Fic:I forgot Matchy-san came
Title: I forgot Matchy-san came
Rating: Umm PG maybe I dont know
Pairing: Masahiko Kondo/Noriyuki Higashiyama
Notes: The title is from someone’s translation of what Higashi said I think. I forgot who translated it. ^^;; And comments are very welcome. I adore this coupling and I would want to write more of them. It’s just… little odd. I don’t know how they are together really.
Higashiyama was drinking alone. He rarely did such, being who he was, there was always a pretty boy who would not hesitate to keep him company and, of course, there was his little Aiba. This day was dedicated to someone else. Someone he shouldn’t have been thinking about. If he hadn’t been drunk he wouldn’t really have been dwelling in the past. His two most important relationships had been Kondo and Nakai and the former he really hadn’t gotten over.
“I’m an idiot...” He mumbled, just 13 years ago they had broken up. With the help of Nakai it had been somewhat easier. It had been better because of their age already. They weren’t young enough to just fool around and it was getting serious because they had been together for many years, since they were just children. Kondo had given him his first kiss... It was stupid to think of such. He wasn’t a little girl and shouldn’t dwell on something so old. He did, anyway.
The older man had agreed to break up without too many objections but he had been so depressed and horrible for ages after that. He’d even gone so far as to marry a woman. Which probably was better than having women attempt suicide at his apartment, though. Higashiyama had hardly cared about that but Kondo had asked him to do something with him the day before his wedding. They had gone far up in the north to a place that was quiet and lonely up in the mountains, close to an old shrine. There Kondo had taken a lock and written their names on it, though using only their initials. Higashiyama had wanted to protest this but there hadn’t been anyone there and it had been such a cold and sad day. He had said nothing. The lock had been locked and the key had been given to Higashiyama who had clung to it like the last slivers of his sanity. The next day Matchy had gotten married.
An almost empty bottle of expensive sake sat on the table next to him, as well as a pile of photos that he kept locked up in a wooden box kept in the back of his closet. No one should know he had those photos, or the box and its other contents.
One particular photo of him and Matchy being completely oblivious to the camera was right in front of him and now held his gaze. They were 15 and 17, laying in Kondo’s bed, close together and laughing. The photo wasn’t showing their hands clasped together nor how a few minutes ago Matchy had leaned over to kiss him. The photo had caused hem more than a little trouble.
He poured himself a new glass thus emptying the sake bottle and took a sip when suddenly the doorbell rang. He didn’t really care to answer as he was hardly in a mood to see other people. The bell was persistent though and after a few minutes he lost his temper and got up. The world became very unsteady at that height. He stood still for a while until the feeling passed and then walked through his house to the hall. He didn’t even care to look who was behind the door as he pushed it open almost hitting the man behind it with it.
“Matchy...” He should have sounded cold but instead he sounded like a thirsty man who had just found water in the middle of a desert and was not quite believing it to be there. His throat had gone suddenly dry and for what? The man whom he worked with and hanged out on a daily basis. There was NOTHING like that between them any more... or there shouldn’t have been.
“Are you drunk?” The question was answered without any words when Higashiyama took a step and then swayed. Kondo with his typical heroic attitude and reactions was next to him in seconds and the younger man found himself in his ex-lover’s arms. “I suppose you are and you’ve had little too much if you can’t even stand straight.”
Higashiyama realised their faces were inches from each other and he really just forgot about the years that had passed and put his arms around the other man’s neck.
“Matchy...” He said, now like a man who had had the first taste of the water, and pushed his face closer.
“What ARE you doing?” He didn’t seem all that bothered by this but he did pull his head away. “You know it has been a bit too long since that. I think it’s about time you went to bed if you can’t remember that.” Higashi was turned around and brought into his bedroom.
“Will you come too?” Asking wasn’t what he was used to these days but Matchy was older than him and he had to behave a little for the sake of it.
“No, we are not together any more.” He always spoke so gently, even now as he pushed his drunken friend down to his bed.
“We don’t have to get married to have sex.” Higashiyama said with sarcasm and held onto Matchy’s arm not letting him go in case he was about to escape.
“I’m not having sex with you.” His voice was still so gentle it was hard to believe the words, like he was a little amused by the situation and found it cute. Higashi was in no condition to recognise different types of tones.
