What Medical School Doesn't Train You For
Title: What Medical School Doesn't Train You For (4/?)
Author: xoxo_nat_xx
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae (and several other ninja pairings)
Ratings: PG
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Angst (in the future)
Summary: Donghae's the new intern at this prestigious hospital, and he's one of the best medical students produced from his school. He thinks he is prepared for whatever that comes his way, anything, from that emergency surgical procedure to dealing with the aftermath of accidents, he has everything sailing smoothly. But Eunhyuk comes in and sticks out like a sore thumb, and disrupts Donghae's schedule, who soon falls into pieces. Does medical school really train you for everything, or is the real experience out there, after all?
“Eunhyuk….Eunhyuk…” A female murmurs and sobs at the same time, and Donghae is intrigued; it is already eight at night and most visitors have already left the hospital. He reaches the corner, and someone dashes past him, clearly in tears. A little confused, yet annoyed, Donghae frowns at the departing figure, who seems too bothered to even apologise after nearly knocking into several patients.
Turning around the corner, Donghae enters the ward almost immediately, and Eunhyuk is sitting on his bed, motionless, staring at the moon outside. Donghae knows, by instinct and gut feeling, that Eunhyuk knows his presence, from the way Eunhyuk tenses just a little, and flinches. So he leans casually against the doorway, crossing his arms as he waits patiently for Eunhyuk to break the silence.
After a short while, Eunhyuk sighs, and he drops his gaze to his bed. His shoulders slump slightly, before he inhales deeply and straighten up again, nodding his head once to signify that he is ready to talk.
“That was…” Donghae starts, and another sigh cuts him off almost instantly.
“My sister. She was crying because I seem unresponsive to whatever was going to my body, and she thinks that I probably don’t care anymore.” Eunhyuk states in a monotone, and he raises his head to meet Donghae’s gaze.
Donghae is taken aback; he has never seen someone with such expressionless and dead eyes, and he was certainly not expecting this from Eunhyuk, definitely. His frown deepens as he contemplates the situation, twisting his mouth as he doesn’t know what to say.
“Well…I guess she is just concerned and wants you to look forward to recovery-“
“She doesn’t need to shower me with all this care and attention all the while. Seriously, it’s getting a little suffocating. I don’t have to worry over my own body every single minute of my life; it isn’t worth it, the matter of months for my lifespan is no longer significant. There’s no use crying over such a thing; it’s irritating the hell out of me, I cannot stand it anymore. And she has no right to force me to act like I’m worried for my own life as well, when I am not.” Eunhyuk finishes, and switches his gaze elsewhere.
There’s this inexplicable surge of anger rising in Donghae as soon as Eunhyuk finished; he doesn’t understand why, but there is this urge to grab Eunhyuk by his shoulders and shake some sense into him, no matter how hard it takes for him. Donghae lowers his arms, and he tries his best to calm himself down, even though it is to no avail. Unable to let it simmer within him, he takes large strides towards Eunhyuk, and the words just come out of his mouth without any bidding.
“But she’s your sister! She is allowed to show you care and concern! Don’t you think you are a little too selfish? She’s worried; everybody is worried, and yet you sit here unfazed, and still blaming your sister for showering unnecessary attention? What kind of person are you?” Donghae exhales sharply, his chest rising in quick motions, and he realizes he is standing right beside Eunhyuk’s bed now.
Eunhyuk whirls around so his body is facing Donghae, and his eyes are blazing with fury, which makes Donghae feel a little fear, but he stands his ground, and they start a glaring match.
“You never experienced what I have undergone the past 1 year and 2 months, you don’t know what it feels like to be inundated with such attention. I want to take care of myself, but it’s not allowing me to! You think it’s so easy? You think you know? Do you even understand?” Eunhyuk snarls, and Donghae spots out of his peripheral vision that Eunhyuk is clutching at his blanket a little too tightly.
There’s neither fear nor anger in Eunhyuk’s tone, just pure exasperation, Donghae notes. Some part of his mind wonders at what Eunhyuk has just said, and he wonders at the way his whole family, including him, has been protecting Henry all this while. He wonders if Henry feels tired and sick of all this as well, if Henry feels the same as Eunhyuk. Donghae snaps out of his thoughts instantaneously as Eunhyuk exhales harshly, gripping his blanket and flinging it to the foot of his bed.
