[triple drabble] Temeraire/RPF
Written for arahmbamaramaxover drabble meme. I still haven't quite forgiven myself for this yet.
TItle: Napoleon Is Of No Importance to Rahm
Fandoms: Temeraire/RPF-Politics
Genre: Crack
Warnings: Lots of swearing, Rahm, IoE spoilers, crack subtext
“You British people are always pussies! It doesn’t matter if it’s now or a hundred years into the fucking future. Holy shit. Pussies, all of you-“
Captain William Laurence was not quite sure how on God’s green earth did this strange (if not unexplainably and uncomfortably attractive) man came to be, sitting next to him while he and Temeraire were on their way to France with the cure. Quite honestly, Laurence was more bothered by the man’s language and insulting accusations against his country than how he had suddenly manifested himself onboard a flying dragon (and was actually riding easily without the use of a harness).
“I beg your pardon-“ Laurence began, but was instantly cut off with the man scathing in return, “See what I mean? Begging already, ugh. There’s no fun in that if it happens too soon.”
“Sir,” Laurence said, flushing, but continued very firmly, “This disease will be the death of thousands of dragons if we do not deliver this cure.”
The man threw up his arms in exasperation, “And so you’re just going to give Napoleon this damn shroom cure? You might as well take off your pants now and moan about how much your ass hurts, because he’s fucked you already.”
Laurence only stared at him, mouth agape. The man, however, wasted no time in pulling him close for a conspiring whisper.
“Listen, you show Napoleon the shrooms and you wave them in front of his face until he’s on his knees begging for them.”
Vaguely aware that the topic of begging had been mention before, Laurence could only frown, “But-“
“And in the event that begging does occur too soon, Captain Woob, you better fuckin’ do your damnest to make sure it lasts a fuckin’ long time.”
TItle: Napoleon Is Of No Importance to Rahm
Fandoms: Temeraire/RPF-Politics
Genre: Crack
Warnings: Lots of swearing, Rahm, IoE spoilers, crack subtext
“You British people are always pussies! It doesn’t matter if it’s now or a hundred years into the fucking future. Holy shit. Pussies, all of you-“
Captain William Laurence was not quite sure how on God’s green earth did this strange (if not unexplainably and uncomfortably attractive) man came to be, sitting next to him while he and Temeraire were on their way to France with the cure. Quite honestly, Laurence was more bothered by the man’s language and insulting accusations against his country than how he had suddenly manifested himself onboard a flying dragon (and was actually riding easily without the use of a harness).
“I beg your pardon-“ Laurence began, but was instantly cut off with the man scathing in return, “See what I mean? Begging already, ugh. There’s no fun in that if it happens too soon.”
“Sir,” Laurence said, flushing, but continued very firmly, “This disease will be the death of thousands of dragons if we do not deliver this cure.”
The man threw up his arms in exasperation, “And so you’re just going to give Napoleon this damn shroom cure? You might as well take off your pants now and moan about how much your ass hurts, because he’s fucked you already.”
Laurence only stared at him, mouth agape. The man, however, wasted no time in pulling him close for a conspiring whisper.
“Listen, you show Napoleon the shrooms and you wave them in front of his face until he’s on his knees begging for them.”
Vaguely aware that the topic of begging had been mention before, Laurence could only frown, “But-“
“And in the event that begging does occur too soon, Captain Woob, you better fuckin’ do your damnest to make sure it lasts a fuckin’ long time.”