“Why not?” Obviously, the thought of Kondo finding him unattractive was inane and didn’t even enter his mind. Someone not wanting sex with him was preposterous idea.
“Because you are drunk and...” Matchy eyed the ceiling and then sighed. “We can’t.”
Higashiyama was hardly listening. He was drunk and used to people doing as he wanted. Kondo had never been any different when they had been together. He had always adored his younger friend enough to do whatever it was that he wanted.
“Don’t be silly. We are grown men and we can do what we like.” The younger man yanked on the older one’s arm suddenly and Kondo fell down on him.
“I wonder which one of us it was that wanted to break up because we were too old 10 years ago?” Matchy asked, maybe with slight bitterness in his voice. He was getting annoyed now but he still took his time to sit back up.
Those words seemed to sink in despite the condition Higashiyama was in. He was quiet and looked rather crestfallen. Kondo had a too big heart, everyone knew that. He just couldn’t be mad at his this man. He leaned over resting on his hands.
“Sorry... I know you had to...” Closeness like this was usually enough for them; when they got to work together, when they were together at a bar or anywhere. It had somehow been enough for all these years but right at that moment it wasn’t.
Higashiyama reached to touch Kondo’s cheek. He wasn’t at all sure what he was doing but suddenly having him sit there wasn’t bringing him quite the satisfaction it should have.
The sad loving look Kondo gave him almost tore his already half-frozen heart into pieces and Higashi wished that he wouldn’t be able to remember that look in the morning. Kondo wrapped his fingers around Higashi’s and held the hand for a while before pressing a kiss on his palm. He laid it back down on the younger man’s chest and then looked a little embarrassed. But Higashi squeezed his hand tightly against his chest.
“Higashi... I think I should go and you should sleep.” Kondo said in a voice that sounded strained. He had to pry the younger man’s fingers from his hand. He looked rather pained after that but at least Higashi wasn’t the type to start crying. He never had, not over Matchy or anyone. He would never cry.
“I’ll sleep... good night, Matchy.” He mumbled and turned around. His former lover waited for a while with a troubled expression and then covered his dear with the expensive looking silken sheets in his bed. He was already asleep or, probably, passed out.
“I love you...” He said it like a sad fact of life instead of a confession of his feelings. He left the younger man and went to his kitchen. It wasn’t hard to tear himself away from the sight of him sleeping since he was quite used to doing it during these years already. It wasn’t the first time he’d put him to bed drunk. Luckily, he could usually leave it to one of his boys.
He noticed a pile of photos on the kitchen table when he passed it on his way out and decided to be curious instead and walked over to the table.
“Higashi...” He said quietly and spread the photos of them and other boys of those times around the table to have a proper look.
He remembered Nicky had gotten a camera for his birthday present and he had photographed anything, especially the two of them since they apparently were so photogenic. There were photos of them dancing, eating, at school and in the dormitories. There was also a photo of Higashiyama and him in the bathroom, with him washing the younger man’s back. Though he could remember Higashi throwing his washing basin at Nicky when he’d seen him there with the camera. The other man had been a nuisance back then with the camera but now he thought it had been a good thing, too. They had their memories but they were getting vague as years went by and the photos helped to remember those times. He preferred not to think what would happen if the public got a hold of them. There were plenty of photos Nicky had taken without them ever knowing when they had thought they were alone. He wondered how Higashiyama even had got all of them.
There were photos of Nakai and Higashi together too. He wasn’t so used to hanging out with the SMAP members and TOKIO as Higashiyama was. He really didn’t know them that personally. He had had his own place and Higashiyama was there often enough at those times.
He was a little surprised to find a photo of Nakai asleep in Higashiyama’s bed with the older man holding his head in his lap and caressing his hair. For some reason he turned the photo around. On the back it read: ‘Do you even remember Matchy any more?’ He suspected it was Nicky who had written it but he didn’t know why.
There was a wooden box close to the edge of the table. He picked it up and opened it, he knew he probably shouldn’t have but he doubted Higashi had many secrets from him. There was a simple chain with a key on it. He sighed knowing full well what that key would open. He didn’t know if he should be happy or very upset about the other man keeping it. But what they had was too weird to try and find a reasonable explanation for, anyway.
He put the chain back, and the photos with it, and closed the box. He cleaned the bottle away and went to check on Higashiyama one last time. He was still asleep so Kondo turned off the lights and left.
