Empathy...?
Now...I don't write entries in the morning, but the reason why I'm doing this is because last night a few things happened.
I got to talk with Marlen on MSN a bit, so that made me happy. She said that she was in Winnipeg. We were talking about the sky, the clouds...how we want to fly up into the air and soar~! I was also saying how I think that Wendy was beating herself up over the fact that she seen Marlen at Tim Horton's but she couldn't say good-bye because she was too busy working... I tried perking Wendy up at Wasabi and I told Marlen that. Marlen hopes to talk to her soon. =)
So...really the main reason why I'm typing this is because...well...what is Empathy to you?
Empathy is the capacity to recognize or understand another's state of mind or emotion. It is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes"...etc.
(Not to be confused with Pity, Sympathy or Compassion.)
I was speaking with Andy last night about it. I was telling her how upset I was she didn't spend a lot of time with me this summer. She promised me so much fun and I didn't get any of that. She tells me she can't do anything past Wednesday so that made me, "ahsfjafhjksdhfkjsdhjfks!@#4@52$!1!2@#23@#43!!!!" So...of course I was pissy.
Sure, it sounds like I'm just talking about me, me, me, but that's what I was trying to get through to her. She hasn't been thinking about me and that really hurts. I told her she can't empathize with all of the pain I've been going through and that is what makes me sad/mad/upset/bitter.
Pity is, "Things are bad for you, you seem as though you need help."
Sympathy is, "I'm sorry for your sadness, I wish to help."
Emotional Contagion is, "You feel sad and now I feel sad."
Empathy is, "I recognize how you feel."
Apathy is, "I don't care how you feel. "
Telepathy is, "I read your sadness without you expressing it to me in any normal way."
Schadenfreude is, “Things are bad for you and I feel good about that.”
I wanted to know what Andy was feeling when she hugged me that one time. I really needed that hug so much... I wanted to stay there with her. I wanted time to just freeze, so I have have that comfort forever... It got me so emotional and I desperately held onto her. I didn't want to let her go for my sake...
Andy told me that she hugged me because it looked like I needed it and because she hates to see me cry... So I was thinking, "What does that tell me?" So...did she hug me just for her own satisfaction? I knew that was unlikely and I'm sure I was overthinking things.
She asked me why I was asking so many damn questions. Perhaps I can't be satisfied with asking her so many things, it seems... I'm always going to have questions, and things can't hold up to my expections; that can't be a good thing... I think I still needed answers to see if she still cared, that I still mattered... It's so difficult to believe when I'm not treated well, though...
I believe that I aquired the same jealousy she once had over me when I would go do things with my friends. I feel alone and that I'm suffering on my own...
Andy finally realized... She realized... Finally...
I told her since she didn't understand, that's what made me suffer even more... I suppose even with all of the definitions for empathy she still wouldn't understand... I hate her emotional intelligence... I really do.
She understood that feeling, so I was able to make her understand...just a little.
I'm alone with myself with the worse emotions anyone can ever feel, and that's not an understatement. To be with a broken heart and talking to that person, trying my best to not bring up my own selfish feelings. My heart is being pulled in two opposite directions, like a tug-o-war... I didn't like it when she used the term "broke up" because that sounds so ugly... I see it as just..."ending a relationship" I still hold back on crying (even when talking to her). It was difficult to think she was bothering to put an effort with me when basically she's spending time with everyone else. I put in just as much effort maybe even more for being able to talk with her, even.
I could run right now, far away and just cry myself so much debating whether or not to talk with Andy. It hurts so much, but I need it just as much or I might go crazy. I still do want to know Andy, want to talk with Andy. And even now I keep pouring out my feelings, to this LiveJournal and instant messenger towards her. I hate myself for it. It’s something I shouldn’t be allowed to spill out my emotions over to... LiveJournal, drawings, pieces of writing... It should just be to Andy (in person)...
But I’m glad able one thing: accomplishing to make her understand, which took some of the pain away. I was tired, eyes sore and teary, nose running and not feeling too pretty to rely on a box of tissues... It was time to call it a night...
I was hoping I wouldn't have to hold back on crying that night but, sadly, I did. I was so tired...
I'm spending time with Andy on Tuesday... I want some nice last memories... I want the pain to go away... I want to get over her, but at the same time I don't want to...
