The line between reality and fantasy
Title: The line between reality and fantasy
Author: xoxo_nat_xx
Pairing: Haehyuk
Ratings: PG-13
Summary: Donghae thinks love is like bubble wrap; it encases the other entirely within it, without being too tight, nor controlling, and it allows the other to feel the lightness and fluffy feeling love brings about.
Seoul is a definite no for singles, Donghae remarks quietly, as he walks down the Han River, stuffing his gloved hands deep into his pockets. The lights are pretty, the music playing through his headphones is melodious, but something just doesn’t feel really right. Not like he feels really nauseous at the sight of couples holding hands walking down the street, (while he himself stuffs his hands even deeper until he feels the lining of the pocket through his gloves), but the cool wind is blowing and sometimes it seems nice to have someone beside him, quiet and admiring as well.
Someone sticks out a flyer as he walks into a shopping district not far on his way home from the Han River, and Donghae absent-mindedly grabs it, fiddling with the corners every now and then as a thought strikes him. It’s not like he’s exactly lonely; with skype and instant messaging, he doesn’t really feel the distance between Mokpo and Seoul anymore. He sees his family every now and then through the Internet, and they wave, ask about his health, and he replies ‘Fine, fine!’ and they laugh and cut the video call after an hour, and Donghae feels better.
But it doesn’t stop him from wanting to grab someone in his bed in the middle of the night just to snuggle his face into the other’s neck, or something similar.
He presses the button to the lift at the ground floor of his apartment, and casually brushes his hair here and there in front of the mirror. Satisfied, he pulls out the crumpled flyer, ready to shove it into the rubbish bin before the fine print catches his eye.
Donghae stares at the flyer closely, flipping it over and over while waiting for the lift to arrive. He reads it carefully, his brain helpfully supplying ‘Is this some scam or something?’, way too cheerfully. By the time the lift reaches the ground floor and the bells peals charmingly, Donghae decides, and he stuffs the advert back into his pocket, whistling at the possible start of something as he presses the button to his floor.
He doesn’t hesitate once he boots his laptop and all. He keys in the website stated prettily on the flyer quickly and waits patiently as it loads.
And once it does, Donghae hopes he’s not making a mistake. And he never regrets as his mouse produce small, sharp clicking noises one after the other.
---------
It comes rather quickly, Donghae notes, as he signs on a piece of paper for a bulky parcel, with the company name printed in bold on top of it. The deliveryman smiles widely at him and says a “Enjoy it!” excitedly, before vanishing off to the lobby.
He moves, or rather, pulls at the end of the package until it is lying serenely in the middle of his living room, and he thrusts his hands on his hips, contemplating. Unwrapping the package slowly, he spots an instruction manual at the side, and he takes it, giving it a few cursory glances, until he settles at the introduction page. Donghae notes that he has a name, Eunhyuk, and Donghae rolls it around his tongue a few times. Pretty, he thinks, and he nods in agreement with whomever who has given him such a beautiful name.
After unwrapping the initial layers of plastic, Donghae encounters the bubble wrap, and he smiles in delight as he realizes his package must have been very well taken care of, seeing the layers of bubble wrap surrounding his object. He pulls at the bubble wrap carefully, peeling layer by layer away, popping a bubble here and there.
Donghae thinks love is like bubble wrap; it encases the other entirely within it, without being too tight, nor controlling, and it allows the other to feel the lightness and fluffy feeling love brings about.
He grins at the bubble wrap that is now strewn aside, and he carries the life-like figure carefully to the couch, so that Eunhyuk is now sitting upright, still very much not alive yet. Donghae doesn’t really care about the instruction manual on how to wake up his very own robot, but hey it’s supposed to be a human-like robot, so it shall wake up very humanely, Donghae gathers.
He nudges the robot softly in the shoulder, whispering a quiet “Hey, wake up” into his ear, and settles back onto the adjacent seat to observe the following situation.
The robo- Eunhyuk’s eyes flutter open slightly, before widening fully, and he blinks, and Donghae feels his heart skipping several beats.
-------
It takes a few moments for Eunhyuk to start getting acquainted with his surroundings, and the first thing it does is to touch Donghae’s face, much to the latter’s surprise. It feels as if Eunhyuk is memorizing the contours of his face, tracing a shape here and there, and Donghae feels that it seems appropriate if he returns the gesture, and he notes how Eunhyuk stiffens gradually as Donghae continues to trace the outline of his biceps.
The appearance is nearly everything he wants, Donghae thinks, and ponders if he should send a feedback form to the company to praise them for a job well done in getting Eunhyuk to be so close to his description. He is jolted out of his thoughts as Eunhyuk presses a finger to his right cheek, and silently writes his name into the hollow of the cheek as Donghae sucks his breath in.