“But still!” Donghae continues, and yet there is this uncertainty that is evident in his voice, and he hates himself for that. Somehow he feels as if he can identify with Eunhyuk, although his rational side is telling him that everything Eunhyuk just said is wrong, totally, absolutely wrong. No one should refuse their family’s concern, no matter how much it gets. But when he recalls his teenage periods, Donghae finds himself thinking along the same lines as Eunhyuk.
“Eunhyuk! I heard from Hankyung that…” Someone barges in, and Donghae turns around to find Heechul, panting and very obviously out-of-breath. Heechul stops, however, before he can complete his sentence, and he draws himself up to tilt his head at the sight before him. There’s this tense atmosphere that is almost tangible, Donghae thinks, and he nods his head at Heechul to indicate that he is done here. Throwing one last look at Eunhyuk, who is looking right out of the window, he slips out of the ward, with a sigh on his lips.
“Heechul, I know you are close to Hankyung, but I thought patient’s particulars should be kept confidential? Don’t go all scandalous on me now.” Donghae hears Eunhyuk states.
“What!” Donghae then hears Heechul splutters. “I’m just being nice and coming here to laugh at you!” And Donghae gets too far away from the ward to hear any more bits of the conversation.
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Donghae is resting at the table in the pantry, his head buried in his palms. He doesn’t know what made him that angry just now, and doctors definitely do not lose their cool in front of patients, especially in front of patients like Eunhyuk. Silently berating himself, he raps his own head with his knuckles, a little annoyed with himself.
He notices that there is a shadow at the door, but he doesn’t raise his head to acknowledge whoever that is. He is simply too drained, physically and emotionally, he cannot remember when his last sleep was. His world feels dead, and everything feels numb at this instant, the person can either make himself or herself known, or just step out of the doorway and stop casting that shadow in his way.
“You’re dying.”
Donghae raises his head, and Heechul walks in, the usual smirk on his face absent, replaced with an absolutely solemn and serious expression.
“Yeah I know. My cells are dying right this instant.” Donghae counters, and he swipes his arms, further emphasizing his statement. Heechul stares at his arm, and Donghae wonders if the both of them can see the microscopic cells dropping off his arm, fading into oblivion. And he wonders if life is like that; if everyone will be forgotten when they die.
“Quit joking.” Heechul states, and Donghae raises his eyebrows. He tilts his head quizzically, and Heechul rolls his eyes for effect.
“What will you do when you hear this piece of news?” Heechul asks. Donghae shrugs his shoulders, and is promptly rewarded with a smack in his forearm. Rolling his eyes in his palms, because he knows no one messes with Heechul from the very first day, he sighs, fiddling with his cup of coffee on the table.
“Shocked, stunned? Find out more about my situation? If there is something to cure my illness?” Donghae replies, and Heechul nods, as if satisfied.
“And so, if, let’s say if, if you have to go for monthly check ups to see if your condition is worsening, and the next week the doctor tells you that there may be hope for you, what will you do?”
“Ask him if it’s true? And if it works, go for it?” Donghae states, and he is surprised to see Heechul pull on a contemplative look.
“Let’s say after one month of undergoing the supposed treatment that will heal you, to find out that it doesn’t work?” Heechul asks again, and before Donghae can utter a single word Heechul cuts in again.
“And to find this scene replaying in front of you for countless of times, for at least one whole year? How will you feel? To feel like you have hope, but get it snatched away from you like giving you one swift punch, and dealing with this for 1 year, 2 months, and 7 days? How will you feel?”
Donghae opens his mouth, but no words escape. It doesn’t take a genius to understand what Heechul is implying; but Donghae feels himself positively break into pieces as he digests the news that has once happened to Eunhyuk. It feels so familiar to him, like it has all happened before. His heart will, of course, feel numb, and he will no longer have the courage to even hope anymore.
And he thinks he learns the reason to why Eunhyuk is so apathetic, because if Donghae is in the latter’s shoes, he will probably be even colder, withdrawing into himself, and neglecting interaction with anyone, anyone at all. 1 year, 2 months, that is a long time, for anyone to be in the hospital.
“Do you understand now?” Heechul says, a small smile forming. Donghae sighs, and Heechul knows. The latter smirks widely, and cheerfully slaps Donghae across his forearm.
“At least you are not an idiot! I knew my explanation will work somehow.” Heechul grins.
