(no subject)
just some reflections here before we have to leave to confession *dun dun dun*
alrighty where to start... right, first we'll start with jesse. he's still an asshole, just like before. I didn't expect much to change, just that he would be lonely with his relationship ending - of course that would be why he would get back on myspace, because then he can look for someone new. Maybe desperation is what drove him to me again. I'm not sure. I was looking for someone to spend a little time with last night, since I had to return a library book to RCC [and pay my huge fine] but that ended up being worthless because when I got there the library was closed. Anyway I called around, and one of those people I intuitively thought may hang out with me was jesse. I'd never met him in all the years I've known him, so I figured maybe that night would be the night. I called him up and he answered, the first thing he says is that it's over between him and his then 'thing.' then I propose that we meet up like we'd planned for so long because I was finally able to get out and use the bus, and he has a car.
Unfortunately, he had to be the one to deny the oppurtunity again. he gave some lame b.s. excuse that he was at his friend's house and that he needed time to recover from his loss, and that if he hung out with me that he would only drive me away. I said of course not, and that I was there to listen and he says that 'that's what all the other ones said.' If he's still holding the fact that I stopped talking to him for a while out of boredom and exhaustion, he has no right to do that. I've figured out that you can't make people call you every day to talk every day as many times as you can a day. you will run out of things to say, things to tell them, and they will also run out of things to say and things to tell you. it becomes a chore to, by an implied schedule, continue to talk to them and force them to talk to you at the same time. I don't believe in 'space' but do give them some breathe room. They'll continute to want to talk to you at their own pace, when things happen they will call, etc. and I think I need to tell this to jesse so he understands. every time after this incident he's held it against me and not cooperated and turned into a seemingly big slut. I hate that he even assumes like we'll become this 'thing.' I just want to hang out with him is all.
but that excuse? I log in this morning and find a bulletin from him about how it sucks that he has to go to work because he was out all night dancing.
what a fucking piece of shit. I'll update with more later
alrighty where to start... right, first we'll start with jesse. he's still an asshole, just like before. I didn't expect much to change, just that he would be lonely with his relationship ending - of course that would be why he would get back on myspace, because then he can look for someone new. Maybe desperation is what drove him to me again. I'm not sure. I was looking for someone to spend a little time with last night, since I had to return a library book to RCC [and pay my huge fine] but that ended up being worthless because when I got there the library was closed. Anyway I called around, and one of those people I intuitively thought may hang out with me was jesse. I'd never met him in all the years I've known him, so I figured maybe that night would be the night. I called him up and he answered, the first thing he says is that it's over between him and his then 'thing.' then I propose that we meet up like we'd planned for so long because I was finally able to get out and use the bus, and he has a car.
Unfortunately, he had to be the one to deny the oppurtunity again. he gave some lame b.s. excuse that he was at his friend's house and that he needed time to recover from his loss, and that if he hung out with me that he would only drive me away. I said of course not, and that I was there to listen and he says that 'that's what all the other ones said.' If he's still holding the fact that I stopped talking to him for a while out of boredom and exhaustion, he has no right to do that. I've figured out that you can't make people call you every day to talk every day as many times as you can a day. you will run out of things to say, things to tell them, and they will also run out of things to say and things to tell you. it becomes a chore to, by an implied schedule, continue to talk to them and force them to talk to you at the same time. I don't believe in 'space' but do give them some breathe room. They'll continute to want to talk to you at their own pace, when things happen they will call, etc. and I think I need to tell this to jesse so he understands. every time after this incident he's held it against me and not cooperated and turned into a seemingly big slut. I hate that he even assumes like we'll become this 'thing.' I just want to hang out with him is all.
but that excuse? I log in this morning and find a bulletin from him about how it sucks that he has to go to work because he was out all night dancing.
what a fucking piece of shit. I'll update with more later