The next morning Matchy arrived at work a little late. He wasn’t really looking forward on working in Higashi’s office alone with the younger man all day. The other man didn’t even look up from his papers when he arrived.
“You are late, Matchy. 35 minutes and 45 seconds. I hope you weren’t with some woman all night.” Kondo raised an eyebrow at that.
“No... why do you care?” It was odd for Higashi to mention women like that. He almost seemed jealous, that was, of course, if you knew where to look. He was extremely good at hiding his emotions. He had been with Higashi all night and not with women, anyway.
“I just don’t want it to affect your work. We have auditions tomorrow. I hope you are prepared.” Matchy didn’t believe a word of the explanation but he sat down on the sofa and took his laptop.
“Are you feeling better after drinking so much last night?” The older man asked suddenly, a little curious if the younger one actually remembered anything of it. It turned out he did not.
“How do you know what I did last night?!” It was rather unnatural for Higashiyama to act so freaked out. Though even when he did, he merely raised his eyebrows and his eyes got a little wider.
“You called me and begged me to come over. Don’t you remember?” Now Higashi looked almost flushed, at least to Kondo. Most people wouldn’t have noticed a thing. He couldn’t help smiling and said with a soft voice: “Oh, forget about it. You were quite drunk and nothing happened.” Kondo was quite enjoying himself when the usually extremely controlled Higashiyama Noriyuki was looking so nervous and shaken. He arranged some pile of papers then got up and came to sit next to his friend. It would been better to sit further away in this situation but the older man was pleased when Higashi just sat close enough for their shoulders to brush.
“Now, here are the boys auditioning. We should have a look at them all before tomorrow and take out those who will be no good. We will save lot of time that way. It'll take all week long, otherwise.”
This was how they worked all day; just the of them, though occasionally someone would come over but no one stayed for long. Higashi made a few calls too but besides that it was just them together, enjoying the only kind of closeness they could have. It was a little sad but they were happier than completely apart and even the small, innocent touches like their shoulders brushing together or their hands touching were able to bring some warmth into their hearts. They both knew there was never going to be anything more and made the most of the time they had.
- End -
Rating: Umm PG maybe I dont know
Pairing: Masahiko Kondo/Noriyuki Higashiyama
Notes: The title is from someone’s translation of what Higashi said I think. I forgot who translated it. ^^;; And comments are very welcome. I adore this coupling and I would want to write more of them. It’s just… little odd. I don’t know how they are together really.
Higashiyama was drinking alone. He rarely did such, being who he was, there was always a pretty boy who would not hesitate to keep him company and, of course, there was his little Aiba. This day was dedicated to someone else. Someone he shouldn’t have been thinking about. If he hadn’t been drunk he wouldn’t really have been dwelling in the past. His two most important relationships had been Kondo and Nakai and the former he really hadn’t gotten over.
“I’m an idiot...” He mumbled, just 13 years ago they had broken up. With the help of Nakai it had been somewhat easier. It had been better because of their age already. They weren’t young enough to just fool around and it was getting serious because they had been together for many years, since they were just children. Kondo had given him his first kiss... It was stupid to think of such. He wasn’t a little girl and shouldn’t dwell on something so old. He did, anyway.
The older man had agreed to break up without too many objections but he had been so depressed and horrible for ages after that. He’d even gone so far as to marry a woman. Which probably was better than having women attempt suicide at his apartment, though. Higashiyama had hardly cared about that but Kondo had asked him to do something with him the day before his wedding. They had gone far up in the north to a place that was quiet and lonely up in the mountains, close to an old shrine. There Kondo had taken a lock and written their names on it, though using only their initials. Higashiyama had wanted to protest this but there hadn’t been anyone there and it had been such a cold and sad day. He had said nothing. The lock had been locked and the key had been given to Higashiyama who had clung to it like the last slivers of his sanity. The next day Matchy had gotten married.
An almost empty bottle of expensive sake sat on the table next to him, as well as a pile of photos that he kept locked up in a wooden box kept in the back of his closet. No one should know he had those photos, or the box and its other contents.