Donghae, Donghae mouths quietly, as he points to his chest, and Eunhyuk nods, and Donghae is the first word that comes out of his mouth. His voice is melodious, seriously, and Donghae thinks it’s really pitched properly and all, and yes, he can see Eunhyuk in his future sometime down, swinging their arms together in a childish act, or teasing Eunhyuk over a meal. It feels warm; at least, that’s what his heart is telling him.
Stop thinking, Eunhyuk smiles, and he grabs Donghae’s hands. Donghae notes how Eunhyuk’s fingers laces with him simply, and he tightens his grip a little, and as he lifts his head there is a equal, matching wide grin plastered on his face.
Come, Donghae says, I will show you around, and Eunhyuk nods excitedly, and they don’t stop touring the whole place until a few hours later.
A normal person takes about half an hour to tour Donghae’s house properly, because it’s huge and there is some time for questions here and there. But Eunhyuk isn’t a normal person, Donghae thinks, Eunhyuk is more, more than a normal person, and he watches as Eunhyuk bounces up and down on his bed, contented.
--------
Come, Donghae is saying, and he watches as Eunhyuk puts on a puzzled, but nevertheless curious look on his face. The both of them shrug into their coats quietly, and Donghae can’t help but marvel at the fact how Eunhyuk manages to fit in seamlessly into his life. He has just introduced Eunhyuk to his bunch of friends, and they never suspected a thing. Eunhyuk is like real, alive, and an absolute perfect boyfriend, though Donghae isn’t sure if Eunhyuk knows who he is being treated as.
Tugging at Eunhyuk’s hand impatiently, Donghae leads nearly the whole way to the very first place he wanted someone like Eunhyuk. Eunhyuk is quiet beside him as their pace slows down gradually, and Donghae isn’t sure if he should entwine their fingers together, so he lets his arm brush against the other’s now and then.
The Han River is beautiful at night, Eunhyuk remarks, and Donghae nods in acknowledgement as the both of them lean against the railings. The silence between them grows expectant, and Donghae feels Eunhyuk’s gaze on him. He turns, and Eunhyuk is smiling gently at him, and for a while Donghae forgets that Eunhyuk isn’t really real.
What do you feel, about me, about us, Donghae blurts out before his mind can process if it’s a proper question, and he sees the shock drawn on Eunhyuk’s face for a moment, before they settle into a contemplative silence. Donghae wonders if the answer will be pre-programmed in Eunhyuk, or if someone is controlling Eunhyuk right at this moment, or if Eunhyuk has his own will and power to do something.
I don’t know, Eunhyuk murmurs, but Donghae catches it. He turns fully so his side is resting against the railings, and he is watching every single movement of Eunhyuk’s facial muscles, as the latter opens and closes his mouth very much like a fish. I don’t know what you want from me, or what you expect from me, Eunhyuk finally responds, and Donghae stares.
Tell me what you expect of me, Eunhyuk continues, and he turns to face Donghae directly.
I thought, perhaps, and Donghae stumbles over his speech here and there, but he thinks he gets the point across that Eunhyuk isn’t just a robot to keep him accompany, or just to provide some laughs and entertainment when it gets too boring. Eunhyuk is something more than that, and when Donghae stares into Eunhyuk’s eyes he thinks the other gets it.
So why not try his luck, Donghae thinks, and he lifts his hand to rest it carefully on the other, which is placed on the railing.
There is this awkward silence that follows through, and Donghae wonders if he is rushing through things. He laughs, once, uncomfortably, because Eunhyuk isn’t turning his palm over to fit his fingers between his, and Donghae wonders if Eunhyuk knows that this is a gesture that all couples do once they are officially together-
I thought you were never ever going to do that, Eunhyuk exhales softly, and Donghae feels his breath hitch a little. Eunhyuk’s smile grows a little wider, and Donghae sees the slight biting of the lips as Eunhyuk leans a little closer, and he is positively he has kind of stopped breathing.
But there’s something else that couples do, and I want to try, Eunhyuk breathes, and leans in to press his lips softly against Donghae’s. Donghae is stunned, because he has never thought that Eunhyuk will be the one to start this, and Eunhyuk doesn’t feel like a piece of metal, his lips are soft and his cheeks are warm, as Donghae’s palms start to caress his cheeks as the kiss deepens.
Eunhyuk pulls apart softly, and Donghae spots him trying to hold back his laughter. Donghae is positively sure that his own cheeks are suffused with red, and he looks to his right to admire the river instead of letting Eunhyuk tease him relentlessly.
Hey, you were the one who clicked the option of having someone who is an initiator, Eunhyuk complains good-naturedly, and Donghae socks him gently in the arm.
-------
Eunhyuk is standing behind the kitchen counter, cutting some apples and Donghae is just standing around, alternating between picking bits of apples off the cutting board and giving Eunhyuk a back hug every now and then. Donghae is happy, his job is going very well indeed, and Eunhyuk is here to provide him whatever he thinks he lacks in the past.