Donghae feels a smile tugging his lips, and he slips into a reluctant smile. Heechul nods, and Donghae mentally thanks him. Both of them settle into their respective thoughts, enjoying their own cup of coffee, until a soft, insistent pinging noise disrupts the both of them. An announcement is quickly made to call for the both of them to the Accident Emergency Department immediately, and their cups are then left, unwanted on the table.
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There is this silence hanging between the three of them, and Donghae doesn’t feel obligated to break it. Kibum is already quiet by nature, and any word spoken now will probably be ignored, or only get one or two words answer from Kibum. Siwon is frowning, and it doesn’t take Donghae much time to know what he is worrying about.
It feels different without Yesung around, without their department head to be there, observing and approving each and every of their actions when someone is wheeled into the department. It doesn’t feel the same when there’s no someone that they can trust in the room, wielding the ultimate authority, giving directions calmly that it feels that everything can be alright in that operation. The head of the hospital has kindly given Yesung some days off, so he can go home and relax, instead of being caught up, tensed, in all this lawsuit cases. However, knowing Yesung, Donghae thinks he will probably be at home nearly all of the time, moping, that is, if he has a home.
And Donghae wonders if Yesung was forced to take leave, or given the option to choose himself.
Siwon sighs, and he leaves the room, volunteering to ensure that the patient is taken to the correct ward. The patient was sent in earlier due to massive blood loss. He went into shock, and he was starting to hallucinate. Donghae had to give him an injection, as well as infuse at least three bags of blood to get him back from the brink of unconsciousness. It didn’t take them long to stop the bleeding from the slash on the wrist. And there are just people who will kill themselves, when some are just trying to live so hard.
Muttering any excuse, Donghae leaves the room, and he walks aimlessly around the hospital, trying to sort out his thoughts. He feels confused; this is the only emotion he can place his finger on, and there are a lot of emotions swimming inside him. They are like fishes; darting here and there in an instant, and Donghae is unable to get a firm grip on any; they escape his grasp when Donghae thinks he almost got them.
A familiar voice floats into his hearing, and Donghae stops in his tracks. He absorbs his surroundings, and he notices that he is in the children’s ward, though he has absolutely no inkling how he reached this portion of the hospital. He stops by at this ward, where the voice is coming from. A little apprehensive and nervous, he pops his head out into the doorway, and he isn’t very surprised to see Eunhyuk in the children’s ward. However, he is surprised to see Eunhyuk reading a story to the children there.
Eunhyuk stops halfway, and closes the book for effect. The children groan, and Donghae hides a grin behind his palm. Eunhyuk shakes his head, and mouths the word ‘No’, and the children’s clamours dissipate. It feels as if the children knew Eunhyuk since a long time ago, in Donghae’s opinion, and he wonders at the closeness of the two parties. As the children climb into their respective beds, Donghae spots a grin tugging at the corner of Eunhyuk’s mouth, and he, himself, smiles unknowingly too.
Eunhyuk then turns towards him, and Donghae freezes. Donghae sees resignation in Eunhyuk’s eyes, and he then knows the latter already knew he was standing there for quite some time. Donghae inclines his head slightly, a little awkward, and the smile fades from his lips as apprehension takes over him again. Eunhyuk wheels his wheelchair over to Donghae, and he stops right in front of the intern.
“Uhm. I didn’t mean to, just now, about two hours ago, I didn’t mean to…” Donghae trails off, and Eunhyuk tilts his head upwards.
“It’s fine, Donghae. I don’t have much time left to get angry with you. Might as well spend it on something much more meaningful.” Eunhyuk replies, and instead of feeling insulted, Donghae feels a wave of relief wash over him, and the both of them exchange grins. Gesturing, Eunhyuk motions for Donghae to wheel him back to his ward, and Donghae obliges, playing with the speed of the wheelchair every now and then.
“So, you read bedtime stories to the kids?” Donghae asks, and Eunhyuk nods, relaxed.
“Why?”
“Hmm…because it’s comforting?” Eunhyuk replies evasively, but Donghae isn’t that easily deterred. He stops the wheelchair completely, earning a confused look from Eunhyuk, and he stares right back, determined to weasel the answer out of Eunhyuk.
