cry me a river
I woke up with puffy eyes, and good thing I didn't have work today or else, everyone would be curious. If my pseudo mommy asks, "What happened?" I can joke and say the Mexicans rejected me and went after my sister, which is partly true. I should have bet with my sister $50 during after new-year's eve "argument" and I would have won. I said that the person that I am interested in is more interested in her, and not me, and she denies it. Well, I told her that time will tell, and it didn't take long before the Headless Horseman messaged her and chatted with her. My sister thinks that I just don't check my msn and email so I don't know if either of them messaged me. I told her I'm not going every hour to check on them, but she bugged me enough, that to satisfy her curiosity, I did and told her, nope, there are no wires coming across.
Well, she still believes she could not turn people on just by sitting there, but I tell her that she's exuding pheromones left and right that every guy who passes by her would be attracted immediately. I think it's a good thing though that I brought her to the party so at least I know. I should try to do that, bring her along my dates so I would know before hand if they are just "settling" for me until they could find better/prettier partners. At least, it saves me the trouble of dating them, and bringing them home after having a relationship with them, and find out that they have the hots for my sister.
I know my sister would just say I'm being ridiculous, but it's not. The guys I was trying to hook up with during the summer to get over a certain person ended up asking for my sister. Which made me frustrated and sad as well. Of course, I didn't tell her about it because I did not want to admit that fact that my sister is a more engaging personality than I am. She even told the Headless Horseman at the party that I am more boring, how wacky is that? It goes to show my plans are shot, and I am heading towards spinsterhood.
So I'm crying about my sad state of affairs, and I realize the fact that I'll never end up marrying a guy with good intentions, not marrying me because of my family's money, because of desperation, because of arrangement, because of my sister.
But I'm mostly sad that I think the three of us would not bring any in-laws to the fold soon, because my brother is pining for the same girl for 7 years, my sister pining for the same guy for 4 months, and me pining for 8 months, and the fact that we may never get over ourselves pining, and it's not for the lack of trying. I tried so hard getting myself out there, but I haven't an interest in most of them - even though they may have, but the guys that I do potentially like - well, they are the ones who don't like me - said, sorry, but I think your sister is way hotter than you are.
I'm tired, really tired of all this emotional heartache that last night I prayed for a one-way ticket to the land of happiness, and never to come back again. But I realize that my purpose on earth is to take care of my family, to see them safe and happy, and if that be so, then so be it. I have resigned to take on my task, and I am indeed blessed that at least, I have a family to take care of, that they are not washed away by the tsunami in Asia and for that, I will be eternally grateful.
Well, she still believes she could not turn people on just by sitting there, but I tell her that she's exuding pheromones left and right that every guy who passes by her would be attracted immediately. I think it's a good thing though that I brought her to the party so at least I know. I should try to do that, bring her along my dates so I would know before hand if they are just "settling" for me until they could find better/prettier partners. At least, it saves me the trouble of dating them, and bringing them home after having a relationship with them, and find out that they have the hots for my sister.
I know my sister would just say I'm being ridiculous, but it's not. The guys I was trying to hook up with during the summer to get over a certain person ended up asking for my sister. Which made me frustrated and sad as well. Of course, I didn't tell her about it because I did not want to admit that fact that my sister is a more engaging personality than I am. She even told the Headless Horseman at the party that I am more boring, how wacky is that? It goes to show my plans are shot, and I am heading towards spinsterhood.
So I'm crying about my sad state of affairs, and I realize the fact that I'll never end up marrying a guy with good intentions, not marrying me because of my family's money, because of desperation, because of arrangement, because of my sister.
But I'm mostly sad that I think the three of us would not bring any in-laws to the fold soon, because my brother is pining for the same girl for 7 years, my sister pining for the same guy for 4 months, and me pining for 8 months, and the fact that we may never get over ourselves pining, and it's not for the lack of trying. I tried so hard getting myself out there, but I haven't an interest in most of them - even though they may have, but the guys that I do potentially like - well, they are the ones who don't like me - said, sorry, but I think your sister is way hotter than you are.
I'm tired, really tired of all this emotional heartache that last night I prayed for a one-way ticket to the land of happiness, and never to come back again. But I realize that my purpose on earth is to take care of my family, to see them safe and happy, and if that be so, then so be it. I have resigned to take on my task, and I am indeed blessed that at least, I have a family to take care of, that they are not washed away by the tsunami in Asia and for that, I will be eternally grateful.