like a stone rolling down a hill, i'm picking up speed as i go
today's stats: cold pills ingested - 6 or 8 (not enough to make a difference); boxes of kleenex placed strategically around the house - 4; actual activities (read: chores) accomplished - more than one can count on 1 hand (maybe i should be sick more often); color variations of mold found growing in fridge - more than one can count on 1 hand.
so today i actually did wake up hungover. then i went back to sleep. when i finally got up, it was just my cold again. much better.... i still feel like poop, but at least i have some energy back. so i decided i'm living too much like a pig. had to clean something. ended up rearranging my pantry, scrubbing my kitchen, and cleaning out the fridge. that meant emptying all of the rubbermaid containers of various leftovers that have been crowding my fridge for the better part of the last 2 months. wow. i would never have guessed that one container of ricotta cheese could yield so many variations of mold. in any case, it now looks like i have no food in my fridge again. which is okay because i have milk, water, pineapple juice, beer, and diet cherry coke in there. i can't imagine what else i really need to get by. i also got almost all my clothes washed, and i cleaned the cat boxes, too. come to think of it, i am totally floored by how productive i was tonight. i almost took a shower, but decided i have to draw the line of cleanliness somewhere. fitting that it should be my body. oh well, i'll do that in the morning. gotta be fresh and clean when i meet the new manager. first impressions are important, you know. this way maybe i'll be able to throw her off track, trick her into thinking i'm actually decent. then when i go back to my normal dirty/bitchy self she won't know what hit her. change of subject coming up.... strange thing happened earlier tonight. i don't really know what to make of it. i talked to matt a couple of times this weekend for various reasons and about various things. i hadn't spoken to him in a few weeks because he was busy and what not with his training. we were mostly just shooting the proverbial shit. earlier tonight i called to leave him a message about some books he wanted, but he answered. he sounded a little out of it and he asked me a very strange question. he asked me if i thought he was an ethical person. i had know idea what he was getting at, so i sort of joked that yeah i thought he was because he didn't go around kicking babies and shooting bunnies for fun. but he was in a serious mood and i actually think he was crying on the other end. i have know idea what kind of stress he's going through right now nor what would cause him to question something so important about himself. he said he couldn't explain right now what was going through his head. i told him he was one of the most ethically sound people i've ever known, but i'm not really one to speak. i mean my choices over the past few months have not really been of the highest moral standards. i've done a few things i'm not proud of, and a few things i still can't own up to. who am i to judge someone else? i think i made him feel better, but in the meantime i'm not feeling so hot now. is now a good time to start questioning my own ethics, principles, and morals? maybe now is a good time to decide just what those things are because they have changed along with the rest of me over the past year. i don't think i want to do any self discovery right now. i haven't got the energy. i haven't got the interest. maybe i could pay someone to do it for me. or take robbin's advice and just sleep through it.
so today i actually did wake up hungover. then i went back to sleep. when i finally got up, it was just my cold again. much better.... i still feel like poop, but at least i have some energy back. so i decided i'm living too much like a pig. had to clean something. ended up rearranging my pantry, scrubbing my kitchen, and cleaning out the fridge. that meant emptying all of the rubbermaid containers of various leftovers that have been crowding my fridge for the better part of the last 2 months. wow. i would never have guessed that one container of ricotta cheese could yield so many variations of mold. in any case, it now looks like i have no food in my fridge again. which is okay because i have milk, water, pineapple juice, beer, and diet cherry coke in there. i can't imagine what else i really need to get by. i also got almost all my clothes washed, and i cleaned the cat boxes, too. come to think of it, i am totally floored by how productive i was tonight. i almost took a shower, but decided i have to draw the line of cleanliness somewhere. fitting that it should be my body. oh well, i'll do that in the morning. gotta be fresh and clean when i meet the new manager. first impressions are important, you know. this way maybe i'll be able to throw her off track, trick her into thinking i'm actually decent. then when i go back to my normal dirty/bitchy self she won't know what hit her. change of subject coming up.... strange thing happened earlier tonight. i don't really know what to make of it. i talked to matt a couple of times this weekend for various reasons and about various things. i hadn't spoken to him in a few weeks because he was busy and what not with his training. we were mostly just shooting the proverbial shit. earlier tonight i called to leave him a message about some books he wanted, but he answered. he sounded a little out of it and he asked me a very strange question. he asked me if i thought he was an ethical person. i had know idea what he was getting at, so i sort of joked that yeah i thought he was because he didn't go around kicking babies and shooting bunnies for fun. but he was in a serious mood and i actually think he was crying on the other end. i have know idea what kind of stress he's going through right now nor what would cause him to question something so important about himself. he said he couldn't explain right now what was going through his head. i told him he was one of the most ethically sound people i've ever known, but i'm not really one to speak. i mean my choices over the past few months have not really been of the highest moral standards. i've done a few things i'm not proud of, and a few things i still can't own up to. who am i to judge someone else? i think i made him feel better, but in the meantime i'm not feeling so hot now. is now a good time to start questioning my own ethics, principles, and morals? maybe now is a good time to decide just what those things are because they have changed along with the rest of me over the past year. i don't think i want to do any self discovery right now. i haven't got the energy. i haven't got the interest. maybe i could pay someone to do it for me. or take robbin's advice and just sleep through it.