020. Glow
Title: Glow
Pairings: Donghae/Kibum
Ratings: G
Summary: Kibum is confused...and Donghae teaches him, with the help of fireflies.
Kibum smiled, grinning at the sight in front of him.
"Hyung, look!" He exclaimed excitedly, waving his hands wildly in the air, his smile stretched across his face. Donghae raised his eyebrows at his dongsaeng next to him, satisfied that Kibum was content at such a simple scenery. He turned back to face the night sky, pointing and drawing random patterns, tracing his own life in the night, highlighting every cloud.
"Kibum ah."
"Hyung?"
"Are you satisfied with your life now?" Donghae asked, a little awkward. He shifted uncomfortably in his position, where both of them were lying down in a tent, observing the beautiful night sky, which seemed to be within reach, so close that they could almost feel it. The other members of Super Junior were still sitting around the campfire they had built for their barbecue just now, simply enjoying the warmth and the company it provided. Kibum seemed to be a little tired, and had asked to excuse himself. Donghae had silently followed him, wondering, pondering.
"Hyung? Why this question?" Kibum mumbled, turning his head slightly away from Donghae, avoiding his hyung's piercing gaze on his face. He fidgeted quietly with his fingers, playing and twiddling them, trying to avoid the question as long as possible.
Donghae turned onto his side, looking straight at Kibum. "Yah, you look a bit depressed lately. Is it all the work that is making you so pressurized and stressed? Do you enjoy what you are doing now?" Donghae asked tentatively, before lying on his back again. He slowly lowered his arm onto the ground beside him, propping himself up slightly, staring at the hypnotic fire in the middle of the ring of members.
Kibum followed suit, sitting up straight to look at the 11 other members of Super Junior. He had missed them, as he had been busy with acting career. Even in SuperShow II, he didn't manage to perform on the same stage as the others, nursing an injury he had gotten during the rehersals. He silently cursed himself for being so clumsy, giving up one of the few rare opportunities where he could finally work with his members, and finally proudly claim to be one of Super Junior members.
"Hyung, if you are asked to choose between two of your greatest interests, what would you choose?" Kibum asked simply, turning his whole body around to face Donghae. Donghae smiled, drawing small circles on the ground. He knew that Kibum was facing this exact dilemma now, and he wasn't sure how he could help. He always prided himself on being a good hyung to Kibum, but in this case, it seems like he was unable to offer advice that Kibum might want to hear.
"I guess....if I take dancing and friendship for example. Dancing is indeed one of my greatest interests in life, I can't imagine myself not dancing at all. It would be giving up one of my passions, transforming me from this bubbly and bursting with passion guy into a dead and lifeless zombie. But friendship....I would take this, rather than dancing. Because with friends, they can change me from that zombie back into my normal self, because they are the ones that start my passion, because they are the ones who can guide me along, nurturing my talents, charting my growth along with me. Without them, I don't think I will be here today, or I will even consider dancing as one of my passions."
Donghae glanced out of the side of his eye, noting Kibum's downcast look. He had tried his best, he knew that Kibum was torn between Super Junior and acting. He had tried to convince and persuade Kibum to come back to Super Junior fully, but he knew, that it wasn't Kibum's choice to make. Sometimes, he hoped that he had his own personal choices, choosing and deciding what exactly he wanted to do in the future, following his own interests and fulfilling his dreams. It was indeed hard to determine one's passion and future at the young age of 14, when most of the members of Super Junior had signed up with SM entertainment as trainees. He still remembered the days, where he thought that by just being a trainee, he would fulfill his dream of being a world-class idol, enjoying everything thoroughly. He never gave much thought to the burden and stress that was placed on him, the image that was expected out of him, or even more, the rules and regulations he had to follow, which ironically confined and restricted what he had initially signed up for to do.
"Kibum, sometimes I wish I could turn back time...." Donghae mumbled to himself, staring at the ground once again.
Kibum lifted his gaze towards the other 11 members, who were laughing and seemed to be carefree and without a single burden in their hearts. His heart wrenched painfully as he considered the thought of leaving Super Junior, making them a 12 member group, instead of that 13 member group which they had started out from. His throat constricted, as tears now threatened to spill. "Aish, why am I so emotional today?" Kibum considered, mentally scolding himself.
"Hyung, if I have to choose one day, between Super Junior and acting, what do you think I would choose?" Kibum asked quietly, wanting to know his hyung's opinion of him. He sat still on the grass patch, but his heart and mind were confused, not knowing what to do, not knowing how to react.