The soft sounds of rain pelting against the glass doors of the balcony soon make their way to Donghae’s ears, and Donghae is excited. He has this dream, a childish one in fact, that he has cherished and held dear for quite some time, but hasn’t managed to fulfill it yet. He thinks Eunhyuk can read his mind, as the latter turns around and gaze at him curiously, waiting.
Follow me, Donghae states, a grin on his face, and he pries the knife off Eunhyuk’s hands, pulling and tugging at the apron around Eunhyuk’s waist, before dragging the both of them over to the balcony. Eunhyuk is still a little perplexed, Donghae notes, and he pushes the door of the balcony with a flourish.
Come, Donghae announces excitedly, taking a step into the exposed balcony, and another, feeling the droplets soak through his clothes to reach his skin. He whirls and spins around, his arms outstretched, and he feels that it has been a long time since he had so much fun playing in the rain, especially with Eunhyuk present now.
There is this musical laugh that reaches Donghae, and Donghae stops spinning around, focusing on the direction where it came from. Eunhyuk is holding out a hand, observing how the rain hits his palm, and bounce off gently, and the smile on his face is unmistakable. He soon raises the other hand, though still a little cautious, and Donghae cannot stop himself anymore; he grabs those extended hands and pulls Eunhyuk towards him.
It’s smooth, like they have practiced this a lot, and they fit perfectly as Donghae wraps his arms around Eunhyuk’s waist, and they are spinning together in the rain. Eunhyuk turns along with him, the both of them are laughing, and Donghae wants to imprint this scene into his mind forever, so beautiful, that he doesn’t want to let go.
Eunhyuk pushes feebly at his shoulders, and he whispers a, Come, dance for me, into Donghae’s ear, and Donghae complies immediately. He starts dancing, and he knows Eunhyuk has taken a few steps back just to look at him. He closes his eyes and feels the rain droplets sliding down his arms, and he dances, like he has never before, like how he feels, like his heart is bursting with joy because the right person is with him right now, doing the right thing.
As the dance comes to an end, Donghae is grinning so widely, and he opens his eyes to meet Eunhyuk’s gaze evenly. His own face has sweat mixed with rain, and he thinks he has never felt so exhilarated in his life before. He whips his head around, trying to find Eunhyuk.
And Eunhyuk is lying on the ground, crumpled, curled into a fetus position, a faint smile ghosting his lips.
-------
Why didn’t you tell me, Donghae is fretting, and he’s standing at the side after the technician has left his house. He is staring at the pale Eunhyuk lying on his bed, and Eunhyuk manages a weak smile, which gets Donghae riled up, all of a sudden.
Why, Donghae states forcefully, and he moves forward so he is sitting on the bed, gripping Eunhyuk’s hand so tightly, but he doesn’t want to let go. Eunhyuk is something precious to him, and Donghae doesn’t want to let go humans who are precious to him.
I don’t want you to worry, Eunhyuk says, and he lifts a slim hand to place it on Donghae’s cheek. Donghae unconsciously leans into it, and he sees the apology reflecting in Eunhyuk’s eyes, as he exhales harshly.
Tell me everything, Donghae demands, and he sees the sadness in Eunhyuk’s eyes as soon as he declares that. They are staring at each other, and Donghae feels that there is something coming on, but he stays put, he wants Eunhyuk to tell him, to tell him what has happened, to tell him what they are in the future, to tell him what they are going to do next, and detailing every single image in their world.
Donghae, Eunhyuk is whispering, and Donghae leans closer to listen better. What will you do if I tell you I’m leaving you in another two months, Eunhyuk says somberly, and Donghae draws back, only to see the seriousness in Eunhyuk’s features.
Why, Donghae splutters, and for the first time he sees Eunhyuk’s eyes crinkle, not with amusement, but with misery and sorrow. Eunhyuk starts explaining softly, and Donghae feels his world cracking with every added sentence.
-----
Donghae takes leave immediately for two months, giving his reason as personal emergencies, and his employees can’t do much against him; he’s the boss, after all. He starts bringing Eunhyuk to every single place he wants them to go to, and Eunhyuk follows willingly, it’s not like the both of them don’t know that their time together is limited.
There are times where Eunhyuk asks Donghae to stop to listen, Donghae does, but with a tinge of impatience, he wants to make full use of his time with Eunhyuk, every single second, until Eunhyuk pulls Donghae against him, whisper comforting words into his ear and add soothing strokes up and down his back, and Donghae starts to learn how to prioritize. Sometimes actions aren’t everything, Eunhyuk tells him, and Donghae starts to learn as Eunhyuk talks, and he listens, and their soft touches during their conversations convey their emotions.
Donghae doesn’t know that it is possible to fall such deeply in love with a robot, because Eunhyuk isn’t just a robot anymore, he’s everything Donghae wants, but is something that will be snatched away from Donghae pretty soon.
