she said, sometimes i feel like shit
sometimes i want to quit
and just be normal for a bit
So life isn't working out so horribly after all. Last week I worked just six shifts at the OG and made around $460.00, which is WONDERFUL because now I can actually afford to pay my college tuition.
Speaking of college, it starts on Monday. I can't wait to kill myself with frenetic activity and long car drives. Goodie! It helps that I'm going to be in college full time and working full time!
Erik and I are well, our 5-month anniversary is this Friday. I think he's buying me presents. That's not a rare occasion (he bought me a brand new bowl recently) but it's definitely appreciated. I hate spending money on myself. I feel tremendous guilt afterwards. The mall is sheer torture. Going out to eat is a waste.
I obsess about money. That's because my life has been so unfulfilling for so long (only recently has it improved) that money symbolizes SECURITY to me. It's my safety net.
Also, I keep on losing weight even though I don't think about it much anymore. People tell me I can't get any thinner and then I do and they yell at me, but I swear to God, I eat what I want when I'm hungry. I'm just not hungry very much. I'm not throwing up or starving myself on purpose or exercising or anything, but the numbers get lower... and lower...
I guess that's all for now. I went to a pretty cool party last night. I know it was cool because the cops showed up, but no one got arrested and they didn't even break into the house.
and just be normal for a bit
So life isn't working out so horribly after all. Last week I worked just six shifts at the OG and made around $460.00, which is WONDERFUL because now I can actually afford to pay my college tuition.
Speaking of college, it starts on Monday. I can't wait to kill myself with frenetic activity and long car drives. Goodie! It helps that I'm going to be in college full time and working full time!
Erik and I are well, our 5-month anniversary is this Friday. I think he's buying me presents. That's not a rare occasion (he bought me a brand new bowl recently) but it's definitely appreciated. I hate spending money on myself. I feel tremendous guilt afterwards. The mall is sheer torture. Going out to eat is a waste.
I obsess about money. That's because my life has been so unfulfilling for so long (only recently has it improved) that money symbolizes SECURITY to me. It's my safety net.
Also, I keep on losing weight even though I don't think about it much anymore. People tell me I can't get any thinner and then I do and they yell at me, but I swear to God, I eat what I want when I'm hungry. I'm just not hungry very much. I'm not throwing up or starving myself on purpose or exercising or anything, but the numbers get lower... and lower...
I guess that's all for now. I went to a pretty cool party last night. I know it was cool because the cops showed up, but no one got arrested and they didn't even break into the house.