(no subject)
I've had my lisence for exactly one month now, and have managed (however narrrowly) to not get in an accident so far. I have, however, found a few insights I would like to share with all of you other pricks on the road.
1. Don't change lanes to the right while the person directly next to you on your right is changing lanes left. It won't work. (I know it seems obvious, but I've seen people try to do it.)
2. Use a turn signal when changing lanes so people know you want to get in front of them and you don't look confused or drunk. Please.
3. If you are going to drive on I64, you'll need to be comfortable driving at 70mph the whole time. Also, know exactly where you are going and how you are going to get there, because you can end up on the wrong side of the world very quickly and nobody lets you change lanes or slow down.
4. Don't drive and drink anything with Splenda in it. Don't not drive and drink anything with Splenda in it either. It's just nasty, nasty stuff.
5. In this city, it is okay to run a red light as long as it just barely turned red. Yellow means "speed the fuck up."
6. The maroon camaro on 264W is a cop.
7. Hydroplaning, despite the connotation given by its name, is not fun, and definately not reccomended.
8. In an emergency, there is usually not enough time to think, register, and complete the action of engaging the emergency brake. If you've gotten as far as thinking about it, you're probably already screwed.
9. People hate you when you hold up traffic to parallel park downtown.
10. The new parking meters downtown take all silver coinage as well as cards of some sort, but I don't know what kind or where to acquire one.
11. Driving is more fun when listening to 'going places music.'
12. Crying really hard does not impair driving as long as you can see. (vomiting, however, probably does.)
13. Sneezing while driving is very dangerous. Avoid it at all costs.
14. People who drive SUVs and sports cars have been given special lisences that we don't know about that entitle them to go 234905 mph where ever they are.
15. There is never a parking spot where you need there to be one.
16. Sometimes gas pumps are leaky and if you put the nozzle in the gas tank and just wiggle it around a little you get a few free ccs of gas.
17. Don't slow down for birds or squirells. They will get out of the way before you get to where they are, and if they don't, well.... survival of the fittest, folks. Do slow down to dogs, cats, ferrets, hamsters, chifleras, ferns, and other domestic animals/plants. Somebody out there loves them.
For pity's sake people, I know its uncool, but please please please please pease use a turn signal when turning, parking, unparking, and changing lanes. It will make me feel less dead. Thank you.
1. Don't change lanes to the right while the person directly next to you on your right is changing lanes left. It won't work. (I know it seems obvious, but I've seen people try to do it.)
2. Use a turn signal when changing lanes so people know you want to get in front of them and you don't look confused or drunk. Please.
3. If you are going to drive on I64, you'll need to be comfortable driving at 70mph the whole time. Also, know exactly where you are going and how you are going to get there, because you can end up on the wrong side of the world very quickly and nobody lets you change lanes or slow down.
4. Don't drive and drink anything with Splenda in it. Don't not drive and drink anything with Splenda in it either. It's just nasty, nasty stuff.
5. In this city, it is okay to run a red light as long as it just barely turned red. Yellow means "speed the fuck up."
6. The maroon camaro on 264W is a cop.
7. Hydroplaning, despite the connotation given by its name, is not fun, and definately not reccomended.
8. In an emergency, there is usually not enough time to think, register, and complete the action of engaging the emergency brake. If you've gotten as far as thinking about it, you're probably already screwed.
9. People hate you when you hold up traffic to parallel park downtown.
10. The new parking meters downtown take all silver coinage as well as cards of some sort, but I don't know what kind or where to acquire one.
11. Driving is more fun when listening to 'going places music.'
12. Crying really hard does not impair driving as long as you can see. (vomiting, however, probably does.)
13. Sneezing while driving is very dangerous. Avoid it at all costs.
14. People who drive SUVs and sports cars have been given special lisences that we don't know about that entitle them to go 234905 mph where ever they are.
15. There is never a parking spot where you need there to be one.
16. Sometimes gas pumps are leaky and if you put the nozzle in the gas tank and just wiggle it around a little you get a few free ccs of gas.
17. Don't slow down for birds or squirells. They will get out of the way before you get to where they are, and if they don't, well.... survival of the fittest, folks. Do slow down to dogs, cats, ferrets, hamsters, chifleras, ferns, and other domestic animals/plants. Somebody out there loves them.
For pity's sake people, I know its uncool, but please please please please pease use a turn signal when turning, parking, unparking, and changing lanes. It will make me feel less dead. Thank you.