Donghae doesn’t know that Eunhyuk’s depth of feelings actually matches his, even when Eunhyuk is supposedly pre-programmed and all, and not supposed to learn and develop actual feelings, like a very normal human being. He doesn’t learn of it until one day, they are just staring into each other’s eyes in the living room, and Eunhyuk leans forward to grab him by the neck and kisses him so hard, and they end up breathless on the bed, Eunhyuk leaning against his chest, leaning to every single heart beat of his.
Donghae doesn’t know that Eunhyuk actually wants him so much.
They are sitting on the balcony now, legs interlaced together as they snuggle to fit on one single chair. Eunhyuk is resting his palms against Donghae’s chest, and they are looking at the sunset together. It’s a comfortable silence, until Donghae starts to ruffle Eunhyuk’s hair gently, and the latter looks up, right into Donghae’s eyes with such tender affection.
I don’t want to leave you, Eunhyuk starts to sob, and Donghae is at a loss, because never once in his seven months with Eunhyuk has the robot cry before. Donghae rubs the other’s back comfortingly till the sobs subside, and Eunhyuk is whispering something into his ear. He is surprised, stunned in fact, and he looks at Eunhyuk in absolute shock, but the other just nods, and kisses him so sweetly that Donghae just agrees.
I can feel it, Eunhyuk states quietly, and Donghae stares. I can feel my parts starting to fail, Eunhyuk murmurs, and the tears start to escape from Donghae’s eyes. He’s unable to hold them back anymore, but he doesn’t want to sob, he doesn’t Eunhyuk to remember him as the sobbing guy, he wants Eunhyuk to remember his smile, his laughter, and he wipes his tears off forcefully.
Thank you, Eunhyuk says, and Eunhyuk wipes off the tears gently. I love you, I really did, Eunhyuk continues, and he smiles peacefully.
I love you too, seriously, Donghae says and he pulls Eunhyuk in for a kiss, and it is sweet, and soft, and it makes Donghae’s world burst into colours, which then gradually fade into black and white as Eunhyuk stops responding after a while.
-------
Donghae is the only one who thinks that Eunhyuk deserves a proper cremation, of some sorts.
He ponders over what Eunhyuk has said before as he watches the coffin get gobbled up by the flames, and he watches as his Eunhyuk is cremated into ash.
He spreads the ash somewhere over the sea, he thinks it’s kind of appropriate, seeing how Eunhyuk has always teased him about his name, that it is related to the sea, and how Eunhyuk has once said he doesn’t, he never wants to be separated from Donghae, in a sense.
-------
Donghae fumbles with his piece of paper, the address of the company written clearly on it, and he inhales sharply, taking a step into the posh building.
It looks very elegant, and Donghae is somewhat afraid to go up to the receptionist just to enquire about someone working up there, but he remembers what Eunhyuk has said, and he gathers his courage to stand in the line to wait for his turn.
Donghae, find someone in the building for me.
It’s his turn, and Donghae plasters a smile on his face as he takes another step forward, towards the counter.
I was modeled after my creator. You are a special person, seriously. Because what you want, is actually so close to describing my creator.
Hi, the receptionist greets him sweetly, who are you looking for, she asks, and Donghae looks at her.
Find my creator, because he knows, and I’m similar to him.
I would like to speak to one of the employees in the building, Donghae replies, and the receptionist nods politely, one hand typing and the other hovering over a mouse, clicking here and there. Who, she asks respectfully, and Donghae feels his heart ache slightly at the last memory of Eunhyuk.
Find him, find Lee Hyukjae.
Hyukjae, Donghae states, and the receptionist raises her head to take a good look at Donghae. Do you have an appointment, she asks, and Donghae shakes his head hesitantly. She directs him to another floor, where Hyukjae’s secretary is stationed at, and Donghae finds himself in a daze as he looks at the secretary now, in the face.
Yes sir, Mr Lee is currently out, he will be back shortly, so will you please take a seat there and wait sir, the secretary states, without even giving him a glance, and Donghae knows, that him coming without a prior appointment is rash of him, but he’s desperate, he wants to see Hyukjae and see how similar he is to Eunhyuk, and if there’s a possibility of him finding what he really wants in Hyukja-
Donghae.
Donghae turns his head around, and he looks at the unmoving figure standing a distance away from him, who has just called out his name.
So similar, is the first thought Donghae holds, and he walks forward. Hyukjae walks a little closer too, and there’s this silence that stretches between them. Hyukjae clears his throat awkwardly, and his gaze drops to the photograph Donghae is clutching at, and he lifts his gaze.
Eunhyuk told you, Hyukjae surmises, and Donghae nods.
Are..are you..free tonight, Donghae stumbles, and Hyukjae’s lips twitch in this very familiar way that Donghae swears he once saw it before. A smile slowly spreads across Hyukjae’s face, and Hyukjae nods, and Donghae feels that somewhere, Eunhyuk is smiling at the both of them, at the possibility of something new.