"Kibum....I cannot answer that for you." Donghae stated simply. He knew, he had overheard manager-hyung's conversation with Kibum this very exact morning, before they had left together for this rare holiday at the beach, pitching up tents and enjoying such a moment with other members. He knew that Kibum had to make this decision one day. The company was pressurizing him, it was either this or that. He couldn't enjoy the best of both worlds. Why, why, did people have to make such difficult decisions at times? Why must the company force him to give up this or that? It is so unfair, why can't they keep both, why can't they keep the things that are really closest to them, that are most cherished by them? It hurts to choose, it feels like he would be physically torn up, split into two pieces.
Kibum closed his eyes and sighed, wanting to forget about this dilemma once and for all.
Donghae smiled gently, lifting his arm to point at a scene that was unfolding right in front of them, capturing everyone's attention, as all the other 11 members came to join them at the grass patch, sitting down, captivated by the scene in front of their eyes. Donghae prodded Kibum with his finger, making Kibum open his eyes.
Fireflies were all around him, glowing, spending their short lifespan glowing for others. They cherish the exact moment, bringing joy to others, just like how Kibum saw the other members playing with each other, basking in the light the fireflies were giving off. Seeing the interaction between them, the way the fireflies danced their way through the night sky, Kibum suddenly felt a little more peaceful, a little more able to forget about the conundrum he had to face once again the next morning when he wakes up, the next morning, where his manager-hyung would call him to pressure him to make the final decision, where he had to tell the most senior boss up there, if he wants to be in Super Junior, or he wants to concentrate on his acting.
Donghae smiled wider, placing his hand on Kibum's shoulder, patting in silence. Kibum lay down on the grass and closed his eyes, smiling silently to himself, simply enjoying the silence of the night, when all 13 members of Super Junior watched the fireflies glow happily in the night sky, decorating the clouds with specks of life, seeming to offer hope in the darkest periods of his life. Donghae inched a bit closer to Kibum, not wanting the other members to hear what he was going to say.
"Kibum, decide tomorrow. Rest now, and sleep well. The decision will be clear to you once you wake up tomorrow. Sleep now." Donghae murmured quietly into Kibum's ear, as he continued to watch the fireflies around him.
Kibum mumbled back a sentence in reply, so soft that Donghae nearly almost couldn't catch it.
"Hyung....I have chosen. I have chosen friendship.....Super Junior...." Kibum said as his voice grew fainter, as he fell into a deep slumber.
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A/N: I wrote this because it's KIBUM'S BIRTHDAY! Although I kind of exceeded the day, I still want to wish him a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! <3s you Kibum and stop going M.I.A. please? >.< Suju is only complete with 13 members T_T Anyway, comments are love! So please do comment! ^^
Pairings: Donghae/Kibum
Ratings: G
Summary: Kibum is confused...and Donghae teaches him, with the help of fireflies.
Kibum smiled, grinning at the sight in front of him.
"Hyung, look!" He exclaimed excitedly, waving his hands wildly in the air, his smile stretched across his face. Donghae raised his eyebrows at his dongsaeng next to him, satisfied that Kibum was content at such a simple scenery. He turned back to face the night sky, pointing and drawing random patterns, tracing his own life in the night, highlighting every cloud.
"Kibum ah."
"Hyung?"
"Are you satisfied with your life now?" Donghae asked, a little awkward. He shifted uncomfortably in his position, where both of them were lying down in a tent, observing the beautiful night sky, which seemed to be within reach, so close that they could almost feel it. The other members of Super Junior were still sitting around the campfire they had built for their barbecue just now, simply enjoying the warmth and the company it provided. Kibum seemed to be a little tired, and had asked to excuse himself. Donghae had silently followed him, wondering, pondering.
"Hyung? Why this question?" Kibum mumbled, turning his head slightly away from Donghae, avoiding his hyung's piercing gaze on his face. He fidgeted quietly with his fingers, playing and twiddling them, trying to avoid the question as long as possible.
Donghae turned onto his side, looking straight at Kibum. "Yah, you look a bit depressed lately. Is it all the work that is making you so pressurized and stressed? Do you enjoy what you are doing now?" Donghae asked tentatively, before lying on his back again. He slowly lowered his arm onto the ground beside him, propping himself up slightly, staring at the hypnotic fire in the middle of the ring of members.
Kibum followed suit, sitting up straight to look at the 11 other members of Super Junior. He had missed them, as he had been busy with acting career. Even in SuperShow II, he didn't manage to perform on the same stage as the others, nursing an injury he had gotten during the rehersals. He silently cursed himself for being so clumsy, giving up one of the few rare opportunities where he could finally work with his members, and finally proudly claim to be one of Super Junior members.
"Hyung, if you are asked to choose between two of your greatest interests, what would you choose?" Kibum asked simply, turning his whole body around to face Donghae. Donghae smiled, drawing small circles on the ground. He knew that Kibum was facing this exact dilemma now, and he wasn't sure how he could help. He always prided himself on being a good hyung to Kibum, but in this case, it seems like he was unable to offer advice that Kibum might want to hear.
