beware the bitchings about christmas
Any time that i get together with my family, fights are bound to break out, tonight was no exception. the best gift that i got was a scarf. this coming from someone who knits is sad. Amy got me marshmello lotion, grandmother got me a book on how to paint. my parents tried. they got me a portable dvd player. i have a dvd player. i don't need a portable one, i don't travle much and even if i used it on a car trip, i would throwup. amy got a nice camera. i, the one who took photography classes didn't get the camera. i sound so greedy, don't i? my family never understood me. tehy just don't think about things and it can be so frusterating. they just make me want to scream. everyone is crowded around amy and her new toy while mine stays in the box. i'm going to try and return it later this week and see what i can get myself. mom says that she has the recapt so i might beable to get cash. that would be great. bills suck and money is tight. alex was so happy to not be in the hole anymore but he is still going to have to bum rent and money for bills off me. i can tap into my savings and be fine but that money was ment for other things. i hate having to worry about money. it makes it hard to sleep. i already have enough troubles with nightnares. santa will bring something else in the morning, great. i have to spend the night on the couch in their den tonight. i just want to back to the rented house and knit for the rest of the night. i just feel bummed out. if i get yelled at again i might scream back for once. i hate to say, but this is a normal christmas for this house. I can't win. but i would rather never win than never play.