-----
A/N: :)Oh right, happy belated birthday to bambaya (although this is not your birthday fic) and happy birthday to eunhaelover and grace_uni. :)
Author: xoxo_nat_xx
Pairing: Haehyuk
Ratings: PG-13
Summary: Donghae thinks love is like bubble wrap; it encases the other entirely within it, without being too tight, nor controlling, and it allows the other to feel the lightness and fluffy feeling love brings about.
Seoul is a definite no for singles, Donghae remarks quietly, as he walks down the Han River, stuffing his gloved hands deep into his pockets. The lights are pretty, the music playing through his headphones is melodious, but something just doesn’t feel really right. Not like he feels really nauseous at the sight of couples holding hands walking down the street, (while he himself stuffs his hands even deeper until he feels the lining of the pocket through his gloves), but the cool wind is blowing and sometimes it seems nice to have someone beside him, quiet and admiring as well.
Someone sticks out a flyer as he walks into a shopping district not far on his way home from the Han River, and Donghae absent-mindedly grabs it, fiddling with the corners every now and then as a thought strikes him. It’s not like he’s exactly lonely; with skype and instant messaging, he doesn’t really feel the distance between Mokpo and Seoul anymore. He sees his family every now and then through the Internet, and they wave, ask about his health, and he replies ‘Fine, fine!’ and they laugh and cut the video call after an hour, and Donghae feels better.
But it doesn’t stop him from wanting to grab someone in his bed in the middle of the night just to snuggle his face into the other’s neck, or something similar.
He presses the button to the lift at the ground floor of his apartment, and casually brushes his hair here and there in front of the mirror. Satisfied, he pulls out the crumpled flyer, ready to shove it into the rubbish bin before the fine print catches his eye.
Donghae stares at the flyer closely, flipping it over and over while waiting for the lift to arrive. He reads it carefully, his brain helpfully supplying ‘Is this some scam or something?’, way too cheerfully. By the time the lift reaches the ground floor and the bells peals charmingly, Donghae decides, and he stuffs the advert back into his pocket, whistling at the possible start of something as he presses the button to his floor.
He doesn’t hesitate once he boots his laptop and all. He keys in the website stated prettily on the flyer quickly and waits patiently as it loads.
And once it does, Donghae hopes he’s not making a mistake. And he never regrets as his mouse produce small, sharp clicking noises one after the other.
---------
It comes rather quickly, Donghae notes, as he signs on a piece of paper for a bulky parcel, with the company name printed in bold on top of it. The deliveryman smiles widely at him and says a “Enjoy it!” excitedly, before vanishing off to the lobby.
He moves, or rather, pulls at the end of the package until it is lying serenely in the middle of his living room, and he thrusts his hands on his hips, contemplating. Unwrapping the package slowly, he spots an instruction manual at the side, and he takes it, giving it a few cursory glances, until he settles at the introduction page. Donghae notes that he has a name, Eunhyuk, and Donghae rolls it around his tongue a few times. Pretty, he thinks, and he nods in agreement with whomever who has given him such a beautiful name.
After unwrapping the initial layers of plastic, Donghae encounters the bubble wrap, and he smiles in delight as he realizes his package must have been very well taken care of, seeing the layers of bubble wrap surrounding his object. He pulls at the bubble wrap carefully, peeling layer by layer away, popping a bubble here and there.
Donghae thinks love is like bubble wrap; it encases the other entirely within it, without being too tight, nor controlling, and it allows the other to feel the lightness and fluffy feeling love brings about.
He grins at the bubble wrap that is now strewn aside, and he carries the life-like figure carefully to the couch, so that Eunhyuk is now sitting upright, still very much not alive yet. Donghae doesn’t really care about the instruction manual on how to wake up his very own robot, but hey it’s supposed to be a human-like robot, so it shall wake up very humanely, Donghae gathers.
He nudges the robot softly in the shoulder, whispering a quiet “Hey, wake up” into his ear, and settles back onto the adjacent seat to observe the following situation.
The robo- Eunhyuk’s eyes flutter open slightly, before widening fully, and he blinks, and Donghae feels his heart skipping several beats.
-------
It takes a few moments for Eunhyuk to start getting acquainted with his surroundings, and the first thing it does is to touch Donghae’s face, much to the latter’s surprise. It feels as if Eunhyuk is memorizing the contours of his face, tracing a shape here and there, and Donghae feels that it seems appropriate if he returns the gesture, and he notes how Eunhyuk stiffens gradually as Donghae continues to trace the outline of his biceps.
The appearance is nearly everything he wants, Donghae thinks, and ponders if he should send a feedback form to the company to praise them for a job well done in getting Eunhyuk to be so close to his description. He is jolted out of his thoughts as Eunhyuk presses a finger to his right cheek, and silently writes his name into the hollow of the cheek as Donghae sucks his breath in.
