tanky's not-so-breaking news
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Headline: Tanky finally gets off her seat, job-hunting process stalls temporarily.
Last week, Tanky Toon went into an interview (almost got the hang of the process without nauseating prior meeting) and bluffed her way through for the job she thought she couldn't get, because it didn't matter to her as much as the copywriting one she went to a couple weeks before (she was bummed about it but figured either she wasn't a good enough ad writer or she was just a sight for sore eyes). For the first time after an interview, Tanky did not write a follow-up thank you letter. That afternoon, however, she received a call telling her to get off her bed and start pumping gas. A similar circumstance occurred months before, when Tanky's brother did not write a follow-up thank you letter after the last interview he had before receiving his own call from the Job God.
So, if out of habit, Tanky and Tanky's brother always send a thank-you-for-shaking-my-wet-hand letter to prospective slave masters and they don't get the all-important call, but instead get the pat-on-the-back when they don't....does this mean something? Maybe their thank-you's then sounded too desperate. That could also be a turn off. But what's done is done. Tanky's brother followed his non-existent thank-you-for-the-interview letter, with an existent one, pretending it was delayed by the gone-postal courier who bombed the loo before sending it off with a pigeon. Tanky, on the other hand, was too relieved and also too nervous to do anything but sit on her big fat non-existent ass for days.
Tanky is not jumping up for joy yet. It's only contract. But Tanky figures that lifting fingers at work is better than counting ants at home.
Related story: Tanky reads Dummies.
An excitably nervous-wreck Tanky horded the library this week for books like "Dress Smart, Not Dork: How to Blend in a Business Office Environment Without Looking Like a Loser" and "Cease that Curry! Food You Should Avoid Bringing for Lunch at an Open Office Where People with Plastic Forks Could Poke Your Eyes Out." She also ventured into the aisle where all the Microsoft Manuals were because come Wednesday, Tanky will become Tanky Turkey if she can't stuff it up to the bluff.
Foreign News: Tanky gets Friendster'd
After a long hiatus from Friendster, Tanky roamed about the site searching for long lost poodles. Tanky browsed several recognizable culprits from way back, looked at their poodlets-to-poodle pictures and reminisced with mouse on one hand, and milk on the other. One poodle in particular came from the United States of Amistad, Tanky's classmate from the old days (15 yrs ago), whose parents happen to contact Tanky's parents a couple of months ago to hook their poodle and Tanky up - as in to make a match made in the zoo. This poodle, along with a couple of other poodles from the same school, Friendster'd Tanky, to Tanky's calculated shock, more so because Tanky's been recognized. It goes to show that when you flash on Friendster, somebody will stand up.
Related Story: Tanky's Un-Hooking the Bait
Tanky's best friend, Pretty Lady, sees romance in Tanky's air, this despite that only one or two general E-line passed through Tanky's waves from the poodle. Pretty sees a Zap, but Tanky thinks of it more like an E-Zing. Is there such a thing as "Love at First Type"? Pretty hopes so, Tanky says....Na-uh! Pretty's thinking of baby names for Tanky and the American Pup, when Tanky's thinking how she can hide her horns and tail from the poodle community. Who needs everlasting love when you can have a good *u*k (Pigeon) or two or three or plenty? (Note from Censors: We respect the rights of the Virgin-eyed & -eared not to view obscene materials. We can say "Pigeon", instead.)
Financial News: Tanky's Stock Dips Down, Forecast Looks Bleak
Official business matters required Tanky to procure further enhancements to her ward-dump, amassing $70.12 (tax inclusive) over the course of the week. At least, that's her excuse (rather than a grave illness) for a 2-piece business suit, 2 blouses & 1 pair of dress pants.
That's a $534.77 (tax inclusive) chip off the old block for: 2 prs. of shoes, 1 pc. of outdoor jacket, 2 bras, a dozen undies, 1 pc. of dress, 3 prs. of dress pants, 2 casual shirts, 4 casual tops, 4 business dress short tops, 9 long-sleeved blouses, 2 sweaters, 4 casual skirts, 6 dress skirts and a 2-pc. business suit. Now if Tanky could be like her brother, she would let her parents chip for her wardrobe dysfunction. But she's not. Last summer, the parental units bought Tanky's brother a 2-pc. business suit at $300 and some $20-$40 shirts to go along with it so he could be prepared for the business work environment. Tanky did not quite have that luxury, which makes her humble and grateful and even more frugal when shopping. Instead of a $300/2-pc. suit, she settled for $30/2-pc. suit. A zero less means a whole lot.