“Well…I guess everyone needs someone who is older in their lives at times. Someone who is fixed, someone who they can rely on. So I guess I’m theirs? Since I’m always in the hospital anyway, I might as well do something to make myself useful.” Eunhyuk sighs, and Donghae wonders if Eunhyuk lacks someone like that in his life as well.
After a couple of curious glances from several nurses, due to Donghae suddenly slowing the speed down in their presence, Donghae decides to just push at a leisure pace, which Eunhyuk doesn’t seem to mind much. They reach Eunhyuk’s ward, and Eunhyuk suddenly jolts in surprise. There is someone lying on Bed 12, the bed right next to Eunhyuk.
“He wasn’t there when I left earlier.” Eunhyuk murmurs to himself, and Donghae almost feels like rolling his eyes, while laughing at Eunhyuk’s revelation. The patient is lying serenely on the bed, most probably sleeping, with the blanket neatly tugged up to his waist.
“New patient, tried to commit suicide. I wonder why some people do that.” Donghae exhales sharply, and Eunhyuk looks up at him in surprise. He motions for Donghae to wheel him a little closer, and after a short period of observation, he points to the hands of the patient in Bed 12, drawing Donghae’s attention there.
“Look, his hands. They are a little calloused, which means he has been working for quite some time, I would guess construction work. This normally takes place during both day and night, so he can maximize his earnings at this job. Going by the roughness of his hands, he must have been used to this.”
“Then look here.” Eunhyuk continues, pointing to the inner side of the elbow. “So many former injections made at this place. Most probably he has a lot of blood tests done. Look at the paleness on his face, he probably suffers from anemia along with whatever illness he already is suffering from. His illness must be particularly taxing on him, it doesn’t look like it is the first time he tried to cut himself.” Eunhyuk states, pointing to faint scars on the upper arm on the patient.
“And he’s only 17 this year. Still schooling.” Eunhyuk observes, reading from the chart placed near the head of the bed. “If he is still schooling, he must be working at night in order to earn the money. He doesn’t need to work so hard, so his family must be pretty in need of money. Schooling, homework, then work at night, with the stress of his own illness and everything, is it that hard to understand why he wants to die at times? His illness may even be life-threatening in the first place…” Eunhyuk trails off, and Donghae stills a little.
Trying his best to change the subject, Donghae helps Eunhyuk into his own bed, folding the wheelchair neatly at the side.
“How is it that you know so much about a person by just looking?” Donghae asks, curious, and secretly in awe of such observation skills; he never knew that he can know so much about someone by just looking at one’s appearance. Eunhyuk shrugs lightly, and murmurs something about staying long enough in the hospital to learn, from doctors, patients, everything. Donghae feels a little insensitive for bringing the topic up again, and he wonders how Eunhyuk is actually coping with it.
“Did I change your perspective on this person?” Eunhyuk shoots back, and Donghae freezes. He pretends to ignore the question, and Eunhyuk just lies back down on the bed, his back facing Donghae.
Eunhyuk did, Donghae realizes, but he doesn’t want to tell Eunhyuk that. It’s frightening, knowing how someone can change your view on anything at all, immediately, and just so smoothly. It’s like the world can change all of a sudden, although he cannot deny that he admits enjoying the view from Eunhyuk’s perspective. The idea of letting someone influence your views and decisions is still rather scary to Donghae, and he doesn’t want Eunhyuk to find out all his insecurities.
Hearing gentle breathings from both patients, Donghae walks over to Bed 12 and picks up the clipboard hanging there. His eyes scan the board quickly, noting down that the patient’s name is Jinwoo, age 17, and his usual doctor is Hankyung.
Donghae remains motionless for a while, remembering that only a few hours ago, Heechul has barged in to announce something about Hankyung-shii, which is of relevance to Eunhyuk. And then it hits Donghae, no wonder Hankyung-shii sounded so familiar. His department is just a walk away from the A&E department, and Hankyung himself specializes in cardiomyopathy.
And Donghae finds himself hoping that Eunhyuk is not suffering from that.
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A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating this fic for so long! Oh well, here you go! :D Cardiomyopathy is a heart disease, it normally has to deal with the weakening of a specific part of the heart, so yes Hankyung deals with cardiology. You can go wiki it up, and get more information about it, and probably some head-ups on what Eunhyuk is suffering.
Oh yes, I will be involved in this roadshow for the whole of the next week, so no updates next week at all. :( Sorry! I need to earn some money :D It's from 10 to 9, and 6.50 per hour.