Donghae, Donghae mouths quietly, as he points to his chest, and Eunhyuk nods, and Donghae is the first word that comes out of his mouth. His voice is melodious, seriously, and Donghae thinks it’s really pitched properly and all, and yes, he can see Eunhyuk in his future sometime down, swinging their arms together in a childish act, or teasing Eunhyuk over a meal. It feels warm; at least, that’s what his heart is telling him.
Stop thinking, Eunhyuk smiles, and he grabs Donghae’s hands. Donghae notes how Eunhyuk’s fingers laces with him simply, and he tightens his grip a little, and as he lifts his head there is a equal, matching wide grin plastered on his face.
Come, Donghae says, I will show you around, and Eunhyuk nods excitedly, and they don’t stop touring the whole place until a few hours later.
A normal person takes about half an hour to tour Donghae’s house properly, because it’s huge and there is some time for questions here and there. But Eunhyuk isn’t a normal person, Donghae thinks, Eunhyuk is more, more than a normal person, and he watches as Eunhyuk bounces up and down on his bed, contented.
--------
Come, Donghae is saying, and he watches as Eunhyuk puts on a puzzled, but nevertheless curious look on his face. The both of them shrug into their coats quietly, and Donghae can’t help but marvel at the fact how Eunhyuk manages to fit in seamlessly into his life. He has just introduced Eunhyuk to his bunch of friends, and they never suspected a thing. Eunhyuk is like real, alive, and an absolute perfect boyfriend, though Donghae isn’t sure if Eunhyuk knows who he is being treated as.
Tugging at Eunhyuk’s hand impatiently, Donghae leads nearly the whole way to the very first place he wanted someone like Eunhyuk. Eunhyuk is quiet beside him as their pace slows down gradually, and Donghae isn’t sure if he should entwine their fingers together, so he lets his arm brush against the other’s now and then.
The Han River is beautiful at night, Eunhyuk remarks, and Donghae nods in acknowledgement as the both of them lean against the railings. The silence between them grows expectant, and Donghae feels Eunhyuk’s gaze on him. He turns, and Eunhyuk is smiling gently at him, and for a while Donghae forgets that Eunhyuk isn’t really real.
What do you feel, about me, about us, Donghae blurts out before his mind can process if it’s a proper question, and he sees the shock drawn on Eunhyuk’s face for a moment, before they settle into a contemplative silence. Donghae wonders if the answer will be pre-programmed in Eunhyuk, or if someone is controlling Eunhyuk right at this moment, or if Eunhyuk has his own will and power to do something.
I don’t know, Eunhyuk murmurs, but Donghae catches it. He turns fully so his side is resting against the railings, and he is watching every single movement of Eunhyuk’s facial muscles, as the latter opens and closes his mouth very much like a fish. I don’t know what you want from me, or what you expect from me, Eunhyuk finally responds, and Donghae stares.
Tell me what you expect of me, Eunhyuk continues, and he turns to face Donghae directly.
I thought, perhaps, and Donghae stumbles over his speech here and there, but he thinks he gets the point across that Eunhyuk isn’t just a robot to keep him accompany, or just to provide some laughs and entertainment when it gets too boring. Eunhyuk is something more than that, and when Donghae stares into Eunhyuk’s eyes he thinks the other gets it.
So why not try his luck, Donghae thinks, and he lifts his hand to rest it carefully on the other, which is placed on the railing.
There is this awkward silence that follows through, and Donghae wonders if he is rushing through things. He laughs, once, uncomfortably, because Eunhyuk isn’t turning his palm over to fit his fingers between his, and Donghae wonders if Eunhyuk knows that this is a gesture that all couples do once they are officially together-
I thought you were never ever going to do that, Eunhyuk exhales softly, and Donghae feels his breath hitch a little. Eunhyuk’s smile grows a little wider, and Donghae sees the slight biting of the lips as Eunhyuk leans a little closer, and he is positively he has kind of stopped breathing.
But there’s something else that couples do, and I want to try, Eunhyuk breathes, and leans in to press his lips softly against Donghae’s. Donghae is stunned, because he has never thought that Eunhyuk will be the one to start this, and Eunhyuk doesn’t feel like a piece of metal, his lips are soft and his cheeks are warm, as Donghae’s palms start to caress his cheeks as the kiss deepens.
Eunhyuk pulls apart softly, and Donghae spots him trying to hold back his laughter. Donghae is positively sure that his own cheeks are suffused with red, and he looks to his right to admire the river instead of letting Eunhyuk tease him relentlessly.
Hey, you were the one who clicked the option of having someone who is an initiator, Eunhyuk complains good-naturedly, and Donghae socks him gently in the arm.
-------
Eunhyuk is standing behind the kitchen counter, cutting some apples and Donghae is just standing around, alternating between picking bits of apples off the cutting board and giving Eunhyuk a back hug every now and then. Donghae is happy, his job is going very well indeed, and Eunhyuk is here to provide him whatever he thinks he lacks in the past.
