Introspection
So, I've read a handful of new years introspective E-mails, and now feel like writing one of my own. While reading through other people's entries I could at least get a bit of a feel of where they were at, maybe not entirely relate (though it seems I'm just as lost as everyone else, which is comforting) but at least understand. I have none of that right now, I can go back to 2004-2005, And while I don't really like old chris, I at least know where he was at, I could understand him, It's a nice snapshot. I realized I don't really have that for myself right now, maybe I should work on it.
So, 2012. I feel like 2011 was a year of stasis, With the exception of my trip to Chicago, I haven't really changed, at all. I've been at the same bar, drinking the same thing, living in the same place, same job, same everything. I don't know that I'm someone who is built for consistency, because it's killing me, but I think I needed it.
Lately my brain is constantly moving in two different directions, in the span of about 45 seconds I can contemplate the advantages to stopping drinking entirely, then wish I lived in a specific area because of their drinking culture, and at no point does my brain realize that I can't have both. I am currently the collection of the things I wanted previously and things I want now, and they're at odds, but I don't want to let anything go, so I stay in one place. However I realize this now. So I have to make some choices.
Also, sometimes it's been so long since you've sat down and written a journal entry you forget you're doing it and leave it open in the background at work for like an hour. Now I don't know how to finish this.
Maybe I'll write more? We can take this journey together, me and the like, 4 people still on LJ.
So, 2012. I feel like 2011 was a year of stasis, With the exception of my trip to Chicago, I haven't really changed, at all. I've been at the same bar, drinking the same thing, living in the same place, same job, same everything. I don't know that I'm someone who is built for consistency, because it's killing me, but I think I needed it.
Lately my brain is constantly moving in two different directions, in the span of about 45 seconds I can contemplate the advantages to stopping drinking entirely, then wish I lived in a specific area because of their drinking culture, and at no point does my brain realize that I can't have both. I am currently the collection of the things I wanted previously and things I want now, and they're at odds, but I don't want to let anything go, so I stay in one place. However I realize this now. So I have to make some choices.
Also, sometimes it's been so long since you've sat down and written a journal entry you forget you're doing it and leave it open in the background at work for like an hour. Now I don't know how to finish this.
Maybe I'll write more? We can take this journey together, me and the like, 4 people still on LJ.