Author: xoxo_nat_xx
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae (and several other ninja pairings)
Ratings: PG
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Angst (in the future)
Summary: Donghae's the new intern at this prestigious hospital, and he's one of the best medical students produced from his school. He thinks he is prepared for whatever that comes his way, anything, from that emergency surgical procedure to dealing with the aftermath of accidents, he has everything sailing smoothly. But Eunhyuk comes in and sticks out like a sore thumb, and disrupts Donghae's schedule, who soon falls into pieces. Does medical school really train you for everything, or is the real experience out there, after all?
“Eunhyuk….Eunhyuk…” A female murmurs and sobs at the same time, and Donghae is intrigued; it is already eight at night and most visitors have already left the hospital. He reaches the corner, and someone dashes past him, clearly in tears. A little confused, yet annoyed, Donghae frowns at the departing figure, who seems too bothered to even apologise after nearly knocking into several patients.
Turning around the corner, Donghae enters the ward almost immediately, and Eunhyuk is sitting on his bed, motionless, staring at the moon outside. Donghae knows, by instinct and gut feeling, that Eunhyuk knows his presence, from the way Eunhyuk tenses just a little, and flinches. So he leans casually against the doorway, crossing his arms as he waits patiently for Eunhyuk to break the silence.
After a short while, Eunhyuk sighs, and he drops his gaze to his bed. His shoulders slump slightly, before he inhales deeply and straighten up again, nodding his head once to signify that he is ready to talk.
“That was…” Donghae starts, and another sigh cuts him off almost instantly.
“My sister. She was crying because I seem unresponsive to whatever was going to my body, and she thinks that I probably don’t care anymore.” Eunhyuk states in a monotone, and he raises his head to meet Donghae’s gaze.
Donghae is taken aback; he has never seen someone with such expressionless and dead eyes, and he was certainly not expecting this from Eunhyuk, definitely. His frown deepens as he contemplates the situation, twisting his mouth as he doesn’t know what to say.
“Well…I guess she is just concerned and wants you to look forward to recovery-“
“She doesn’t need to shower me with all this care and attention all the while. Seriously, it’s getting a little suffocating. I don’t have to worry over my own body every single minute of my life; it isn’t worth it, the matter of months for my lifespan is no longer significant. There’s no use crying over such a thing; it’s irritating the hell out of me, I cannot stand it anymore. And she has no right to force me to act like I’m worried for my own life as well, when I am not.” Eunhyuk finishes, and switches his gaze elsewhere.
There’s this inexplicable surge of anger rising in Donghae as soon as Eunhyuk finished; he doesn’t understand why, but there is this urge to grab Eunhyuk by his shoulders and shake some sense into him, no matter how hard it takes for him. Donghae lowers his arms, and he tries his best to calm himself down, even though it is to no avail. Unable to let it simmer within him, he takes large strides towards Eunhyuk, and the words just come out of his mouth without any bidding.
“But she’s your sister! She is allowed to show you care and concern! Don’t you think you are a little too selfish? She’s worried; everybody is worried, and yet you sit here unfazed, and still blaming your sister for showering unnecessary attention? What kind of person are you?” Donghae exhales sharply, his chest rising in quick motions, and he realizes he is standing right beside Eunhyuk’s bed now.
Eunhyuk whirls around so his body is facing Donghae, and his eyes are blazing with fury, which makes Donghae feel a little fear, but he stands his ground, and they start a glaring match.
“You never experienced what I have undergone the past 1 year and 2 months, you don’t know what it feels like to be inundated with such attention. I want to take care of myself, but it’s not allowing me to! You think it’s so easy? You think you know? Do you even understand?” Eunhyuk snarls, and Donghae spots out of his peripheral vision that Eunhyuk is clutching at his blanket a little too tightly.
There’s neither fear nor anger in Eunhyuk’s tone, just pure exasperation, Donghae notes. Some part of his mind wonders at what Eunhyuk has just said, and he wonders at the way his whole family, including him, has been protecting Henry all this while. He wonders if Henry feels tired and sick of all this as well, if Henry feels the same as Eunhyuk. Donghae snaps out of his thoughts instantaneously as Eunhyuk exhales harshly, gripping his blanket and flinging it to the foot of his bed.
“But still!” Donghae continues, and yet there is this uncertainty that is evident in his voice, and he hates himself for that. Somehow he feels as if he can identify with Eunhyuk, although his rational side is telling him that everything Eunhyuk just said is wrong, totally, absolutely wrong. No one should refuse their family’s concern, no matter how much it gets. But when he recalls his teenage periods, Donghae finds himself thinking along the same lines as Eunhyuk.
“Eunhyuk! I heard from Hankyung that…” Someone barges in, and Donghae turns around to find Heechul, panting and very obviously out-of-breath. Heechul stops, however, before he can complete his sentence, and he draws himself up to tilt his head at the sight before him. There’s this tense atmosphere that is almost tangible, Donghae thinks, and he nods his head at Heechul to indicate that he is done here. Throwing one last look at Eunhyuk, who is looking right out of the window, he slips out of the ward, with a sigh on his lips.
“Heechul, I know you are close to Hankyung, but I thought patient’s particulars should be kept confidential? Don’t go all scandalous on me now.” Donghae hears Eunhyuk states.
“What!” Donghae then hears Heechul splutters. “I’m just being nice and coming here to laugh at you!” And Donghae gets too far away from the ward to hear any more bits of the conversation.
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Donghae is resting at the table in the pantry, his head buried in his palms. He doesn’t know what made him that angry just now, and doctors definitely do not lose their cool in front of patients, especially in front of patients like Eunhyuk. Silently berating himself, he raps his own head with his knuckles, a little annoyed with himself.
He notices that there is a shadow at the door, but he doesn’t raise his head to acknowledge whoever that is. He is simply too drained, physically and emotionally, he cannot remember when his last sleep was. His world feels dead, and everything feels numb at this instant, the person can either make himself or herself known, or just step out of the doorway and stop casting that shadow in his way.
“You’re dying.”
Donghae raises his head, and Heechul walks in, the usual smirk on his face absent, replaced with an absolutely solemn and serious expression.
“Yeah I know. My cells are dying right this instant.” Donghae counters, and he swipes his arms, further emphasizing his statement. Heechul stares at his arm, and Donghae wonders if the both of them can see the microscopic cells dropping off his arm, fading into oblivion. And he wonders if life is like that; if everyone will be forgotten when they die.
“Quit joking.” Heechul states, and Donghae raises his eyebrows. He tilts his head quizzically, and Heechul rolls his eyes for effect.
“What will you do when you hear this piece of news?” Heechul asks. Donghae shrugs his shoulders, and is promptly rewarded with a smack in his forearm. Rolling his eyes in his palms, because he knows no one messes with Heechul from the very first day, he sighs, fiddling with his cup of coffee on the table.
“Shocked, stunned? Find out more about my situation? If there is something to cure my illness?” Donghae replies, and Heechul nods, as if satisfied.
“And so, if, let’s say if, if you have to go for monthly check ups to see if your condition is worsening, and the next week the doctor tells you that there may be hope for you, what will you do?”
“Ask him if it’s true? And if it works, go for it?” Donghae states, and he is surprised to see Heechul pull on a contemplative look.
“Let’s say after one month of undergoing the supposed treatment that will heal you, to find out that it doesn’t work?” Heechul asks again, and before Donghae can utter a single word Heechul cuts in again.
“And to find this scene replaying in front of you for countless of times, for at least one whole year? How will you feel? To feel like you have hope, but get it snatched away from you like giving you one swift punch, and dealing with this for 1 year, 2 months, and 7 days? How will you feel?”
Donghae opens his mouth, but no words escape. It doesn’t take a genius to understand what Heechul is implying; but Donghae feels himself positively break into pieces as he digests the news that has once happened to Eunhyuk. It feels so familiar to him, like it has all happened before. His heart will, of course, feel numb, and he will no longer have the courage to even hope anymore.
And he thinks he learns the reason to why Eunhyuk is so apathetic, because if Donghae is in the latter’s shoes, he will probably be even colder, withdrawing into himself, and neglecting interaction with anyone, anyone at all. 1 year, 2 months, that is a long time, for anyone to be in the hospital.
“Do you understand now?” Heechul says, a small smile forming. Donghae sighs, and Heechul knows. The latter smirks widely, and cheerfully slaps Donghae across his forearm.
“At least you are not an idiot! I knew my explanation will work somehow.” Heechul grins.
