Uhh during your assignments you sometimes go YEAHONE-WINGEDANGELATTACK~!! followed by OMGEVERYTHINGGOINGWRONG! ^^; Let's see, first one I recall is Versailles, then a bit of problem with colour pencils, then the acrylic (canvas problem? Gesso problem? Both?), kuroshitsuji had some composition problems too, uhh, I don't recall the rest ^^;
I don't mind giving advice, since the better an artist you are the more folks will flock to our CF doujin table XD; But sometimes I think you listen to us too much and completely turn a deaf ear to your tutors or something. I don't know, some of this stuff I'm SURE your tutors can solve/did teach you, otherwise how do you think I made it through the entire illo course? My entire stock of knowledge came from listening to my lecturers/tutors, especially when they give critique, I'm not sure what is so different about your course and mine ^^; We even had the same lecturers, and I'm not just talking about temperamental KS.
And I feel like you look down on your classpeeps a bit too much, maybe because you have two seniors looking over your shoulders so you think you're higher than everyone. You *can* learn from your classpeeps too, you know. You went back to TOA not to show everybody up, but rather to learn painting techniques, right? Sometimes if you see someone has a nice painting, compliment them on it. If you see they made a nice effect, ask them how they did it. Sad to say, neither me nor cons were the best in our class at all, so our advice *is* flawed.
But anyways, the key point is, try not set overly high goals to save yourself the stress. You're not superman, you have several subjects that you need to spread your resources out over so don't pick the kind of painting that needs all your waking hours to complete, because you have to do other assignments too.
Hope you enjoy your new sem, and try to learn as much about your medium as you can (from your tutors/lecturers, ok, not from us XD )
Re: long lecturetanlammyJanuary 26 2011, 16:02:27 UTC
When I first saw the title in my email I braced myself for the worst ^^;
I went to reread the past entries I've posted and saw that with a disturbed realization, that whatever I'd had in mind for each work, ended up haphazardly as something else. There's only a few that were emo posts IMO but the rest were mostly the OMGEVERYTHINGGOINGWRONG! quality (esp. the acrylic on canvas one.)
Which meant at this stage, in this entry, when I wrote, "I wanna do me an Andrew Jones", my words hit me back in the face to say that I *still* have not learnt my lessons, because I will yet put myself through another grueling 2-3 weeks of sleepless nights and then go on a guilt trip when things don't turn out well.
After much mulling, I can only deduce that: I wanted to see how far I can go, but I neglect my limitations, and I thought I could do everything but in the end the results/outcome proved me otherwise (because time ran out and the quality suffered due to it).
In other words, it seemed I've been deluding myself and that I've actually lost my direction - esp. the bit about learning from others, sharing, etc. I remembered 1st year 3rd term entering the class - and realized that I've become different from the same person who first entered the major in that term.
Suddenly it's like being back in ID - trying to outdo everyone else. Which does not work in IL --- I've known long ago IL is about sharing+learning from others, but it looks like I had totally forgot about this important belief because I got carried away. By my perfectionist pride, or superiority complex, I know the fault lies in me.
I realized this just this morning, as I held myself back from an unwanted outburst as I watch some of them preserve their artwork with the seal-spray. Those 4 had gotten the better grades whereas the rest of us got C+ and below --- even as the rest of us slough for 2 weeks with much broken-airbrush problems, and those 4 seemed to have it so easy.
But in truth, there are not to be blamed. Only my mindset.
So actually, the long lecture above, helped to point out that I've strayed too far, and it's time to come back.
I did listen to my tutors/lecturers, but the last few terms when I got burned (by Woodstump in CCD) and then I got mislead badly (in acrylic-canvas colours), It's like, I'm starting to lose faith in the tutors/lecturers, and there were times I actually felt dubious and doubting their teaching ability. I already have had a very bad beginning for acrylic-on-canvas, and I didn’t want to get into more trouble in the next few classes (gesso, mixed-media), and so I find I had to rely mostly on what I can find from the library (which is not much), and from what you and Cons learned in your batch last time.
BUT not all is lost - there's some good people like CK, Lip Wei, and now Leo and Ivan who helps to point me to the right direction (though of course, it’s not enough.) Sure, I'm slow since I still make the same mistakes in the beginning but at least I know I'm on the right track and getting somewhere.
Since I've been with this class over a year, I know who's good in what, and it's from these few I usually ask them for help/advice wherever I find myself stuck in some assignment. Last few terms, I find there was greater sharing among us, but over time, as mentioned above, my mindset went back to its old ways - and I now know I have to change that, because it's dangerous.
