.............
i looked back on all the shit i wrote in here in the year i had and used livejournal, motherfucker, there is some weird shit in there. To see how confused and lost i was, ecspecially at the start is a little weird as I always thought I knew myself well enough.
I know myself well enough now, well enough to know that I'll find a lot more out as I go along.
To re-visit some of the shit I did last year, well its fuckin wickid, Coz I can see the pattern and how it all came about, it all did start from a break up. Then I realized that I was alone, and i was number 1, in other words the 'fuck girls and people, what are they going to do for me' phase, which lasted a year and a bit.
The girls i attatched myself to were the ones I wouldnt get attatched to, and the ones i felt for, i pushed away quick as fuck. Thats something I mastered, finding ways to get away from that. I think I hurt a few people being selfish this way, but i wouldnt take it back, last year I learnt more than any other year, about, people, myself, life.
Now fuck, ive got this feeling, and at first i thought it was an infection, or karma coming back to fuck me. But now it could be love, it could be one of them illusions that look like love, but whatever it fuckin is, its awesome. Its come at the most unexpected time, at the most unexpected place, with the most unexpected girl.
I probably wont write in here ever again.
My life at the moment, minus all the shit, and there is a lot of shit, is great, tops. To all that read my journal, cheers, thanks, and later.
I know myself well enough now, well enough to know that I'll find a lot more out as I go along.
To re-visit some of the shit I did last year, well its fuckin wickid, Coz I can see the pattern and how it all came about, it all did start from a break up. Then I realized that I was alone, and i was number 1, in other words the 'fuck girls and people, what are they going to do for me' phase, which lasted a year and a bit.
The girls i attatched myself to were the ones I wouldnt get attatched to, and the ones i felt for, i pushed away quick as fuck. Thats something I mastered, finding ways to get away from that. I think I hurt a few people being selfish this way, but i wouldnt take it back, last year I learnt more than any other year, about, people, myself, life.
Now fuck, ive got this feeling, and at first i thought it was an infection, or karma coming back to fuck me. But now it could be love, it could be one of them illusions that look like love, but whatever it fuckin is, its awesome. Its come at the most unexpected time, at the most unexpected place, with the most unexpected girl.
I probably wont write in here ever again.
My life at the moment, minus all the shit, and there is a lot of shit, is great, tops. To all that read my journal, cheers, thanks, and later.