bridge over trouble water
I feel so stupid at work, a loser and a dork and an idiot all combined into one, that's me. My boss seems frustrated with me because she couldn't understand what I'm saying, or rather I'm communicating rather ineffectively. But the thing is, I'm asking questions that need to be answered or else I'm gonna be screwed in the long run. Better be dumb now than later.
And in the end, I find out it's because they don't see the problems in the foreseeable future. It's like with my old work, my bosses always say that I'm always jumping ahead of myself. That I'm too much of a worrywart. But I'd really like to envision the problems an action could cause before it stares at me right in the face. I'd rather see the cliff 10 paces before I'm reaching it, than to step near the cliff where there is less room to turn. I could still find an alternate way to go if I know 10 paces prior that ahead of me there's a cliff. I would not have wasted time on that road when I know there is a dead end. I'd rather get moving along and feeling my way to a solution that is workable for everybody until it's too darn late to do anything about it! It's like crocheting. I'd like to weave a solid foundation, a solid base before heading into a middle and just have it a mess in the end.
The thing is I get blamed by my bosses when the problem arises. They will say that I didn't tell them beforehand, but I actually did a month prior but they just don't want to deal with it then when the problem was not as big. My bosses always tell me: "We'll cross the bridge when we get there." But what if there's no bridge, then how can you get across? Hmmmm? Some people won't use the map even when it's available. That's how stubborn some people are.
Or in most cases, they don't believe me. They seem to want to wait until the problem gets really huge and it's harder to backtrack and fix the problem. They're probably thinking I don't know what I'm doing. Fine, tell me then. I'm okay with being wrong, being dumb. Just don't tell me I didn't tell you so.
Oh yeah. So today, I was trying to explain to my boss and team something. They were planning to harp on people in another dept. because there's a lot of problems with a project that we are all working on. The thing is, I don't want my boss to look like a fool for going into a battle unprepared, and have her take it out on us if things get bad. So for the sake of the team, I asked stupid questions just to make sure, that we are clear on everything. That nothing gets missed or misunderstood. Then they tried to figure out what I'm saying. They make it so that I'm dumb. Finally, my boss more or less got my drift but she got upset about the problems with I pointed out to her, problems that our team could have controlled but didn't.
Then she tells us why no one told her about it. But I've warned her a week ago but either she forgot, or just didn't take me seriously (I was new to the job-just started 3 days ago and I'm already causing trouble!) But of course, I didn't mention that I already told her. I didn't want to come off us smug or something, not good ever whether you are old or a new employee to make people feel stupid or responsible for mistakes (even their own). Never assign blame. That's my policy. They may do it to me but I try to steer away from making other people look bad (even when I'm already at odds with the person - like from my old work). I believe I have good work ethic and tact. Even though it might not seem fair, that I work doubly hard, don't get paid as much as the next lazy person, and still get flak for "doing the right thing" (I believe there never is a "right thing" that I can do when some people want to call a heart a spade), as long as I know I've done my best and did my work, I can live with my conscience.
My teammates think I'm fussy and stupid that I would "rat" us out. But I'm thinking that it's better that some person on our team pointed our glaring mistakes, than have my boss go in a meeting and argue with people in other dept. and have that dept. point our own mistakes. It would be more humiliating, like harping on someone about their problems when we couldn't deal even with ours. At least this way, we can have control over our project if we can see the problems in front of us, rather than have them bite us in the ass.
Anyway, so many office politics. And it's not that I don't do what I'm told. But I think I can think of a more efficient way of doing things, save everybody time and energy pouring over things that aren't necessary and neglecting things that are important. Somebody needs to get priorities straight. And with work, I'd like to be prepared, cover all the bases before something slips out of my control. If my teammates and boss think of me as a trouble maker, so be it. If I don't mention foreseeable problems, who would? If it's something I don't have to worry about, then fine, I'd sleep better. I just don't want to keep mum about things, and months later, regret not having said something in the first place when things aren't as complicated. I don't like to be deep in the project, plowing away time and energy and just to have it fall apart because we didn't solve something we should have in the very beginning. Not good to have things blow up in your face.