What kills Tanky though is shelling for dry cleaning. She did, however, drag herself to the cleaners last week for the first time because of a bad experience before, when Tanky the bean-counter decided to hand-wash her expensive (meaning triple digit) pea coat ($100-ish) because a klutz spilled grape juice on it, and almost destroyed the shape of the coat. Not risking a chance to do the same to her other pieces of 2nd-hand business suits, she marched down the counter and shelled $15 to have them dry-cleaned and hemmed. Tanky is miffed because of her own stupidity, realizing she should have spent that $5-ish bucks to dry clean the coat in exchange for a peace of mind. Especially for expensive stuff. Tanky maybe should follow her uncle's example who bought at least seven 2-pc. suits in order to save dry-cleaning money. He rotates wearing the suits and just changes the inner shirt and have them dry cleaned once per season. As long as people don't smell the rotten eggs under her arms, Tanky figures that she can get away safely without throwing her other stuff to the cleaners.
Related Story: Tanky Cash-Strappy over the Long Weekend
It's almost thanksgiving, and Tanky has tons of preparations to do and tons of cash to give away to parties and to her brother. Tanky is currently having the dilemma of choosing a worthy gift (over-thought it must be, as family tradition) for her one and only brother. It must be a) practical b) meaningful c) not too cheap d) not too expensive e) can stand the test of time f) cannot fade and break g) appropriate h) symbolize something about the receiver's character, personality i) related to the field of the receiver's life. These standards of picking a worthy gift is laid out by none other the man himself, Tanky's brother.
What do you give a man who has expensive and particular taste without breaking your bank? Tanky has an idea that might or might not fly. You see, Tanky's brother lost so many things in the course of the year. So her idea is to replace one of them. But how? It is nearly impossible as half a year ago, we called all the suppliers locally and internationally and they all said the same thing: the item is no longer in production, and it has been liquidated. Now Tanky saw at the mall something similar to the said lost item, but knowing her brother's philosophy of "not settling for second best," it was rather a moot point to get him something that looks similar but not quite the real thing.
Tanky tentatively decides to get the said thing anyway, if she can't think of something else, and just get a gift receipt and if Tanky's brother doesn't like it, he could always exchange or get the money back instead. This is good for Tanky, saves her from over-frying her brain and lets her stay away from the mall. Besides, she figures why put so much effort when she knows she gets nothing in return on her birthday. But giving is not about hoping that you will receive something back; it is about giving without any expectations and ulterior motives aside from making the person happy. And Tanky wants to make people happy. She's a people pleaser. If Tanky is making millions, she would have given her brother a condo, a state-of-the-art computer and a sports car for his birthday. But she's not. He'd have to settle for the wheel.
Health News: Dieting Tanky needs Panky.
Discipline is the most important thing: with it, you can achieve everything, as long as you put your mind to it; without it, well, just ask Tanky. She would tell you that what she lacks is discipline (and motivation, and ambition, among other things, but that's another story). She tells herself that if only she could exercise an hour a day (everyday of the week), it can make her tummy go away (maybe in 10 yrs). Last week, she found that she doesn't enjoy exercising (she falls asleep on the floor while doing just 2 minutes of crunches) as much as she enjoys dancing. So dancing it is! If her aunt danced and dieted her way to a sexy small size, Tanky figured she could too! Tanky's auntie was maybe 2 sizes larger than Tanky before she danced up a storm, now she's 2 sizes smaller than Tank! How amazing!
The pounds and inches that Tanky gained over the course of last week ("who's that pig?" entry) were lost again and some more. Hence, also the need for new wardrobe, as when Tanky went to the interview with her lone interview pants with blazer she bought just this January, the pants were slipping off her butt and Tanky had to tie the pants with a makeshift suspender. It goes to show that Pigeon-ing works wonders Here's proof.
Weather News: Mainly Sunny, Sometimes Cloudy
Forecast for the week: Bouts of Nervousness. Rocky and Unsteady hands at work. Malfunctioning Brain. Darting Eyes. For Tanky, it's like going to her first day of school all over again. Eegads!