Donghae feels a smile tugging his lips, and he slips into a reluctant smile. Heechul nods, and Donghae mentally thanks him. Both of them settle into their respective thoughts, enjoying their own cup of coffee, until a soft, insistent pinging noise disrupts the both of them. An announcement is quickly made to call for the both of them to the Accident Emergency Department immediately, and their cups are then left, unwanted on the table.
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There is this silence hanging between the three of them, and Donghae doesn’t feel obligated to break it. Kibum is already quiet by nature, and any word spoken now will probably be ignored, or only get one or two words answer from Kibum. Siwon is frowning, and it doesn’t take Donghae much time to know what he is worrying about.
It feels different without Yesung around, without their department head to be there, observing and approving each and every of their actions when someone is wheeled into the department. It doesn’t feel the same when there’s no someone that they can trust in the room, wielding the ultimate authority, giving directions calmly that it feels that everything can be alright in that operation. The head of the hospital has kindly given Yesung some days off, so he can go home and relax, instead of being caught up, tensed, in all this lawsuit cases. However, knowing Yesung, Donghae thinks he will probably be at home nearly all of the time, moping, that is, if he has a home.
And Donghae wonders if Yesung was forced to take leave, or given the option to choose himself.
Siwon sighs, and he leaves the room, volunteering to ensure that the patient is taken to the correct ward. The patient was sent in earlier due to massive blood loss. He went into shock, and he was starting to hallucinate. Donghae had to give him an injection, as well as infuse at least three bags of blood to get him back from the brink of unconsciousness. It didn’t take them long to stop the bleeding from the slash on the wrist. And there are just people who will kill themselves, when some are just trying to live so hard.
Muttering any excuse, Donghae leaves the room, and he walks aimlessly around the hospital, trying to sort out his thoughts. He feels confused; this is the only emotion he can place his finger on, and there are a lot of emotions swimming inside him. They are like fishes; darting here and there in an instant, and Donghae is unable to get a firm grip on any; they escape his grasp when Donghae thinks he almost got them.
A familiar voice floats into his hearing, and Donghae stops in his tracks. He absorbs his surroundings, and he notices that he is in the children’s ward, though he has absolutely no inkling how he reached this portion of the hospital. He stops by at this ward, where the voice is coming from. A little apprehensive and nervous, he pops his head out into the doorway, and he isn’t very surprised to see Eunhyuk in the children’s ward. However, he is surprised to see Eunhyuk reading a story to the children there.
Eunhyuk stops halfway, and closes the book for effect. The children groan, and Donghae hides a grin behind his palm. Eunhyuk shakes his head, and mouths the word ‘No’, and the children’s clamours dissipate. It feels as if the children knew Eunhyuk since a long time ago, in Donghae’s opinion, and he wonders at the closeness of the two parties. As the children climb into their respective beds, Donghae spots a grin tugging at the corner of Eunhyuk’s mouth, and he, himself, smiles unknowingly too.
Eunhyuk then turns towards him, and Donghae freezes. Donghae sees resignation in Eunhyuk’s eyes, and he then knows the latter already knew he was standing there for quite some time. Donghae inclines his head slightly, a little awkward, and the smile fades from his lips as apprehension takes over him again. Eunhyuk wheels his wheelchair over to Donghae, and he stops right in front of the intern.
“Uhm. I didn’t mean to, just now, about two hours ago, I didn’t mean to…” Donghae trails off, and Eunhyuk tilts his head upwards.
“It’s fine, Donghae. I don’t have much time left to get angry with you. Might as well spend it on something much more meaningful.” Eunhyuk replies, and instead of feeling insulted, Donghae feels a wave of relief wash over him, and the both of them exchange grins. Gesturing, Eunhyuk motions for Donghae to wheel him back to his ward, and Donghae obliges, playing with the speed of the wheelchair every now and then.
“So, you read bedtime stories to the kids?” Donghae asks, and Eunhyuk nods, relaxed.
“Why?”
“Hmm…because it’s comforting?” Eunhyuk replies evasively, but Donghae isn’t that easily deterred. He stops the wheelchair completely, earning a confused look from Eunhyuk, and he stares right back, determined to weasel the answer out of Eunhyuk.
“Well…I guess everyone needs someone who is older in their lives at times. Someone who is fixed, someone who they can rely on. So I guess I’m theirs? Since I’m always in the hospital anyway, I might as well do something to make myself useful.” Eunhyuk sighs, and Donghae wonders if Eunhyuk lacks someone like that in his life as well.
