(no subject)
the other day i went to the suburban mall with my mom. she hadn't known what to get me for my birthday so we went shopping thinking, "maybe we'll find an outfit i can wear to the three weddings i'm going to on three consecutive saturdays this august." i had thought that it wouldn't be a big deal to buy a dress to wear to these nuptuals-the three couples are not in any way related to each other, so no one would notice if i wore the same one. but then my mom started educating me about things like bridal showers and gift registries & i realized that i am basically already in debt because of all that. i sure can't wait till i don't get married & no one buys me anything to pay me back for the thousands of dollars i am now realizing i will have to spend on countless people for the rest of my life.
also, my mom is putting my name on the bridal shower invitations for my cousins' fiance because she thought it would be more appropriate because we are closer in age. though she assured me that she would do all the dirty work (things like making tiny sandwiches and probably strategically placing doilies around the living room), i insisted that if my name is on the invitations, then they can't have roses or lace or children kissing on them. she said okay. so while we were at the mall, we looked through a bunch. after vetoing the ones that fit the above descriptions as well as those that said stupid things like "love is forever," i okay-ed the only one left. it has an umbrella on it (albeit, a pink umbrella. so we don't forget that showers are for girls.) & it says "looks like a shower!" this is fairly stupid, but also pretty vague & at least it doesn't make marriage & weddings seem like things that are amazingly awesome that everyone in their right mind should aspire to.
anyway, besides that, we had the mission of finding me a dress. we went to a bunch of stores & i got pretty bored because they all have basically the same thing & women supposedly have more fashion leeway than men but that's not really true because there is still one essential look that girls are always supposed to be going for: whichever one compliments your best features and best hides your hideous flaws. needless to say, i didn't find anything to wear, but i did manage to pick out at least a part of my birthday present: "the essential dolly parton," a two-disc set with all her greatest hits.
on our way back to sears where we had parked the car, my mother & i discovered that an abercrombie & fitch store had apparently just opened in the mall. now, i have heard that some men like girls who wear abercrombie & fitch (& also that chinese food makes them sick), so in my eagerness to please these (& all) men, i thought i'd give it a go. i would offer some kind of assessment of the clothing line or the store itself, but i can't. i was thrown too off guard first thing by the young muscular man standing in the entrance of the store wearing nothing but shorts and flip flops. that's right: topless. THIS WAS EXTREMELY CREEPY. he was honestly just standing there, greeting people. i avoided eye contact & squeezed in behind the set of people in front of me, because i don't know what i would have done if he'd addressed me directly. inside, to not disappoint male customers i suppose, there were plently of girls in tight jeans with long blonde hair & a genuine interest in how each potential customer was doing that day.
as soon as we were in, i looked at my mom & we agreed that we needed to get out very quickly. it wasn't easy; the place was quite dark & had a number of rooms you had to go through before you could reach the exit, which was partially blocked off by a table and a male and female (fully-clothed, thank god) goodbye-er couple. my mother & i walked quickly through the corridor. i thought we were thinking the same thing, & that we might have a heated political debate about capitalism, body image & perhaps even heteronormativity in the car on the way home, but as we hurried out of the mall, all my mother said to me was, "that was really strange. i don't know how i feel about it. sad, i think. someone's poor child is standing in that doorway with his shirt off." i just nodded & said "weird." i didn't want to bog her head up with politics anyway-she has a bridal shower to plan after all.
also, my mom is putting my name on the bridal shower invitations for my cousins' fiance because she thought it would be more appropriate because we are closer in age. though she assured me that she would do all the dirty work (things like making tiny sandwiches and probably strategically placing doilies around the living room), i insisted that if my name is on the invitations, then they can't have roses or lace or children kissing on them. she said okay. so while we were at the mall, we looked through a bunch. after vetoing the ones that fit the above descriptions as well as those that said stupid things like "love is forever," i okay-ed the only one left. it has an umbrella on it (albeit, a pink umbrella. so we don't forget that showers are for girls.) & it says "looks like a shower!" this is fairly stupid, but also pretty vague & at least it doesn't make marriage & weddings seem like things that are amazingly awesome that everyone in their right mind should aspire to.
anyway, besides that, we had the mission of finding me a dress. we went to a bunch of stores & i got pretty bored because they all have basically the same thing & women supposedly have more fashion leeway than men but that's not really true because there is still one essential look that girls are always supposed to be going for: whichever one compliments your best features and best hides your hideous flaws. needless to say, i didn't find anything to wear, but i did manage to pick out at least a part of my birthday present: "the essential dolly parton," a two-disc set with all her greatest hits.
on our way back to sears where we had parked the car, my mother & i discovered that an abercrombie & fitch store had apparently just opened in the mall. now, i have heard that some men like girls who wear abercrombie & fitch (& also that chinese food makes them sick), so in my eagerness to please these (& all) men, i thought i'd give it a go. i would offer some kind of assessment of the clothing line or the store itself, but i can't. i was thrown too off guard first thing by the young muscular man standing in the entrance of the store wearing nothing but shorts and flip flops. that's right: topless. THIS WAS EXTREMELY CREEPY. he was honestly just standing there, greeting people. i avoided eye contact & squeezed in behind the set of people in front of me, because i don't know what i would have done if he'd addressed me directly. inside, to not disappoint male customers i suppose, there were plently of girls in tight jeans with long blonde hair & a genuine interest in how each potential customer was doing that day.
as soon as we were in, i looked at my mom & we agreed that we needed to get out very quickly. it wasn't easy; the place was quite dark & had a number of rooms you had to go through before you could reach the exit, which was partially blocked off by a table and a male and female (fully-clothed, thank god) goodbye-er couple. my mother & i walked quickly through the corridor. i thought we were thinking the same thing, & that we might have a heated political debate about capitalism, body image & perhaps even heteronormativity in the car on the way home, but as we hurried out of the mall, all my mother said to me was, "that was really strange. i don't know how i feel about it. sad, i think. someone's poor child is standing in that doorway with his shirt off." i just nodded & said "weird." i didn't want to bog her head up with politics anyway-she has a bridal shower to plan after all.