I know there are some nasty people out there(male and female), some of the statistics listing in my earlier post(originally about misrepresentation of black metal) are very scary indeed. BUT no-one mentions the wrecked lives over false rape allegations often made out of the thoughts 'I wouldn't have slept with him no matter how drunk I was, so he MUST have raped me', or worse, for financial gain. For fear of putting women off coming forward. Yes, we need to do something about the appalling (approx)5% conviction rate in UK rape cases, but this meme does nothing to help. It's not your fault if you get raped, but you wouldn't leave expensive things on show in an unlocked car, so don't get blind drunk and go home with a total stranger. You have to take responsiblity for your own welfare as much as possible.
I think a lot of women subconsiously play the victim over this kind of thing. And feminists use it to say how awful all men are. These things get hijacked by people who have an axe to grind about men, rather than concirning themselves with making women(and men) safe from assault and rape.
If you are raped, go to the police ASAP, get DNA, make a statement, press charges, stand your ground in court.
Home Office statistics say false reports of rape are about on a par with false reports of other crimes. Statistics also estimate that only one fifth of rapes are reported.
If you are raped, go to the police ASAP, get DNA, make a statement, press charges, stand your ground in court.
And face accusations of being lying for money or revenge. Have it implied that you're a slut. Be told it was your fault for wearing a short skirt. Have it said you led him on. You'd been drinking, what did you expect? You're ruining a man's life by saying this. You shouldn't have walked home alone. You've cheated on your husband by doing this. You're dirty now, a ecent man wouldn't want you. It was your fault. These are the attitudes a raped woman faces. These are the attitudes this meme is trying to challenge.
And changing public opinions, raising awareness, publically stating support, as this meme does, may help these women to get up the confidence to come forward.
It's all very well to speak of digging your heels in, but there are women out there who have been raped whose lives would be destroyed if it became public, even if they got lucky on odds of 19:1 and got a conviction. I'm not surprised they don't come forward.
I know it's a difficult situation, but if you do nothing then you might as well say it's OK for men to do that. And it garantees the man is going to be able to do that to others (probably thinking it's OK).
But some women do think it's okay for him do it, or it's their own fault. And if this meme can reach them, or encourage those who are scared of what their neighbours will whisper, or their husband's anger - then perhaps it might help them.
And again agreement. People need to be encouraged to feel empowered for themselves, without having to put down one particular sex or grouping of some sort.
I think people do need to take responsibility and look after themselves -the argument of car-crime does not equal rape still doesn't change the fact that in either case, you should still take measures to look after yourself and perhaps some people think more about safe-guarding their property than themselves from opportunists. I think this applies to men just as equally as it does to women, at pretty much all the levels you've outlined there. Some men probably do need to be told "If a woman seems like a bit of a psycho-hose-beast, don't get in a relationship with her!". Men are victims of assault and "domestic" violence too, and are often embarrassed or think themselves at fault when these things happen against them.
As well as this, the stats from the original report look like they were biased -it was multiple choice and some of the categorisations left things so that it wasn't that easy for people to necessarily say what they actually think.
The message here should be simple. Listen to people and support them if something horrible has happened to them, don't stand idle if you hear about something happening, speak out for yourself if something horrible does happen, and look after yourself and others.
the stats from the original report look like they were biased -it was multiple choice and some of the categorisations left things so that it wasn't that easy for people to necessarily say what they actually think
A quick google revealed this, which links the report in full.
Quickly eying it up I'm not so sure it clearly projects that people think some of these things that the media have said it does, that can be the nature of stats and reports though!
I was using the car thing as an analogy. You don't deserve to have stuff nicked, but common sense tells you you can reduce the likelyhood of it happening. Though we do seem to take more care over our property that we do ourselves :-/
It is often seen as funny for a women to assault a guy, and you're seen as weak man if you 'let' a woman abuse you. I worry that many women play on that and the figure for abused men may not be all that far behind that for abused women.
BUT no-one mentions the wrecked lives over false rape allegations often made out of the thoughts 'I wouldn't have slept with him no matter how drunk I was, so he MUST have raped me', or worse, for financial gain. For fear of putting women off coming forward.
Yes, we need to do something about the appalling (approx)5% conviction rate in UK rape cases, but this meme does nothing to help.
It's not your fault if you get raped, but you wouldn't leave expensive things on show in an unlocked car, so don't get blind drunk and go home with a total stranger. You have to take responsiblity for your own welfare as much as possible.
I think a lot of women subconsiously play the victim over this kind of thing. And feminists use it to say how awful all men are. These things get hijacked by people who have an axe to grind about men, rather than concirning themselves with making women(and men) safe from assault and rape.
If you are raped, go to the police ASAP, get DNA, make a statement, press charges, stand your ground in court.
Reply
Statistics also estimate that only one fifth of rapes are reported.
If you are raped, go to the police ASAP, get DNA, make a statement, press charges, stand your ground in court.
And face accusations of being lying for money or revenge. Have it implied that you're a slut. Be told it was your fault for wearing a short skirt. Have it said you led him on. You'd been drinking, what did you expect? You're ruining a man's life by saying this. You shouldn't have walked home alone. You've cheated on your husband by doing this. You're dirty now, a ecent man wouldn't want you. It was your fault.
These are the attitudes a raped woman faces. These are the attitudes this meme is trying to challenge.
Reply
And if women don't start digging their heals in and saying 'I won't let this man walk free without a fight' the situation is only going to get worse.
Reply
It's all very well to speak of digging your heels in, but there are women out there who have been raped whose lives would be destroyed if it became public, even if they got lucky on odds of 19:1 and got a conviction. I'm not surprised they don't come forward.
Reply
Reply
Reply
I think people do need to take responsibility and look after themselves -the argument of car-crime does not equal rape still doesn't change the fact that in either case, you should still take measures to look after yourself and perhaps some people think more about safe-guarding their property than themselves from opportunists. I think this applies to men just as equally as it does to women, at pretty much all the levels you've outlined there. Some men probably do need to be told "If a woman seems like a bit of a psycho-hose-beast, don't get in a relationship with her!".
Men are victims of assault and "domestic" violence too, and are often embarrassed or think themselves at fault when these things happen against them.
As well as this, the stats from the original report look like they were biased -it was multiple choice and some of the categorisations left things so that it wasn't that easy for people to necessarily say what they actually think.
The message here should be simple. Listen to people and support them if something horrible has happened to them, don't stand idle if you hear about something happening, speak out for yourself if something horrible does happen, and look after yourself and others.
Reply
Can I have a diresct cite, please?
Reply
Quickly eying it up I'm not so sure it clearly projects that people think some of these things that the media have said it does, that can be the nature of stats and reports though!
Reply
Reply
Though we do seem to take more care over our property that we do ourselves :-/
It is often seen as funny for a women to assault a guy, and you're seen as weak man if you 'let' a woman abuse you. I worry that many women play on that and the figure for abused men may not be all that far behind that for abused women.
Reply
Leave a comment