I almost forget what it was like to be happy...
I got to talk with Marlen on MSN a bit, so that made me happy. She said that she was in Winnipeg. We were talking about the sky, the clouds...how we want to fly up into the air and soar~! I was also saying how I think that Wendy was beating herself up over the fact that she seen Marlen at Tim Horton's but she couldn't say good-bye because she was too busy working... I tried perking Wendy up at Wasabi and I told Marlen that. Marlen hopes to talk to her soon. =)
So...really the main reason why I'm typing this is because...well...what is Empathy to you?
Empathy is the capacity to recognize or understand another's state of mind or emotion. It is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes"...etc.
(Not to be confused with Pity, Sympathy or Compassion.)
I was speaking with Andy last night about it. I was telling her how upset I was she didn't spend a lot of time with me this summer. She promised me so much fun and I didn't get any of that. She tells me she can't do anything past Wednesday so that made me, "ahsfjafhjksdhfkjsdhjfks!@#4@52$!1!2@#23@#43!!!!" So...of course I was pissy.
Sure, it sounds like I'm just talking about me, me, me, but that's what I was trying to get through to her. She hasn't been thinking about me and that really hurts. I told her she can't empathize with all of the pain I've been going through and that is what makes me sad/mad/upset/bitter.
Pity is, "Things are bad for you, you seem as though you need help."
Sympathy is, "I'm sorry for your sadness, I wish to help."
Emotional Contagion is, "You feel sad and now I feel sad."
Empathy is, "I recognize how you feel."
Apathy is, "I don't care how you feel. "
Telepathy is, "I read your sadness without you expressing it to me in any normal way."
Schadenfreude is, “Things are bad for you and I feel good about that.”
I wanted to know what Andy was feeling when she hugged me that one time. I really needed that hug so much... I wanted to stay there with her. I wanted time to just freeze, so I have have that comfort forever... It got me so emotional and I desperately held onto her. I didn't want to let her go for my sake...
Andy told me that she hugged me because it looked like I needed it and because she hates to see me cry... So I was thinking, "What does that tell me?" So...did she hug me just for her own satisfaction? I knew that was unlikely and I'm sure I was overthinking things.
She asked me why I was asking so many damn questions. Perhaps I can't be satisfied with asking her so many things, it seems... I'm always going to have questions, and things can't hold up to my expections; that can't be a good thing... I think I still needed answers to see if she still cared, that I still mattered... It's so difficult to believe when I'm not treated well, though...
I believe that I aquired the same jealousy she once had over me when I would go do things with my friends. I feel alone and that I'm suffering on my own...
Andy finally realized... She realized... Finally...
I told her since she didn't understand, that's what made me suffer even more... I suppose even with all of the definitions for empathy she still wouldn't understand... I hate her emotional intelligence... I really do.
She understood that feeling, so I was able to make her understand...just a little.
I'm alone with myself with the worse emotions anyone can ever feel, and that's not an understatement. To be with a broken heart and talking to that person, trying my best to not bring up my own selfish feelings. My heart is being pulled in two opposite directions, like a tug-o-war... I didn't like it when she used the term "broke up" because that sounds so ugly... I see it as just..."ending a relationship" I still hold back on crying (even when talking to her). It was difficult to think she was bothering to put an effort with me when basically she's spending time with everyone else. I put in just as much effort maybe even more for being able to talk with her, even.
I could run right now, far away and just cry myself so much debating whether or not to talk with Andy. It hurts so much, but I need it just as much or I might go crazy. I still do want to know Andy, want to talk with Andy. And even now I keep pouring out my feelings, to this LiveJournal and instant messenger towards her. I hate myself for it. It’s something I shouldn’t be allowed to spill out my emotions over to... LiveJournal, drawings, pieces of writing... It should just be to Andy (in person)...
But I’m glad able one thing: accomplishing to make her understand, which took some of the pain away. I was tired, eyes sore and teary, nose running and not feeling too pretty to rely on a box of tissues... It was time to call it a night...
I was hoping I wouldn't have to hold back on crying that night but, sadly, I did. I was so tired...
I'm spending time with Andy on Tuesday... I want some nice last memories... I want the pain to go away... I want to get over her, but at the same time I don't want to...
I almost forget what it was like to be happy...