I admit, your reply had me taken aback (feels like a shock wake-up call haha...), but I know it’s for my own good. Thanks for the lecture :) and thanks for bringing it up, know that it’s been put to good use. I think if you hadn’t brought this up, I would have continued deluding myself that all things are fine until shit hits the fan (again) during the process, and then you’ll hear me ranting all over in Lj until the end =w=; So thank you :)
S'kay, I'm setting myself limitations according to my abilities+timeframe, and I want to bring back the habit of learning from others and open-sharing :)
I don't mind giving advice, since the better an artist you are the more folks will flock to our CF doujin table XD; But sometimes I think you listen to us too much and completely turn a deaf ear to your tutors or something. I don't know, some of this stuff I'm SURE your tutors can solve/did teach you, otherwise how do you think I made it through the entire illo course? My entire stock of knowledge came from listening to my lecturers/tutors, especially when they give critique, I'm not sure what is so different about your course and mine ^^; We even had the same lecturers, and I'm not just talking about temperamental KS.
And I feel like you look down on your classpeeps a bit too much, maybe because you have two seniors looking over your shoulders so you think you're higher than everyone. You *can* learn from your classpeeps too, you know. You went back to TOA not to show everybody up, but rather to learn painting techniques, right? Sometimes if you see someone has a nice painting, compliment them on it. If you see they made a nice effect, ask them how they did it. Sad to say, neither me nor cons were the best in our class at all, so our advice *is* flawed.
But anyways, the key point is, try not set overly high goals to save yourself the stress. You're not superman, you have several subjects that you need to spread your resources out over so don't pick the kind of painting that needs all your waking hours to complete, because you have to do other assignments too.
Hope you enjoy your new sem, and try to learn as much about your medium as you can (from your tutors/lecturers, ok, not from us XD )
Reply
I went to reread the past entries I've posted and saw that with a disturbed realization, that whatever I'd had in mind for each work, ended up haphazardly as something else. There's only a few that were emo posts IMO but the rest were mostly the OMGEVERYTHINGGOINGWRONG! quality (esp. the acrylic on canvas one.)
Which meant at this stage, in this entry, when I wrote, "I wanna do me an Andrew Jones", my words hit me back in the face to say that I *still* have not learnt my lessons, because I will yet put myself through another grueling 2-3 weeks of sleepless nights and then go on a guilt trip when things don't turn out well.
After much mulling, I can only deduce that: I wanted to see how far I can go, but I neglect my limitations, and I thought I could do everything but in the end the results/outcome proved me otherwise (because time ran out and the quality suffered due to it).
In other words, it seemed I've been deluding myself
and that I've actually lost my direction - esp. the bit about learning from others, sharing, etc.
I remembered 1st year 3rd term entering the class
- and realized that I've become different from the same person who first entered the major in that term.
Suddenly it's like being back in ID - trying to outdo everyone else.
Which does not work in IL --- I've known long ago IL is about sharing+learning from others, but it looks like I had totally forgot about this important belief because I got carried away. By my perfectionist pride, or superiority complex, I know the fault lies in me.
I realized this just this morning, as I held myself back from an unwanted outburst as I watch some of them preserve their artwork with the seal-spray. Those 4 had gotten the better grades whereas the rest of us got C+ and below --- even as the rest of us slough for 2 weeks with much broken-airbrush problems, and those 4 seemed to have it so easy.
But in truth, there are not to be blamed. Only my mindset.
So actually, the long lecture above, helped to point out that
I've strayed too far, and it's time to come back.
I did listen to my tutors/lecturers, but the last few terms when I got burned (by Woodstump in CCD) and then I got mislead badly (in acrylic-canvas colours), It's like, I'm starting to lose faith in the tutors/lecturers, and there were times I actually felt dubious and doubting their teaching ability. I already have had a very bad beginning for acrylic-on-canvas, and I didn’t want to get into more trouble in the next few classes (gesso, mixed-media), and so I find I had to rely mostly on what I can find from the library (which is not much), and from what you and Cons learned in your batch last time.
BUT not all is lost - there's some good people like CK, Lip Wei, and now Leo and Ivan who helps to point me to the right direction (though of course, it’s not enough.) Sure, I'm slow since I still make the same mistakes in the beginning but at least I know I'm on the right track and getting somewhere.
Since I've been with this class over a year, I know who's good in what, and it's from these few I usually ask them for help/advice wherever I find myself stuck in some assignment. Last few terms, I find there was greater sharing among us, but over time, as mentioned above, my mindset went back to its old ways - and I now know I have to change that, because it's dangerous.
I admit, your reply had me taken aback (feels like a shock wake-up call haha...), but I know it’s for my own good. Thanks for the lecture :) and thanks for bringing it up, know that it’s been put to good use. I think if you hadn’t brought this up, I would have continued deluding myself that all things are fine until shit hits the fan (again) during the process, and then you’ll hear me ranting all over in Lj until the end =w=; So thank you :)
S'kay, I'm setting myself limitations according to my abilities+timeframe, and I want to bring back the habit of learning from others and open-sharing :)
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Gonna be posting the airbrush assignments in the next entry :D
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