Headline: Tanky finally gets off her seat, job-hunting process stalls temporarily.
Last week, Tanky Toon went into an interview (almost got the hang of the process without nauseating prior meeting) and bluffed her way through for the job she thought she couldn't get, because it didn't matter to her as much as the copywriting one she went to a couple weeks before (she was bummed about it but figured either she wasn't a good enough ad writer or she was just a sight for sore eyes). For the first time after an interview, Tanky did not write a follow-up thank you letter. That afternoon, however, she received a call telling her to get off her bed and start pumping gas. A similar circumstance occurred months before, when Tanky's brother did not write a follow-up thank you letter after the last interview he had before receiving his own call from the Job God.
So, if out of habit, Tanky and Tanky's brother always send a thank-you-for-shaking-my-wet-hand letter to prospective slave masters and they don't get the all-important call, but instead get the pat-on-the-back when they don't....does this mean something? Maybe their thank-you's then sounded too desperate. That could also be a turn off. But what's done is done. Tanky's brother followed his non-existent thank-you-for-the-interview letter, with an existent one, pretending it was delayed by the gone-postal courier who bombed the loo before sending it off with a pigeon. Tanky, on the other hand, was too relieved and also too nervous to do anything but sit on her big fat non-existent ass for days.
Tanky is not jumping up for joy yet. It's only contract. But Tanky figures that lifting fingers at work is better than counting ants at home.
Related story: Tanky reads Dummies.
An excitably nervous-wreck Tanky horded the library this week for books like "Dress Smart, Not Dork: How to Blend in a Business Office Environment Without Looking Like a Loser" and "Cease that Curry! Food You Should Avoid Bringing for Lunch at an Open Office Where People with Plastic Forks Could Poke Your Eyes Out." She also ventured into the aisle where all the Microsoft Manuals were because come Wednesday, Tanky will become Tanky Turkey if she can't stuff it up to the bluff.
Foreign News: Tanky gets Friendster'd
After a long hiatus from Friendster, Tanky roamed about the site searching for long lost poodles. Tanky browsed several recognizable culprits from way back, looked at their poodlets-to-poodle pictures and reminisced with mouse on one hand, and milk on the other. One poodle in particular came from the United States of Amistad, Tanky's classmate from the old days (15 yrs ago), whose parents happen to contact Tanky's parents a couple of months ago to hook their poodle and Tanky up - as in to make a match made in the zoo. This poodle, along with a couple of other poodles from the same school, Friendster'd Tanky, to Tanky's calculated shock, more so because Tanky's been recognized. It goes to show that when you flash on Friendster, somebody will stand up.
Related Story: Tanky's Un-Hooking the Bait
Tanky's best friend, Pretty Lady, sees romance in Tanky's air, this despite that only one or two general E-line passed through Tanky's waves from the poodle. Pretty sees a Zap, but Tanky thinks of it more like an E-Zing. Is there such a thing as "Love at First Type"? Pretty hopes so, Tanky says....Na-uh! Pretty's thinking of baby names for Tanky and the American Pup, when Tanky's thinking how she can hide her horns and tail from the poodle community. Who needs everlasting love when you can have a good *u*k (Pigeon) or two or three or plenty? (Note from Censors: We respect the rights of the Virgin-eyed & -eared not to view obscene materials. We can say "Pigeon", instead.)
Financial News: Tanky's Stock Dips Down, Forecast Looks Bleak
Official business matters required Tanky to procure further enhancements to her ward-dump, amassing $70.12 (tax inclusive) over the course of the week. At least, that's her excuse (rather than a grave illness) for a 2-piece business suit, 2 blouses & 1 pair of dress pants.
That's a $534.77 (tax inclusive) chip off the old block for: 2 prs. of shoes, 1 pc. of outdoor jacket, 2 bras, a dozen undies, 1 pc. of dress, 3 prs. of dress pants, 2 casual shirts, 4 casual tops, 4 business dress short tops, 9 long-sleeved blouses, 2 sweaters, 4 casual skirts, 6 dress skirts and a 2-pc. business suit. Now if Tanky could be like her brother, she would let her parents chip for her wardrobe dysfunction. But she's not. Last summer, the parental units bought Tanky's brother a 2-pc. business suit at $300 and some $20-$40 shirts to go along with it so he could be prepared for the business work environment. Tanky did not quite have that luxury, which makes her humble and grateful and even more frugal when shopping. Instead of a $300/2-pc. suit, she settled for $30/2-pc. suit. A zero less means a whole lot.
