Layoffs
My dad just got layed off. His company works with a lot of defense stuff, and apparently the money from the war is putting a serious drain on the defense programs, so they've lost almost all of their contracts. He doesn't think the company as a whole is even going to last much longer. I've seen the figures for the cost of the war, the cost of the ammunition alone, but I'm not really starting to think about it until it's begun to directly affect me. It was just an abstract figure; now it's the reason for my dad losing his job even though he's been one of the best employees they've ever had.
Still, it's not all bad. He's going to get two more paychecks and they're helping him build up his resume to encompass the experience he's gotten while working there. Plus, this is sort of an opportunity for him. He's going to try to make more of a living off of his music. He's a classical guitarist; he's going to try to play weddings and stuff for now. I told him that getting a part-time job would still be a good idea, since my mom is a musician, folk musician, granted, but the two have similar problems when it comes to gigs falling through.
I feel sort of selfish in that I'm a tad upset about him buying a four thousand dollar guitar last week and leaving us with just enough for groceries, but he can sell it for more than that if we get in a real pinch, so it's alright. But we're moving down to basic cable. Oh, horror, I can't watch uncensored Terminator movies anymore, WHAT EVER WILL I DO.
We'll be fine, I know it, I'm just a little worried all the same. I can't help it. Anxiety's been flaring up lately for no specific reason, and then actual reasons to be feeling that way have been piling up in my lap and just adding to it. My breathing tic's gotten so bad that I'm half hyperventilating in all my classes and driving all my classmates crazy. A bunch of them sit behind me and imitate me while giggling. I'd be pissed, but I'm putting too much effort into regulating my breathing enough to stay consious.
We all have peaks and troughs; I just happen to be in a trough. I know it'll get better, it always does, but that doesn't prevent it from getting to me.
Still, it's not all bad. He's going to get two more paychecks and they're helping him build up his resume to encompass the experience he's gotten while working there. Plus, this is sort of an opportunity for him. He's going to try to make more of a living off of his music. He's a classical guitarist; he's going to try to play weddings and stuff for now. I told him that getting a part-time job would still be a good idea, since my mom is a musician, folk musician, granted, but the two have similar problems when it comes to gigs falling through.
I feel sort of selfish in that I'm a tad upset about him buying a four thousand dollar guitar last week and leaving us with just enough for groceries, but he can sell it for more than that if we get in a real pinch, so it's alright. But we're moving down to basic cable. Oh, horror, I can't watch uncensored Terminator movies anymore, WHAT EVER WILL I DO.
We'll be fine, I know it, I'm just a little worried all the same. I can't help it. Anxiety's been flaring up lately for no specific reason, and then actual reasons to be feeling that way have been piling up in my lap and just adding to it. My breathing tic's gotten so bad that I'm half hyperventilating in all my classes and driving all my classmates crazy. A bunch of them sit behind me and imitate me while giggling. I'd be pissed, but I'm putting too much effort into regulating my breathing enough to stay consious.
We all have peaks and troughs; I just happen to be in a trough. I know it'll get better, it always does, but that doesn't prevent it from getting to me.