The soft sounds of rain pelting against the glass doors of the balcony soon make their way to Donghae’s ears, and Donghae is excited. He has this dream, a childish one in fact, that he has cherished and held dear for quite some time, but hasn’t managed to fulfill it yet. He thinks Eunhyuk can read his mind, as the latter turns around and gaze at him curiously, waiting.
Follow me, Donghae states, a grin on his face, and he pries the knife off Eunhyuk’s hands, pulling and tugging at the apron around Eunhyuk’s waist, before dragging the both of them over to the balcony. Eunhyuk is still a little perplexed, Donghae notes, and he pushes the door of the balcony with a flourish.
Come, Donghae announces excitedly, taking a step into the exposed balcony, and another, feeling the droplets soak through his clothes to reach his skin. He whirls and spins around, his arms outstretched, and he feels that it has been a long time since he had so much fun playing in the rain, especially with Eunhyuk present now.
There is this musical laugh that reaches Donghae, and Donghae stops spinning around, focusing on the direction where it came from. Eunhyuk is holding out a hand, observing how the rain hits his palm, and bounce off gently, and the smile on his face is unmistakable. He soon raises the other hand, though still a little cautious, and Donghae cannot stop himself anymore; he grabs those extended hands and pulls Eunhyuk towards him.
It’s smooth, like they have practiced this a lot, and they fit perfectly as Donghae wraps his arms around Eunhyuk’s waist, and they are spinning together in the rain. Eunhyuk turns along with him, the both of them are laughing, and Donghae wants to imprint this scene into his mind forever, so beautiful, that he doesn’t want to let go.
Eunhyuk pushes feebly at his shoulders, and he whispers a, Come, dance for me, into Donghae’s ear, and Donghae complies immediately. He starts dancing, and he knows Eunhyuk has taken a few steps back just to look at him. He closes his eyes and feels the rain droplets sliding down his arms, and he dances, like he has never before, like how he feels, like his heart is bursting with joy because the right person is with him right now, doing the right thing.
As the dance comes to an end, Donghae is grinning so widely, and he opens his eyes to meet Eunhyuk’s gaze evenly. His own face has sweat mixed with rain, and he thinks he has never felt so exhilarated in his life before. He whips his head around, trying to find Eunhyuk.
And Eunhyuk is lying on the ground, crumpled, curled into a fetus position, a faint smile ghosting his lips.
-------
Why didn’t you tell me, Donghae is fretting, and he’s standing at the side after the technician has left his house. He is staring at the pale Eunhyuk lying on his bed, and Eunhyuk manages a weak smile, which gets Donghae riled up, all of a sudden.
Why, Donghae states forcefully, and he moves forward so he is sitting on the bed, gripping Eunhyuk’s hand so tightly, but he doesn’t want to let go. Eunhyuk is something precious to him, and Donghae doesn’t want to let go humans who are precious to him.
I don’t want you to worry, Eunhyuk says, and he lifts a slim hand to place it on Donghae’s cheek. Donghae unconsciously leans into it, and he sees the apology reflecting in Eunhyuk’s eyes, as he exhales harshly.
Tell me everything, Donghae demands, and he sees the sadness in Eunhyuk’s eyes as soon as he declares that. They are staring at each other, and Donghae feels that there is something coming on, but he stays put, he wants Eunhyuk to tell him, to tell him what has happened, to tell him what they are in the future, to tell him what they are going to do next, and detailing every single image in their world.
Donghae, Eunhyuk is whispering, and Donghae leans closer to listen better. What will you do if I tell you I’m leaving you in another two months, Eunhyuk says somberly, and Donghae draws back, only to see the seriousness in Eunhyuk’s features.
Why, Donghae splutters, and for the first time he sees Eunhyuk’s eyes crinkle, not with amusement, but with misery and sorrow. Eunhyuk starts explaining softly, and Donghae feels his world cracking with every added sentence.
-----
Donghae takes leave immediately for two months, giving his reason as personal emergencies, and his employees can’t do much against him; he’s the boss, after all. He starts bringing Eunhyuk to every single place he wants them to go to, and Eunhyuk follows willingly, it’s not like the both of them don’t know that their time together is limited.
There are times where Eunhyuk asks Donghae to stop to listen, Donghae does, but with a tinge of impatience, he wants to make full use of his time with Eunhyuk, every single second, until Eunhyuk pulls Donghae against him, whisper comforting words into his ear and add soothing strokes up and down his back, and Donghae starts to learn how to prioritize. Sometimes actions aren’t everything, Eunhyuk tells him, and Donghae starts to learn as Eunhyuk talks, and he listens, and their soft touches during their conversations convey their emotions.
Donghae doesn’t know that it is possible to fall such deeply in love with a robot, because Eunhyuk isn’t just a robot anymore, he’s everything Donghae wants, but is something that will be snatched away from Donghae pretty soon.
