I am legend.

[tango_nosilla]

I love cooking. I love love love cooking. So I was a Thai chef the other day. I made a court bouillon using coconut milk and lemongrass and chili sambal and ginger and poached chicken and served it on brown rice and then I was Greek and made dolmas and browned pork with tomatoes onions feta garlic mint parsley rice and wrapped it up in grape leaves and steamed it in veg stock which was home made of course! Today I was chinese! I made stir-fry with tofu marinated in oj, hussein sauce, soy sauce, sesame oil, peanut oil, garlic, ginger, onions everything everything and chef said it was SLAMMING. And I did a demonstration for my whole class and he called me Chef Allison and he loves me and I love him and I love cooking and when I am in production I am flying and it feels like I will never stop and it is the best feeling. Afterwards I feel tired but so mother fucking ACCOMPLISHED. Like I did something made something learned something gained something grew somehow and improved somehow and it fucking rocks and it is what I always wanted and now I have it and I have it for years to come and everything is great and I am so so so so glad that this is the way things turned out for me. And I am surrounded by friends, by beacons and by love. Everyone in my life is someone I love, someone I trust. I am finally loved! I am finally understood! I am finally honest with everyone in my life. I have no secrets from them and I have no shame and I have no guilt. I don't feel isolated and I don't feel alone. I feel alive! I feel strong. I feel well. I feel better than I have ever felt in my entire life. I feel ready for anything. I am so ready to keep on going and going and to never stop and I am so ready to conquer the universe!!! Hurrrraahhh!!!

This doesn't mean I don't look back. I like to look back. I like to think about what I learned and what I escaped and what I missed and how I've grown. But I don't look back too much. It is much more fun to look ahead and see all the things I have in store.