And in the end, I find out it's because they don't see the problems in the foreseeable future. It's like with my old work, my bosses always say that I'm always jumping ahead of myself. That I'm too much of a worrywart. But I'd really like to envision the problems an action could cause before it stares at me right in the face. I'd rather see the cliff 10 paces before I'm reaching it, than to step near the cliff where there is less room to turn. I could still find an alternate way to go if I know 10 paces prior that ahead of me there's a cliff. I would not have wasted time on that road when I know there is a dead end. I'd rather get moving along and feeling my way to a solution that is workable for everybody until it's too darn late to do anything about it! It's like crocheting. I'd like to weave a solid foundation, a solid base before heading into a middle and just have it a mess in the end.
The thing is I get blamed by my bosses when the problem arises. They will say that I didn't tell them beforehand, but I actually did a month prior but they just don't want to deal with it then when the problem was not as big. My bosses always tell me: "We'll cross the bridge when we get there." But what if there's no bridge, then how can you get across? Hmmmm? Some people won't use the map even when it's available. That's how stubborn some people are.
Or in most cases, they don't believe me. They seem to want to wait until the problem gets really huge and it's harder to backtrack and fix the problem. They're probably thinking I don't know what I'm doing. Fine, tell me then. I'm okay with being wrong, being dumb. Just don't tell me I didn't tell you so.
Oh yeah. So today, I was trying to explain to my boss and team something. They were planning to harp on people in another dept. because there's a lot of problems with a project that we are all working on. The thing is, I don't want my boss to look like a fool for going into a battle unprepared, and have her take it out on us if things get bad. So for the sake of the team, I asked stupid questions just to make sure, that we are clear on everything. That nothing gets missed or misunderstood. Then they tried to figure out what I'm saying. They make it so that I'm dumb. Finally, my boss more or less got my drift but she got upset about the problems with I pointed out to her, problems that our team could have controlled but didn't.
Then she tells us why no one told her about it. But I've warned her a week ago but either she forgot, or just didn't take me seriously (I was new to the job-just started 3 days ago and I'm already causing trouble!) But of course, I didn't mention that I already told her. I didn't want to come off us smug or something, not good ever whether you are old or a new employee to make people feel stupid or responsible for mistakes (even their own). Never assign blame. That's my policy. They may do it to me but I try to steer away from making other people look bad (even when I'm already at odds with the person - like from my old work). I believe I have good work ethic and tact. Even though it might not seem fair, that I work doubly hard, don't get paid as much as the next lazy person, and still get flak for "doing the right thing" (I believe there never is a "right thing" that I can do when some people want to call a heart a spade), as long as I know I've done my best and did my work, I can live with my conscience.
My teammates think I'm fussy and stupid that I would "rat" us out. But I'm thinking that it's better that some person on our team pointed our glaring mistakes, than have my boss go in a meeting and argue with people in other dept. and have that dept. point our own mistakes. It would be more humiliating, like harping on someone about their problems when we couldn't deal even with ours. At least this way, we can have control over our project if we can see the problems in front of us, rather than have them bite us in the ass.
Anyway, so many office politics. And it's not that I don't do what I'm told. But I think I can think of a more efficient way of doing things, save everybody time and energy pouring over things that aren't necessary and neglecting things that are important. Somebody needs to get priorities straight. And with work, I'd like to be prepared, cover all the bases before something slips out of my control. If my teammates and boss think of me as a trouble maker, so be it. If I don't mention foreseeable problems, who would? If it's something I don't have to worry about, then fine, I'd sleep better. I just don't want to keep mum about things, and months later, regret not having said something in the first place when things aren't as complicated. I don't like to be deep in the project, plowing away time and energy and just to have it fall apart because we didn't solve something we should have in the very beginning. Not good to have things blow up in your face.