What am i so afriad of?
Okay so i am having a dork day/life. Last night i seriously had an
elaborate dream about office supplies... i was in a never ending office
supply room that had a truly amazing variety of highlighter colors. And
that dream made me really happy. Is that scary?
I have this ridiculous crush on this intern in Central Files (at the ( Read more... )
I have this ridiculous crush on this intern in Central Files (at the ( Read more... )
OH yes a crush. haha. IM me for details!
1. That is quite a flattering reputation... but actually it scares me! Oh, if people only knew... the imperfection list is endless! There are many things about myself that i am "unhappy" with... but nonthing i am not proud of. I honestly feel like wheter or not i like who i was at certain points of my life.. it was the right thing for me at the time. I think that if i went back and looked at the past skimming for pride issues, it would be really unhealthy or something. Anyway, to sum up things i am unhappy with about myself, it would all boil down to the fact that i think most of the time i try too hard to mantain an appearance of "everything is always absolutely delightful." And i don't like that about myself because it makes it hard for me to truly get to know people... because i rarely share my frustrations, worries, personal life. I never let myself be vulnerable. Lots of times I feel like i am waiting for my life to happen to me... when really it is probably just passing me by while I am still trying to get up enough courage to say something... and that makes me unhappy. Like why can't i just put myself out there? take a risk? There are days when i feel so confined this 'flawless' person on the outside, and half of my own formal, proper, traditional personality (my feminist and traditional self are always at war) that i wonder why i don't just walk around with high heels, and striped apron, offering people homemade fricking cookies.
(haha... that turned really cynical.. lo siento!)
2. Haha, you are evil! Lets see... i think i did find Mr. O attractive at first way back in the summer (band camp) before 9th grade... when he was in his Beatles phase... but i defenitily grew put of that. Actually by the time we graduated i even saw him way more as a crazy friend than a teacher.
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