One particular photo of him and Matchy being completely oblivious to the camera was right in front of him and now held his gaze. They were 15 and 17, laying in Kondo’s bed, close together and laughing. The photo wasn’t showing their hands clasped together nor how a few minutes ago Matchy had leaned over to kiss him. The photo had caused hem more than a little trouble.
He poured himself a new glass thus emptying the sake bottle and took a sip when suddenly the doorbell rang. He didn’t really care to answer as he was hardly in a mood to see other people. The bell was persistent though and after a few minutes he lost his temper and got up. The world became very unsteady at that height. He stood still for a while until the feeling passed and then walked through his house to the hall. He didn’t even care to look who was behind the door as he pushed it open almost hitting the man behind it with it.
“Matchy...” He should have sounded cold but instead he sounded like a thirsty man who had just found water in the middle of a desert and was not quite believing it to be there. His throat had gone suddenly dry and for what? The man whom he worked with and hanged out on a daily basis. There was NOTHING like that between them any more... or there shouldn’t have been.
“Are you drunk?” The question was answered without any words when Higashiyama took a step and then swayed. Kondo with his typical heroic attitude and reactions was next to him in seconds and the younger man found himself in his ex-lover’s arms. “I suppose you are and you’ve had little too much if you can’t even stand straight.”
Higashiyama realised their faces were inches from each other and he really just forgot about the years that had passed and put his arms around the other man’s neck.
“Matchy...” He said, now like a man who had had the first taste of the water, and pushed his face closer.
“What ARE you doing?” He didn’t seem all that bothered by this but he did pull his head away. “You know it has been a bit too long since that. I think it’s about time you went to bed if you can’t remember that.” Higashi was turned around and brought into his bedroom.
“Will you come too?” Asking wasn’t what he was used to these days but Matchy was older than him and he had to behave a little for the sake of it.
“No, we are not together any more.” He always spoke so gently, even now as he pushed his drunken friend down to his bed.
“We don’t have to get married to have sex.” Higashiyama said with sarcasm and held onto Matchy’s arm not letting him go in case he was about to escape.
“I’m not having sex with you.” His voice was still so gentle it was hard to believe the words, like he was a little amused by the situation and found it cute. Higashi was in no condition to recognise different types of tones.
“Why not?” Obviously, the thought of Kondo finding him unattractive was inane and didn’t even enter his mind. Someone not wanting sex with him was preposterous idea.
“Because you are drunk and...” Matchy eyed the ceiling and then sighed. “We can’t.”
Higashiyama was hardly listening. He was drunk and used to people doing as he wanted. Kondo had never been any different when they had been together. He had always adored his younger friend enough to do whatever it was that he wanted.
“Don’t be silly. We are grown men and we can do what we like.” The younger man yanked on the older one’s arm suddenly and Kondo fell down on him.
“I wonder which one of us it was that wanted to break up because we were too old 10 years ago?” Matchy asked, maybe with slight bitterness in his voice. He was getting annoyed now but he still took his time to sit back up.
Those words seemed to sink in despite the condition Higashiyama was in. He was quiet and looked rather crestfallen. Kondo had a too big heart, everyone knew that. He just couldn’t be mad at his this man. He leaned over resting on his hands.
“Sorry... I know you had to...” Closeness like this was usually enough for them; when they got to work together, when they were together at a bar or anywhere. It had somehow been enough for all these years but right at that moment it wasn’t.
Higashiyama reached to touch Kondo’s cheek. He wasn’t at all sure what he was doing but suddenly having him sit there wasn’t bringing him quite the satisfaction it should have.
The sad loving look Kondo gave him almost tore his already half-frozen heart into pieces and Higashi wished that he wouldn’t be able to remember that look in the morning. Kondo wrapped his fingers around Higashi’s and held the hand for a while before pressing a kiss on his palm. He laid it back down on the younger man’s chest and then looked a little embarrassed. But Higashi squeezed his hand tightly against his chest.
“Higashi... I think I should go and you should sleep.” Kondo said in a voice that sounded strained. He had to pry the younger man’s fingers from his hand. He looked rather pained after that but at least Higashi wasn’t the type to start crying. He never had, not over Matchy or anyone. He would never cry.
“I’ll sleep... good night, Matchy.” He mumbled and turned around. His former lover waited for a while with a troubled expression and then covered his dear with the expensive looking silken sheets in his bed. He was already asleep or, probably, passed out.
