I sensed that, though it might be true, she no longer knew it.
"I wasn't sure about that letter." I was thinking. Perhaps I can get out of it without having to tell her anything. "You were so sort of - offhand - I couldn't be sure whether you were glad or sorry to be throwing in with me."
"Oh," she said, "but we've always been offhand. It's the only way I could have said it. I was afraid of embarrassing you - don't you understand that?"
What I wanted to suggest was that she was taking me out of desperation, less because she wanted me than because I was there. But I could not say it. I sensed that, though it might be true, she no longer knew it.
- Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin