(no subject)
It goes to show how not exercising for a couple of weeks makes me lose weight. well not weight exactly but that slightly fuller look I was striving for. I constantly look at my forearms and wrists as though if I do it long enough it will make them bigger. sigh... I'm infected with that disease too. the shallow "please god make me look better" disease.
Something interesting happened on myspace a couple days ago. A guy I had a falling out with 4 years back has been on/off myspace, and I discovered a newer myspace of his. I really liked this guy but never told him, and I don't know if he is/is not gay or has gay tendencies, however you define bisexuality. I think about him a lot. Well it seems like he has these myspace(s) without his girlfriend's knowledge of (it)them - player. Or so I'm choosing to believe. But I get this urge...it's been so long! and I just don't know! I have to know something! I was thinking of friend requesting him. The only thing holding me back is that I could be invading his personal space and tolerance of my known-to-him gayness. hahahahahaa...hum.
About matt [ the guy from new jersey ] I've been acting the same way - getting angry at no contact and then stupid over any attention I get. Man, that's a bad omen - I think if it were going to work in the future I wouldn't even HAVE to act this way, or maybe I'm just neurotic. Something interesting did happen though, as I spoke to him last night, I said I had to get up early for school the next day and he said the same thing, but except for school it was the gym. he joked "that way I can look good when I undress for you" and that flatters me but lol I don't want him to feel he has do to that to win my approval or anything, I love his body the way it is. I actually also wouldn't want him to do that because I don't know if I'd feel the same way if his body were all sculpted and greek-god-like. Probably a lot more insecure. lol this may be bad but I don't want him to look better than me! I'm horrible. but still! I'll support him in what he does but throw as many cheeseburgers in his way... ... [just kidding] =)
I'm still dealing with the std problem. I'm calling some places around this week to find out more information about what I can do. and the job...because I'll need that if I have to pay for antibiotics *shudder* That sonofabitch still hasn't been online to reply to my emails on myspace and gmail...I feel so betrayed, even though it was my fault. But that's the way it goes when you play risky.
I think I'll exercise later today.
Something interesting happened on myspace a couple days ago. A guy I had a falling out with 4 years back has been on/off myspace, and I discovered a newer myspace of his. I really liked this guy but never told him, and I don't know if he is/is not gay or has gay tendencies, however you define bisexuality. I think about him a lot. Well it seems like he has these myspace(s) without his girlfriend's knowledge of (it)them - player. Or so I'm choosing to believe. But I get this urge...it's been so long! and I just don't know! I have to know something! I was thinking of friend requesting him. The only thing holding me back is that I could be invading his personal space and tolerance of my known-to-him gayness. hahahahahaa...hum.
About matt [ the guy from new jersey ] I've been acting the same way - getting angry at no contact and then stupid over any attention I get. Man, that's a bad omen - I think if it were going to work in the future I wouldn't even HAVE to act this way, or maybe I'm just neurotic. Something interesting did happen though, as I spoke to him last night, I said I had to get up early for school the next day and he said the same thing, but except for school it was the gym. he joked "that way I can look good when I undress for you" and that flatters me but lol I don't want him to feel he has do to that to win my approval or anything, I love his body the way it is. I actually also wouldn't want him to do that because I don't know if I'd feel the same way if his body were all sculpted and greek-god-like. Probably a lot more insecure. lol this may be bad but I don't want him to look better than me! I'm horrible. but still! I'll support him in what he does but throw as many cheeseburgers in his way... ... [just kidding] =)
I'm still dealing with the std problem. I'm calling some places around this week to find out more information about what I can do. and the job...because I'll need that if I have to pay for antibiotics *shudder* That sonofabitch still hasn't been online to reply to my emails on myspace and gmail...I feel so betrayed, even though it was my fault. But that's the way it goes when you play risky.
I think I'll exercise later today.