. Infinite, eternal, and present in all things. Every day, I hope, I detach myself from things a little more, and as a result, feel even more a part of them. Do you know how much freedom and joy there is in doing things without wanting a certain outcome? In letting go of "yourself" as a construct to interact with others, and just flowing? I can do chores and not worry if no one thanks me or helps - but still appreciate it when they do. I can make food and not feel disappointed if others don't enjoy it - but again, feel glad when they do. I can give love and not be upset when it doesn't solve everything - but know that it never hurts. I stay behind and feel ahead.
Sometimes, friends, I will make posts where it sounds like I am struggling, not getting it, not present and fulfilled. Those are a necessary part of holding on to the center. But so is this.
Why is it eternal?
It was never born;
thus it can never die.
Why is it infinite?
It has no desires for itself;
thus it is present for all beings.
The Master stays behind;
that is why she is ahead.
She is detached from all things;
that is why she is one with them.
Because she has let go of herself,
she is perfectly fulfilled.
---
Since I wrote my last post (which is protected more for reasons of talking about other people's lives than talking about my own), I feel like I've gathered myself around my center a bit more. Stopped dwelling so much on desires for myself and started being more present for all beings. Because magically enough then when I don't dwell, I really do feel perfectly fulfilled.
I am tempted to make the reasons why I feel fulfilled about what I have - I have roommates I love who actually feel like a family and give me love and snuggles and things to do, I have dance classes where I feel my body and its balance, I have an apartment off campus where I feel like an adult, I have projects that yield tangible results in the form of seedlings, or knitted arm-warmers, or tasty curry, I have a number of good friends and one attractive man waiting for me when I head back to Michigan, I have classes where I learn and apply new skills and facts, I have opportunities for the future, etc. Fundamentally, I do feel quite rich in what I have, and in many ways closer to my ideal situation than I have ever been.
But fulfillment isn't about what you have. It's about realizing that you don't really *have* anything, except the Tao. Infinite, eternal, and present in all things. Every day, I hope, I detach myself from things a little more, and as a result, feel even more a part of them. Do you know how much freedom and joy there is in doing things without wanting a certain outcome? In letting go of "yourself" as a construct to interact with others, and just flowing? I can do chores and not worry if no one thanks me or helps - but still appreciate it when they do. I can make food and not feel disappointed if others don't enjoy it - but again, feel glad when they do. I can give love and not be upset when it doesn't solve everything - but know that it never hurts. I stay behind and feel ahead.
Sometimes, friends, I will make posts where it sounds like I am struggling, not getting it, not present and fulfilled. Those are a necessary part of holding on to the center. But so is this.