Feb 22, 2008 10:50
so things with Brandon are progressing nicely. I'm really not worried about anything at the moment and really don't have any complaints to make, which is a positive thing to say and quite a contrast from my past experiences. he is very sweet to me.
so krystle is going to college now. To be honest with you I don't think that she will stick with it; I Can't see her doing the kind of studying that I do. But all the same I hope that she will.
Today I met krystle's friend geoff and he's cool. he took shelae, krystle and me for taco bell which I always approve of someone who will give us a ride :)
Classes have begun. at first I was a little concerned with how things were going to play out, but so far so good. I can't believe I have to take english. If only cal state would accept my AP exam score. I am taking English 1B, Math 1B, Astronomy 1A, and spanish 1.
spanish is a really fun class. I had imagined all this stuff going wrong and all these bad things happening, and all these altercations I could have with the teacher because really I am too shy for my own good. I know it doesn't look that way sometimes but I sure do work at it to make it look otherwise. it's necessary to succeed.
I started to work out more often again. these last few days I haven't only because I have been so incredibly busy. 16 units, whhyyy???? at least I'm not nutty enough to do 21, like this other guy I knew did.
anyway, another issue that keeps coming up is 'rutgersumatt'. I guess since I'm so busy with school, my boyfriend, my friends, and staying away from my dad, that I think of him less, but it just doesn't wanna go away. I still remember when he said "don't" when I said that I needed to stop. this still sucks so much and I don't know what to feel, what the proper emotion to go by is. I know I can't describe what is happening to me or if I'm becoming a horrible person because of this. but really. I hate his success as a human being. it makes me feel low for some reason. and because I'm so sentimental concerning objects, songs, movies, etc. with people, math and calculus just makes me think of him and I hate it. I want him to go away and leave me alone but he was right when he told me that he was ubiquitous. all I know is that christine had a similar experience with her ex patrick and we are going to live through it, I know we are. to think I was actually going to see him, how stupid I was. UGHH.
aside from that, I suppose I am hungry and I will go get a bite to eat.