Wind the clock slowly.

[tantrum42]

Went to my dad's friday. Called Evan, he came "home" for the weekend and told me to call when I got there. He ends the conversation approximately 10 min later to watch a movie he had on disc, which means he could've watched it later. So all in all he'd rather watch it than talk to me or come over or something. So the rest of the night and the day saturday I kept thinking that maybe this isn't worth it. I'm scared that all he wants is sex. And I'm not going to give it to him, so that ends the relationship right there. He calls that night at about 9, and asks if I'd like some company. So he comes over and we watch tv and cuddle on the couch, then watched Hellboy...neither of us were paying much attention to it, but we're new to eachother still so both sort of shy, we finished watching it for no apparent reason and then during the credits he's like, "are your parents asleep" and I'm like "Probably, why?" And he goes, "Cause you have about 1/2 an hour to kiss me." What a dork, stole my line. :p So I kissed him and he stayed another hour. haha. So we were making out and stuff when he undoes my belt. Don't worry, there are no details to go in here, so you're safe...because I told him "I'm a slow mover." And so he stops and continues to suck on my bottom lip...which ended up aching and swollen by the time he went home at 2am. =.= lol About 10 min later he starts going into my pants again when I tell him to "be good," He asks "are you sure?" Yes. lol Then after giving me a hickey on each side of my neck he asks if we should undo my bra. I was just wondering, but is it a guys reaction that as soon as your tongue touches theirs, their hand automatically goes to your boob? That's happened pretty much every "first kiss" so far. Just saying. Man... I think I'd go farther with him if I knew more about him, he seems to kind of shy away from the topic of himself. I may have to dig it out of him...before he tries to bury something in me. Heh. I made a funny. Dig. Bury. Ahhh...nevermind. :p I think him and I need to have a "talk." As to what I'm willing to do and what he wants and all. I don't know...I think I just need to get to know him better too, I don't really like getting too close to strangers. It's happened before, it's not a very secure feeling once you realize what has happened. I'm going to see him on tuesday. And then on friday. That's pretty good for a long distance relationship so far. It definately won't be like that for the rest of it though...if there's going to be much of a "rest of it." I'm so confused right now.

To top it off, I've been second-guessing the consequences of:
Alcohol
Drugs
Sex
Tattoos
Piercings
Other sins

Man I'm supposed to be all religious and shit. What the fuck is happening to me? When did this start? I'm scared. What if I do something I regret? I don't want to look back wishing it was like the old days when I didn't have a load of diseases and infections. Please help me get through this...without hurting myself too much.



Love-a-Lot Bear
You love to take care of others and people love being around you because you make them feel appreciated. You are very sweet and soft-spoken. You are also a romantic and consider yourself an excellent matchmaker, so you tend to be a bit nosy. But everyone still considers you the sweetest person they know.

Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!