(no subject)
anonymous, wordless, headache, thoughtful, dreaming of thick, foamy butterscotch caffeine, later procured for my purposes. perpetually longing for a sweet high, clutching my cardboard-cupped ennui. public bathrooms, hard screeching girls in pearly, scaly powder pinning their exterior together for their unripe plump boys exuding false machismo.
Anais said, "I must not let Mother develop in me, by constant bickering ... all parents are cannibals anyway." the day she develops in me I leap from a fast-moving sportscar, two warm-hued blurs diverging.
the birds in the labyrinth of grey, dark saturated streets, umbrellas of stark red bloody shades, elderly buildings bearing lurid lewd signs, aging crones in pastel suits, pearls and gloves. performances, amateur adulations of the great casanova known as professional acting, in a theatre wherein the bulbs of the last four letters were burnt out.
lost in green exit signs and aching bosoms and fucking electric cities and quivering quills. in a cheap hotel room without him, missing languorously.
sitting within the fold of a moreton bay fig embellished with a green calligraphic scum, cold, boughs hollowing, becoming weightless and precariously poised, attached to the knotted, twisted antique trunks in the damp, dark silt. I wish I had delicate paper flowers t adorn my fingers instead of a pen and its contagious contents. threaded with nostalgia, a tapestry pertaining to my early, unfurling years, a delectable, suckling familiarity. beautiful girls in red and white gingham and succinct stilettoes. a little too pensive to be peculiar and fuck it and ravish etiquette and its decorative idiots. flat yellow leaves of the dying tree and a sullen, ochre, sallow, open solitude.
elaborate performances at an opulent theatre, plush pink seats.
this was a tedious entry but presently eccentricities are too personal to divulge.
i refuse to speak, audibly, legibly, but mutter and gluttony for poppy-smoke and poppycock and so i shall hush and hum and don my apple-coloured corset and have nought to do with you.