Dream
I'll try to do this dream justice, but it was quite a few days ago, so things have become understandably murky. It was one of those very vivid and intense dreams that stays with you, long after you have woken up. It was also one of those dreams that goes on and on, with different parts mingling into one another and interconnecting as you move from one moment to the next.
Where the dream started I am not sure, I only remember when things became extraordinarily clear. I was being pursued by a monster. He was human- I knew him in my dream. A big man, over 6'5 and hugely muscled. Whoever he was, he thrived on pain and suffering. He had many victims, but it was me in particular that he wanted. He had been pursuing me for a long time, and in my dream, we were only moments apart. I was doing all I could to escape him and outwit him. Whenever I did, managing to break free of his grasp or hide just as he was about to find me, he would find another victim. He knew I was there, watching as he killed and maimed, hurt and tortured other women, women who were not me. I felt tremendous amounts of guilt for this, but my survival instinct was much to strong- I couldn't not run away.
Here is where the dream became more liquid and unreal- In our final pursuit, I escaped narrowly, ducking into the doorway of a grey, non-descript building. When I emerged, I found myself on a large hill, covered in a dense low lying fog which covered the ground. I was in a completely silent and empty world. I knew what I was seeing wasn't fog, but the ocean. The ocean but not the ocean. I knew that it had been designed my another woman who had been there before. From the air I could see how clearly its boundaries were defined, a dense, soupy fog writhing against invisible barriers she had placed there. It was a grey, murky, almost living being. I knew she had left it unfinished, it was mine to complete.
The monster was still there, searching for me, but I could not leave until I had finished what she had started. I started to trace the edge of the fog, laying against the grass, cold against the bare skin of my arms. I had to create the other half of this fog, a new, white fog, coloured into the boundaries of hers with my fingers. I couldn't figure out how to do it, and frustrated I kept tracing the edges of the fog with my fingers, microscopic lines of white falling from them to the ground.
Suddenly, I knew. It wasn't that I became smaller, or that the fog became bigger, it was that I became a part of every thing, all the pulsing atoms and air movements, and from the grey sky, a white fog began to fall like rain and snow, and I was in it, completely surrounded by this beautiful and silent fog. I knew then, that it was complete, and the fog wasn't a fog at all, but an ocean, living and breathing. Real. It followed me, snaking around my feet, down a dune of sand, rippled by the wind. I had to outrun it as it grew and formed. Carefully, I followed the signs of the sea, driftwood bleached and worn, embedded in the sand in the forms of hands and arrows. As I ran, I looked to the horizon and saw a stand of trees, gnarled and sepia coloured. At once they were so much more real than I, and not at all of my world. I knew things would never be the same.
Suddenly, I was back in my world, at MSU, still attempting to outrun the monster....on and on, through supermarkets and buildings, as I kept running and he kept murdering and maiming....
Where the dream started I am not sure, I only remember when things became extraordinarily clear. I was being pursued by a monster. He was human- I knew him in my dream. A big man, over 6'5 and hugely muscled. Whoever he was, he thrived on pain and suffering. He had many victims, but it was me in particular that he wanted. He had been pursuing me for a long time, and in my dream, we were only moments apart. I was doing all I could to escape him and outwit him. Whenever I did, managing to break free of his grasp or hide just as he was about to find me, he would find another victim. He knew I was there, watching as he killed and maimed, hurt and tortured other women, women who were not me. I felt tremendous amounts of guilt for this, but my survival instinct was much to strong- I couldn't not run away.
Here is where the dream became more liquid and unreal- In our final pursuit, I escaped narrowly, ducking into the doorway of a grey, non-descript building. When I emerged, I found myself on a large hill, covered in a dense low lying fog which covered the ground. I was in a completely silent and empty world. I knew what I was seeing wasn't fog, but the ocean. The ocean but not the ocean. I knew that it had been designed my another woman who had been there before. From the air I could see how clearly its boundaries were defined, a dense, soupy fog writhing against invisible barriers she had placed there. It was a grey, murky, almost living being. I knew she had left it unfinished, it was mine to complete.
The monster was still there, searching for me, but I could not leave until I had finished what she had started. I started to trace the edge of the fog, laying against the grass, cold against the bare skin of my arms. I had to create the other half of this fog, a new, white fog, coloured into the boundaries of hers with my fingers. I couldn't figure out how to do it, and frustrated I kept tracing the edges of the fog with my fingers, microscopic lines of white falling from them to the ground.
Suddenly, I knew. It wasn't that I became smaller, or that the fog became bigger, it was that I became a part of every thing, all the pulsing atoms and air movements, and from the grey sky, a white fog began to fall like rain and snow, and I was in it, completely surrounded by this beautiful and silent fog. I knew then, that it was complete, and the fog wasn't a fog at all, but an ocean, living and breathing. Real. It followed me, snaking around my feet, down a dune of sand, rippled by the wind. I had to outrun it as it grew and formed. Carefully, I followed the signs of the sea, driftwood bleached and worn, embedded in the sand in the forms of hands and arrows. As I ran, I looked to the horizon and saw a stand of trees, gnarled and sepia coloured. At once they were so much more real than I, and not at all of my world. I knew things would never be the same.
Suddenly, I was back in my world, at MSU, still attempting to outrun the monster....on and on, through supermarkets and buildings, as I kept running and he kept murdering and maiming....