I know I'll often stop and think about them.
I know that I have a month left, but tonight was the real end of high school for me. All the things they say about the end and the beginning are so real when you come to them. I cried so many times but I couldn't really tell why. I am not sad. That will not be the last time I sing with the Newtones...that will not be the last time I make music with my closest friends. What tonight was..tonight was the end of me in high school. I still have to turn in some homework, take finals etc. But I am done now. I'm over it. I had this heavy feeling of anxiety, like every thing was slipping away and I was shooting forward so fast in one direction I couldn't hold on to it. But tonight was just stopping and spending all day saying goodbye to my place. My chorus. My music. My stage. I celebrated the passing and for once it didn't feel like anything was passing at all. It finally reminded me that these things will be here for me forever and that I can go forward and still come back to visit.
After the concert we all went back to the room and sang. Sang our hearts out. I have to say this. Martin Luther King says that a man who has not lived to find something worth dying for, has not lived. The best way to praise God is to find your passion and do it. Do it whenever and where ever you can. And that's why concerts are so powerful. People I love, people that share my passion, all of us making music together. It's so majestic and I feel it with every fiber of my being and I love it.
After the after concert concert, Allie Jessie Han and I piled into the car with Abby and went to dinner. And it was wonderful. It is always wonderful. I don't have to think or act- I can just be with them and it doesn't have to mean anything more than what it is. People who love each other being together. And we ate and drank and were merry. I had my first official birthday cake, complete with candle, song and lots of cheering men. We drove home listening to Wedding Dance songs and the warm air hugged our bare shoulders in the back seat, the invisible bond of our friendship personified.
When I was walking back to my apartment I realized that I could leave high school because I had finally found my high school. I fit. I fit in chorus, I fit on stage, I fit with a certain group of people. Me, exactly as I am, fit. And the happiest part was realizing that the 16 year old me had been part of a greater group and a greater thing of love and music and friendship and the 17 year old me is going to be a part of something majestic too.
After the concert we all went back to the room and sang. Sang our hearts out. I have to say this. Martin Luther King says that a man who has not lived to find something worth dying for, has not lived. The best way to praise God is to find your passion and do it. Do it whenever and where ever you can. And that's why concerts are so powerful. People I love, people that share my passion, all of us making music together. It's so majestic and I feel it with every fiber of my being and I love it.
After the after concert concert, Allie Jessie Han and I piled into the car with Abby and went to dinner. And it was wonderful. It is always wonderful. I don't have to think or act- I can just be with them and it doesn't have to mean anything more than what it is. People who love each other being together. And we ate and drank and were merry. I had my first official birthday cake, complete with candle, song and lots of cheering men. We drove home listening to Wedding Dance songs and the warm air hugged our bare shoulders in the back seat, the invisible bond of our friendship personified.
When I was walking back to my apartment I realized that I could leave high school because I had finally found my high school. I fit. I fit in chorus, I fit on stage, I fit with a certain group of people. Me, exactly as I am, fit. And the happiest part was realizing that the 16 year old me had been part of a greater group and a greater thing of love and music and friendship and the 17 year old me is going to be a part of something majestic too.