“I love you...” He said it like a sad fact of life instead of a confession of his feelings. He left the younger man and went to his kitchen. It wasn’t hard to tear himself away from the sight of him sleeping since he was quite used to doing it during these years already. It wasn’t the first time he’d put him to bed drunk. Luckily, he could usually leave it to one of his boys.
He noticed a pile of photos on the kitchen table when he passed it on his way out and decided to be curious instead and walked over to the table.
“Higashi...” He said quietly and spread the photos of them and other boys of those times around the table to have a proper look.
He remembered Nicky had gotten a camera for his birthday present and he had photographed anything, especially the two of them since they apparently were so photogenic. There were photos of them dancing, eating, at school and in the dormitories. There was also a photo of Higashiyama and him in the bathroom, with him washing the younger man’s back. Though he could remember Higashi throwing his washing basin at Nicky when he’d seen him there with the camera. The other man had been a nuisance back then with the camera but now he thought it had been a good thing, too. They had their memories but they were getting vague as years went by and the photos helped to remember those times. He preferred not to think what would happen if the public got a hold of them. There were plenty of photos Nicky had taken without them ever knowing when they had thought they were alone. He wondered how Higashiyama even had got all of them.
There were photos of Nakai and Higashi together too. He wasn’t so used to hanging out with the SMAP members and TOKIO as Higashiyama was. He really didn’t know them that personally. He had had his own place and Higashiyama was there often enough at those times.
He was a little surprised to find a photo of Nakai asleep in Higashiyama’s bed with the older man holding his head in his lap and caressing his hair. For some reason he turned the photo around. On the back it read: ‘Do you even remember Matchy any more?’ He suspected it was Nicky who had written it but he didn’t know why.
There was a wooden box close to the edge of the table. He picked it up and opened it, he knew he probably shouldn’t have but he doubted Higashi had many secrets from him. There was a simple chain with a key on it. He sighed knowing full well what that key would open. He didn’t know if he should be happy or very upset about the other man keeping it. But what they had was too weird to try and find a reasonable explanation for, anyway.
He put the chain back, and the photos with it, and closed the box. He cleaned the bottle away and went to check on Higashiyama one last time. He was still asleep so Kondo turned off the lights and left.
The next morning Matchy arrived at work a little late. He wasn’t really looking forward on working in Higashi’s office alone with the younger man all day. The other man didn’t even look up from his papers when he arrived.
“You are late, Matchy. 35 minutes and 45 seconds. I hope you weren’t with some woman all night.” Kondo raised an eyebrow at that.
“No... why do you care?” It was odd for Higashi to mention women like that. He almost seemed jealous, that was, of course, if you knew where to look. He was extremely good at hiding his emotions. He had been with Higashi all night and not with women, anyway.
“I just don’t want it to affect your work. We have auditions tomorrow. I hope you are prepared.” Matchy didn’t believe a word of the explanation but he sat down on the sofa and took his laptop.
“Are you feeling better after drinking so much last night?” The older man asked suddenly, a little curious if the younger one actually remembered anything of it. It turned out he did not.
“How do you know what I did last night?!” It was rather unnatural for Higashiyama to act so freaked out. Though even when he did, he merely raised his eyebrows and his eyes got a little wider.
“You called me and begged me to come over. Don’t you remember?” Now Higashi looked almost flushed, at least to Kondo. Most people wouldn’t have noticed a thing. He couldn’t help smiling and said with a soft voice: “Oh, forget about it. You were quite drunk and nothing happened.” Kondo was quite enjoying himself when the usually extremely controlled Higashiyama Noriyuki was looking so nervous and shaken. He arranged some pile of papers then got up and came to sit next to his friend. It would been better to sit further away in this situation but the older man was pleased when Higashi just sat close enough for their shoulders to brush.
“Now, here are the boys auditioning. We should have a look at them all before tomorrow and take out those who will be no good. We will save lot of time that way. It'll take all week long, otherwise.”
This was how they worked all day; just the of them, though occasionally someone would come over but no one stayed for long. Higashi made a few calls too but besides that it was just them together, enjoying the only kind of closeness they could have. It was a little sad but they were happier than completely apart and even the small, innocent touches like their shoulders brushing together or their hands touching were able to bring some warmth into their hearts. They both knew there was never going to be anything more and made the most of the time they had.
- End -