After a couple of curious glances from several nurses, due to Donghae suddenly slowing the speed down in their presence, Donghae decides to just push at a leisure pace, which Eunhyuk doesn’t seem to mind much. They reach Eunhyuk’s ward, and Eunhyuk suddenly jolts in surprise. There is someone lying on Bed 12, the bed right next to Eunhyuk.
“He wasn’t there when I left earlier.” Eunhyuk murmurs to himself, and Donghae almost feels like rolling his eyes, while laughing at Eunhyuk’s revelation. The patient is lying serenely on the bed, most probably sleeping, with the blanket neatly tugged up to his waist.
“New patient, tried to commit suicide. I wonder why some people do that.” Donghae exhales sharply, and Eunhyuk looks up at him in surprise. He motions for Donghae to wheel him a little closer, and after a short period of observation, he points to the hands of the patient in Bed 12, drawing Donghae’s attention there.
“Look, his hands. They are a little calloused, which means he has been working for quite some time, I would guess construction work. This normally takes place during both day and night, so he can maximize his earnings at this job. Going by the roughness of his hands, he must have been used to this.”
“Then look here.” Eunhyuk continues, pointing to the inner side of the elbow. “So many former injections made at this place. Most probably he has a lot of blood tests done. Look at the paleness on his face, he probably suffers from anemia along with whatever illness he already is suffering from. His illness must be particularly taxing on him, it doesn’t look like it is the first time he tried to cut himself.” Eunhyuk states, pointing to faint scars on the upper arm on the patient.
“And he’s only 17 this year. Still schooling.” Eunhyuk observes, reading from the chart placed near the head of the bed. “If he is still schooling, he must be working at night in order to earn the money. He doesn’t need to work so hard, so his family must be pretty in need of money. Schooling, homework, then work at night, with the stress of his own illness and everything, is it that hard to understand why he wants to die at times? His illness may even be life-threatening in the first place…” Eunhyuk trails off, and Donghae stills a little.
Trying his best to change the subject, Donghae helps Eunhyuk into his own bed, folding the wheelchair neatly at the side.
“How is it that you know so much about a person by just looking?” Donghae asks, curious, and secretly in awe of such observation skills; he never knew that he can know so much about someone by just looking at one’s appearance. Eunhyuk shrugs lightly, and murmurs something about staying long enough in the hospital to learn, from doctors, patients, everything. Donghae feels a little insensitive for bringing the topic up again, and he wonders how Eunhyuk is actually coping with it.
“Did I change your perspective on this person?” Eunhyuk shoots back, and Donghae freezes. He pretends to ignore the question, and Eunhyuk just lies back down on the bed, his back facing Donghae.
Eunhyuk did, Donghae realizes, but he doesn’t want to tell Eunhyuk that. It’s frightening, knowing how someone can change your view on anything at all, immediately, and just so smoothly. It’s like the world can change all of a sudden, although he cannot deny that he admits enjoying the view from Eunhyuk’s perspective. The idea of letting someone influence your views and decisions is still rather scary to Donghae, and he doesn’t want Eunhyuk to find out all his insecurities.
Hearing gentle breathings from both patients, Donghae walks over to Bed 12 and picks up the clipboard hanging there. His eyes scan the board quickly, noting down that the patient’s name is Jinwoo, age 17, and his usual doctor is Hankyung.
Donghae remains motionless for a while, remembering that only a few hours ago, Heechul has barged in to announce something about Hankyung-shii, which is of relevance to Eunhyuk. And then it hits Donghae, no wonder Hankyung-shii sounded so familiar. His department is just a walk away from the A&E department, and Hankyung himself specializes in cardiomyopathy.
And Donghae finds himself hoping that Eunhyuk is not suffering from that.
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A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating this fic for so long! Oh well, here you go! :D Cardiomyopathy is a heart disease, it normally has to deal with the weakening of a specific part of the heart, so yes Hankyung deals with cardiology. You can go wiki it up, and get more information about it, and probably some head-ups on what Eunhyuk is suffering.
Oh yes, I will be involved in this roadshow for the whole of the next week, so no updates next week at all. :( Sorry! I need to earn some money :D It's from 10 to 9, and 6.50 per hour.