wow i'm just so out of it lately
okay so currently right now im in front of this computer under a blanket and... i've just been really moody lately... i dont know why. there are so few people that i can really get along with.. bianca and angela are among the few.. but i've really begun to hate myself but very quietly... its like i hate myself for becoming so bitter now a days.. i used to be a really happy person but if anyone from mandarin saw me like this...they would seriously get on my case about the person i have become....i still want to go back. and maybe i dont let go of the possibility of going back because it is so close to me. i miss waking up really tired at 6 am and catching that crazy bus at 6:15 just to walk around F hall and O hall... oh how i miss mr bon bon and every time a calculator falls to the ground i just cant help but say to my self (very quietly) "they dont bounce to well." every time i think of that phrase it just brings a sad smile to my face... i thought i was over this but i'm really not..sure i have lots of friends now i even have a friend who every time he see's me he gives me a hug.. its nice to just have a friend like that whom your not the absolute closest to. And i actually have people saying hi to me when i walk down the hall..*sigh* one of these days i'll convince my mother to let me ride the bus one of these cold mornings so i can see my best friend and even though she is not allowed to talk to me because her parents thing i am the bad influence i'll always consider her my best friend.. no she will always be my other half of a person because she was the only one who truely understood me and knew the REAL me she always knew everything i went through and both our lives were soo similar it scared me. and noone will ever eat those damn custard filled doughnuts the way we do. We asked people and we were the only ones who did it. i think writing about all these things from my current past life make me feel better. the only thing i am looking forward to right now is this weekend i gotta talk to my dad about it and he isnt hope just yet... lets hope he says yes. but in anycase.. i've made this long enough and time for me to go and practice my spanish! so im out!
Liz
Liz