hmmm
ok i guess since i hate this thing so much this will be my journal behind the journal. The face behind the mask i wear everyday to school and around people.
there is a dilemma i am going through and the problem is i am losing sleep over it. I really shouldn't.
i never got a summer romance and i guess most of me fought against any rational reason why i would need one but the truth is...
....in the dark in my room when i'm all by myself, my real colors show. I'm really actually a lonely person who wishes he had friends who could apreciate him as much as he did them. Almost every summer i had some sort of an affair with a girl and this summer was different. Granted i had more fun but i felt kinda empty. Feels good to know someone of the opposite sex cares about you and calls you once in a while. Not this year tho... i guess people are right about me being a dick and that's prolly why i have some of the probs that i do.
I'm tryin hard tho. Tryin to get people to like me. No, i don't feel that i'm trying to please everyone since i know it's impossible but the thing is...it's something i'd like to do. Make as many people happy with me as possible.
it sucks....the person who cared about me most i don't even care for BACK...
it's hard to love someone when they hurt themselves for you... it's just not right.
I'm so friggin happy that school started but i'm still feeling empty inside.... i certainly do wish that i was a more loveable person. I try so hard when people do not see...
tonight, after my late shower i will be sleeping in my bed, thinking about that same thing/person that has been raiding my sanity.
i just wish people could see the real me. I know they'd like it :) The people who can DO.
"My downfall raises me to infinite heights"
-ALEXander the GR8
damn me being a needy immature 17 year old.... i know it but i'm just human...
there is a dilemma i am going through and the problem is i am losing sleep over it. I really shouldn't.
i never got a summer romance and i guess most of me fought against any rational reason why i would need one but the truth is...
....in the dark in my room when i'm all by myself, my real colors show. I'm really actually a lonely person who wishes he had friends who could apreciate him as much as he did them. Almost every summer i had some sort of an affair with a girl and this summer was different. Granted i had more fun but i felt kinda empty. Feels good to know someone of the opposite sex cares about you and calls you once in a while. Not this year tho... i guess people are right about me being a dick and that's prolly why i have some of the probs that i do.
I'm tryin hard tho. Tryin to get people to like me. No, i don't feel that i'm trying to please everyone since i know it's impossible but the thing is...it's something i'd like to do. Make as many people happy with me as possible.
it sucks....the person who cared about me most i don't even care for BACK...
it's hard to love someone when they hurt themselves for you... it's just not right.
I'm so friggin happy that school started but i'm still feeling empty inside.... i certainly do wish that i was a more loveable person. I try so hard when people do not see...
tonight, after my late shower i will be sleeping in my bed, thinking about that same thing/person that has been raiding my sanity.
i just wish people could see the real me. I know they'd like it :) The people who can DO.
"My downfall raises me to infinite heights"
-ALEXander the GR8
damn me being a needy immature 17 year old.... i know it but i'm just human...