What kills Tanky though is shelling for dry cleaning. She did, however, drag herself to the cleaners last week for the first time because of a bad experience before, when Tanky the bean-counter decided to hand-wash her expensive (meaning triple digit) pea coat ($100-ish) because a klutz spilled grape juice on it, and almost destroyed the shape of the coat. Not risking a chance to do the same to her other pieces of 2nd-hand business suits, she marched down the counter and shelled $15 to have them dry-cleaned and hemmed. Tanky is miffed because of her own stupidity, realizing she should have spent that $5-ish bucks to dry clean the coat in exchange for a peace of mind. Especially for expensive stuff. Tanky maybe should follow her uncle's example who bought at least seven 2-pc. suits in order to save dry-cleaning money. He rotates wearing the suits and just changes the inner shirt and have them dry cleaned once per season. As long as people don't smell the rotten eggs under her arms, Tanky figures that she can get away safely without throwing her other stuff to the cleaners.
Related Story: Tanky Cash-Strappy over the Long Weekend
It's almost thanksgiving, and Tanky has tons of preparations to do and tons of cash to give away to parties and to her brother. Tanky is currently having the dilemma of choosing a worthy gift (over-thought it must be, as family tradition) for her one and only brother. It must be a) practical b) meaningful c) not too cheap d) not too expensive e) can stand the test of time f) cannot fade and break g) appropriate h) symbolize something about the receiver's character, personality i) related to the field of the receiver's life. These standards of picking a worthy gift is laid out by none other the man himself, Tanky's brother.
What do you give a man who has expensive and particular taste without breaking your bank? Tanky has an idea that might or might not fly. You see, Tanky's brother lost so many things in the course of the year. So her idea is to replace one of them. But how? It is nearly impossible as half a year ago, we called all the suppliers locally and internationally and they all said the same thing: the item is no longer in production, and it has been liquidated. Now Tanky saw at the mall something similar to the said lost item, but knowing her brother's philosophy of "not settling for second best," it was rather a moot point to get him something that looks similar but not quite the real thing.
Tanky tentatively decides to get the said thing anyway, if she can't think of something else, and just get a gift receipt and if Tanky's brother doesn't like it, he could always exchange or get the money back instead. This is good for Tanky, saves her from over-frying her brain and lets her stay away from the mall. Besides, she figures why put so much effort when she knows she gets nothing in return on her birthday. But giving is not about hoping that you will receive something back; it is about giving without any expectations and ulterior motives aside from making the person happy. And Tanky wants to make people happy. She's a people pleaser. If Tanky is making millions, she would have given her brother a condo, a state-of-the-art computer and a sports car for his birthday. But she's not. He'd have to settle for the wheel.
Health News: Dieting Tanky needs Panky.
Discipline is the most important thing: with it, you can achieve everything, as long as you put your mind to it; without it, well, just ask Tanky. She would tell you that what she lacks is discipline (and motivation, and ambition, among other things, but that's another story). She tells herself that if only she could exercise an hour a day (everyday of the week), it can make her tummy go away (maybe in 10 yrs). Last week, she found that she doesn't enjoy exercising (she falls asleep on the floor while doing just 2 minutes of crunches) as much as she enjoys dancing. So dancing it is! If her aunt danced and dieted her way to a sexy small size, Tanky figured she could too! Tanky's auntie was maybe 2 sizes larger than Tanky before she danced up a storm, now she's 2 sizes smaller than Tank! How amazing!
The pounds and inches that Tanky gained over the course of last week ("who's that pig?" entry) were lost again and some more. Hence, also the need for new wardrobe, as when Tanky went to the interview with her lone interview pants with blazer she bought just this January, the pants were slipping off her butt and Tanky had to tie the pants with a makeshift suspender. It goes to show that Pigeon-ing works wonders Here's proof.
Weather News: Mainly Sunny, Sometimes Cloudy
Forecast for the week: Bouts of Nervousness. Rocky and Unsteady hands at work. Malfunctioning Brain. Darting Eyes. For Tanky, it's like going to her first day of school all over again. Eegads!