nostalgia at its finest
Still awake in the wee hours of the morning getting high.
I spent way too long typing everything I've had on my mind, procrastinating of course on making sure I have my presentation ready in a few hours, on a blog that I haven't used in years. Pressed a button and closed the tab on accident, didn't save anything but the first sentence. Fuck. I'm too high and too tired.
It felt good to write though, even though I can't go back and read it now. I've decided I don't write nearly enough anymore on my own time. I spend all my time writing research papers on topics I don't give a shit about, let alone giving me any kind of passion or emotion to really want to write anything.
I've found myself myself getting older and more and more I feel like I'm losing my sense of purpose and direction rather than the other way around, I realized I've forgotten the things I enjoy doing, am good at doing, and strive to get better at. In the current place I'm at with my life, I feel like I've come to a stand still. I feel like I'm doing things methodically. I'm way too young to feel this old.
Writing is one of those things I love doing. I've decided I need to write, for myself. It doesn't matter what it's about, whether it be how I had a shitty day or a rant about society. Just to do it, to sort things out in my head, to think about things that matter to me. I need to get myself out of this funk...and I need to go to bed.
I spent way too long typing everything I've had on my mind, procrastinating of course on making sure I have my presentation ready in a few hours, on a blog that I haven't used in years. Pressed a button and closed the tab on accident, didn't save anything but the first sentence. Fuck. I'm too high and too tired.
It felt good to write though, even though I can't go back and read it now. I've decided I don't write nearly enough anymore on my own time. I spend all my time writing research papers on topics I don't give a shit about, let alone giving me any kind of passion or emotion to really want to write anything.
I've found myself myself getting older and more and more I feel like I'm losing my sense of purpose and direction rather than the other way around, I realized I've forgotten the things I enjoy doing, am good at doing, and strive to get better at. In the current place I'm at with my life, I feel like I've come to a stand still. I feel like I'm doing things methodically. I'm way too young to feel this old.
Writing is one of those things I love doing. I've decided I need to write, for myself. It doesn't matter what it's about, whether it be how I had a shitty day or a rant about society. Just to do it, to sort things out in my head, to think about things that matter to me. I need to get myself out of this funk...and I need to go to bed.