"I guess....if I take dancing and friendship for example. Dancing is indeed one of my greatest interests in life, I can't imagine myself not dancing at all. It would be giving up one of my passions, transforming me from this bubbly and bursting with passion guy into a dead and lifeless zombie. But friendship....I would take this, rather than dancing. Because with friends, they can change me from that zombie back into my normal self, because they are the ones that start my passion, because they are the ones who can guide me along, nurturing my talents, charting my growth along with me. Without them, I don't think I will be here today, or I will even consider dancing as one of my passions."
Donghae glanced out of the side of his eye, noting Kibum's downcast look. He had tried his best, he knew that Kibum was torn between Super Junior and acting. He had tried to convince and persuade Kibum to come back to Super Junior fully, but he knew, that it wasn't Kibum's choice to make. Sometimes, he hoped that he had his own personal choices, choosing and deciding what exactly he wanted to do in the future, following his own interests and fulfilling his dreams. It was indeed hard to determine one's passion and future at the young age of 14, when most of the members of Super Junior had signed up with SM entertainment as trainees. He still remembered the days, where he thought that by just being a trainee, he would fulfill his dream of being a world-class idol, enjoying everything thoroughly. He never gave much thought to the burden and stress that was placed on him, the image that was expected out of him, or even more, the rules and regulations he had to follow, which ironically confined and restricted what he had initially signed up for to do.
"Kibum, sometimes I wish I could turn back time...." Donghae mumbled to himself, staring at the ground once again.
Kibum lifted his gaze towards the other 11 members, who were laughing and seemed to be carefree and without a single burden in their hearts. His heart wrenched painfully as he considered the thought of leaving Super Junior, making them a 12 member group, instead of that 13 member group which they had started out from. His throat constricted, as tears now threatened to spill. "Aish, why am I so emotional today?" Kibum considered, mentally scolding himself.
"Hyung, if I have to choose one day, between Super Junior and acting, what do you think I would choose?" Kibum asked quietly, wanting to know his hyung's opinion of him. He sat still on the grass patch, but his heart and mind were confused, not knowing what to do, not knowing how to react.
"Kibum....I cannot answer that for you." Donghae stated simply. He knew, he had overheard manager-hyung's conversation with Kibum this very exact morning, before they had left together for this rare holiday at the beach, pitching up tents and enjoying such a moment with other members. He knew that Kibum had to make this decision one day. The company was pressurizing him, it was either this or that. He couldn't enjoy the best of both worlds. Why, why, did people have to make such difficult decisions at times? Why must the company force him to give up this or that? It is so unfair, why can't they keep both, why can't they keep the things that are really closest to them, that are most cherished by them? It hurts to choose, it feels like he would be physically torn up, split into two pieces.
Kibum closed his eyes and sighed, wanting to forget about this dilemma once and for all.
Donghae smiled gently, lifting his arm to point at a scene that was unfolding right in front of them, capturing everyone's attention, as all the other 11 members came to join them at the grass patch, sitting down, captivated by the scene in front of their eyes. Donghae prodded Kibum with his finger, making Kibum open his eyes.
Fireflies were all around him, glowing, spending their short lifespan glowing for others. They cherish the exact moment, bringing joy to others, just like how Kibum saw the other members playing with each other, basking in the light the fireflies were giving off. Seeing the interaction between them, the way the fireflies danced their way through the night sky, Kibum suddenly felt a little more peaceful, a little more able to forget about the conundrum he had to face once again the next morning when he wakes up, the next morning, where his manager-hyung would call him to pressure him to make the final decision, where he had to tell the most senior boss up there, if he wants to be in Super Junior, or he wants to concentrate on his acting.
Donghae smiled wider, placing his hand on Kibum's shoulder, patting in silence. Kibum lay down on the grass and closed his eyes, smiling silently to himself, simply enjoying the silence of the night, when all 13 members of Super Junior watched the fireflies glow happily in the night sky, decorating the clouds with specks of life, seeming to offer hope in the darkest periods of his life. Donghae inched a bit closer to Kibum, not wanting the other members to hear what he was going to say.
"Kibum, decide tomorrow. Rest now, and sleep well. The decision will be clear to you once you wake up tomorrow. Sleep now." Donghae murmured quietly into Kibum's ear, as he continued to watch the fireflies around him.
Kibum mumbled back a sentence in reply, so soft that Donghae nearly almost couldn't catch it.
"Hyung....I have chosen. I have chosen friendship.....Super Junior...." Kibum said as his voice grew fainter, as he fell into a deep slumber.
------------
A/N: I wrote this because it's KIBUM'S BIRTHDAY! Although I kind of exceeded the day, I still want to wish him a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! <3s you Kibum and stop going M.I.A. please? >.< Suju is only complete with 13 members T_T Anyway, comments are love! So please do comment! ^^