Donghae doesn’t know that Eunhyuk’s depth of feelings actually matches his, even when Eunhyuk is supposedly pre-programmed and all, and not supposed to learn and develop actual feelings, like a very normal human being. He doesn’t learn of it until one day, they are just staring into each other’s eyes in the living room, and Eunhyuk leans forward to grab him by the neck and kisses him so hard, and they end up breathless on the bed, Eunhyuk leaning against his chest, leaning to every single heart beat of his.
Donghae doesn’t know that Eunhyuk actually wants him so much.
They are sitting on the balcony now, legs interlaced together as they snuggle to fit on one single chair. Eunhyuk is resting his palms against Donghae’s chest, and they are looking at the sunset together. It’s a comfortable silence, until Donghae starts to ruffle Eunhyuk’s hair gently, and the latter looks up, right into Donghae’s eyes with such tender affection.
I don’t want to leave you, Eunhyuk starts to sob, and Donghae is at a loss, because never once in his seven months with Eunhyuk has the robot cry before. Donghae rubs the other’s back comfortingly till the sobs subside, and Eunhyuk is whispering something into his ear. He is surprised, stunned in fact, and he looks at Eunhyuk in absolute shock, but the other just nods, and kisses him so sweetly that Donghae just agrees.
I can feel it, Eunhyuk states quietly, and Donghae stares. I can feel my parts starting to fail, Eunhyuk murmurs, and the tears start to escape from Donghae’s eyes. He’s unable to hold them back anymore, but he doesn’t want to sob, he doesn’t Eunhyuk to remember him as the sobbing guy, he wants Eunhyuk to remember his smile, his laughter, and he wipes his tears off forcefully.
Thank you, Eunhyuk says, and Eunhyuk wipes off the tears gently. I love you, I really did, Eunhyuk continues, and he smiles peacefully.
I love you too, seriously, Donghae says and he pulls Eunhyuk in for a kiss, and it is sweet, and soft, and it makes Donghae’s world burst into colours, which then gradually fade into black and white as Eunhyuk stops responding after a while.
-------
Donghae is the only one who thinks that Eunhyuk deserves a proper cremation, of some sorts.
He ponders over what Eunhyuk has said before as he watches the coffin get gobbled up by the flames, and he watches as his Eunhyuk is cremated into ash.
He spreads the ash somewhere over the sea, he thinks it’s kind of appropriate, seeing how Eunhyuk has always teased him about his name, that it is related to the sea, and how Eunhyuk has once said he doesn’t, he never wants to be separated from Donghae, in a sense.
-------
Donghae fumbles with his piece of paper, the address of the company written clearly on it, and he inhales sharply, taking a step into the posh building.
It looks very elegant, and Donghae is somewhat afraid to go up to the receptionist just to enquire about someone working up there, but he remembers what Eunhyuk has said, and he gathers his courage to stand in the line to wait for his turn.
Donghae, find someone in the building for me.
It’s his turn, and Donghae plasters a smile on his face as he takes another step forward, towards the counter.
I was modeled after my creator. You are a special person, seriously. Because what you want, is actually so close to describing my creator.
Hi, the receptionist greets him sweetly, who are you looking for, she asks, and Donghae looks at her.
Find my creator, because he knows, and I’m similar to him.
I would like to speak to one of the employees in the building, Donghae replies, and the receptionist nods politely, one hand typing and the other hovering over a mouse, clicking here and there. Who, she asks respectfully, and Donghae feels his heart ache slightly at the last memory of Eunhyuk.
Find him, find Lee Hyukjae.
Hyukjae, Donghae states, and the receptionist raises her head to take a good look at Donghae. Do you have an appointment, she asks, and Donghae shakes his head hesitantly. She directs him to another floor, where Hyukjae’s secretary is stationed at, and Donghae finds himself in a daze as he looks at the secretary now, in the face.
Yes sir, Mr Lee is currently out, he will be back shortly, so will you please take a seat there and wait sir, the secretary states, without even giving him a glance, and Donghae knows, that him coming without a prior appointment is rash of him, but he’s desperate, he wants to see Hyukjae and see how similar he is to Eunhyuk, and if there’s a possibility of him finding what he really wants in Hyukja-
Donghae.
Donghae turns his head around, and he looks at the unmoving figure standing a distance away from him, who has just called out his name.
So similar, is the first thought Donghae holds, and he walks forward. Hyukjae walks a little closer too, and there’s this silence that stretches between them. Hyukjae clears his throat awkwardly, and his gaze drops to the photograph Donghae is clutching at, and he lifts his gaze.
Eunhyuk told you, Hyukjae surmises, and Donghae nods.
Are..are you..free tonight, Donghae stumbles, and Hyukjae’s lips twitch in this very familiar way that Donghae swears he once saw it before. A smile slowly spreads across Hyukjae’s face, and Hyukjae nods, and Donghae feels that somewhere, Eunhyuk is smiling at the both of them, at the possibility of something new.
-----
A/N: :)Oh right, happy belated birthday to bambaya (although this is not your birthday fic) and happy birthday to eunhaelover and grace_uni. :)