i had a feeling once that you and i could tell each other everything
There is no part of this that is easy. It gets progressively more difficult, the more details he gives, the revelations that get harder to process, to cope with. He’s asking a lot of his mom with this.
It’s not just telling his mom he’s seeing someone.
“Is she a nice girl from glee club?”
Finn gulps, braces himself. “Uh, not... not a girl, mom.”
She’s at the sink, washing up with her back to him. She keeps scrubbing the plate she’s holding, doesn’t look away from the soapy water. “Okay, Finn. A nice boy from glee club?”
“Yes. Yes, he’s... Mom. It’s not just... There are two of them.”
He doesn’t know how he’s expecting her to react, but he never imagined this stillness, watching the tension creeping up her back and into her shoulders until she’s stiff, frozen.
He wants that to be the end of it, except it can’t be. “Mom, I... I’m dating Kurt and Puck.”
He’s dating his almost step-brother and his best friend. Carole sees Kurt as part of her family now, another son. When they were growing up, Puck came over all the time and he was practically a member of their family too. They called each other bro.
The plate smashes. Carole sobs. From somewhere in the house, Finn can hear Burt calling to check everything’s okay. It’s not, it’s so obviously not, and neither of them say anything so Burt’s going to come into the kitchen and Finn can’t be here when he does. He runs.
He doesn’t know where he’s going until he ends up at Puck’s. He can’t catch his breath and he feels sick and he’s freaking the fuck out, pounding on the door like he needs sanctuary.
Puck opens the door, but instead of inviting Finn inside, he steps out to join him, leaving the door open behind him. He grabs Finn’s hand and walks with him, pacing. Moving helps. Finn’s still shaking from adrenaline, but at least he can breathe properly again.
“Wanna come in?” Puck asks.
Finn nods jerkily.
Puck leads the way to the kitchen. Finn stops in the doorway, can’t force himself to go in. He knows it’s a different house, a different kitchen, that there’s nothing the same about it at all. Puck lets go of his hand to get him a glass of water. He hums softly the whole time they’re separated.
They go up to Puck’s room and Finn curls up in his bed. He looks pitiful.
“Can I call Kurt?”
Kurt’s at the mall with Mercedes. When they’re done shopping, they’re going to her house to watch terrible DVDs and eat ice cream and paint each other’s nails. To her, it’s just one of their usual sleepovers.
Kurt didn’t want to be in the house when Finn talked Carole. They talked about it a lot, between the three of them, about whether they should tell their parents and how the hell they could tell their parents.
Finn shakes his head. Kurt can stay distracted.
They all knew Carole might react badly. It’s understandable. They’re asking her to accept a lot; that Finn likes boys, that Finn is dating not just one boy but two, that one of those boys is his step-brother and the other is his best friend, that he is in a relationship with two other people.
They don't know how to do this, how to talk about this and tell people about them. They don't know the right terminology. They don't know the words for what they are, what they mean. There are no simple explanations; it’s not girlfriend and boyfriend, or even boyfriend and boyfriend. It’s messier. There are more of them. They’re not a threesome; that has the wrong connotations, sounds like sex and experimentation and one of those things you have to try once. This isn’t a phase they’re going through.
“What happened?”
Finn shrugs, blinks hard against the prickle of tears.
“Come on, Finn. Tell me. What happened?”
“She didn’t look at me. Didn’t say anything. She smashed a plate and started crying. And I ran.”
Puck sighs. “Give her a chance. Just wait.”
They don't talk anymore after that. Finn cries a bit, with his back to Puck, and Puck holds his hand and pretends not to notice.
She calls his mobile three times in ten minutes. Finn can’t pick up, too scared of what she might say.
By the fifth time Finn’s phone rings, Puck answers, switches the phone to speaker. “Hello Mrs Hudson.”
“Oh, Noah. Is Finn there?”
“He’s here. He can hear you.” He doesn’t add that Finn’s too frightened to talk.
“Oh, okay. I...Finn, honey, I love you. I love you. You’re my son and I will always love you.”
Finn exhales audibly, squeezes Puck’s hand tightly.
“You just... It’s a lot to take in, sweetheart. I need some time to...think about it. I don't love you any less, Finn. Come home whenever you’re ready, all right?”
“He will.”
“Thank you Noah.”
“No, thank you, Mrs Hudson. You’re really amazing. I know it’s...weird and a lot to deal with. I’m really sorry about everything.”
Carole makes a strange choked sound. “No, no, don’t. Don't apologise.” She’s quiet for a long moment. They listen to her breathe. “Are you happy? Is he happy with you...both?”
“We’re happy.” So happy that he’s terrified sometimes.
“Good. That’s...good. I’m sorry, I... Just please come home when you’re ready, Finn. I love you.”
It’s not just telling his mom he’s seeing someone.
“Is she a nice girl from glee club?”
Finn gulps, braces himself. “Uh, not... not a girl, mom.”
She’s at the sink, washing up with her back to him. She keeps scrubbing the plate she’s holding, doesn’t look away from the soapy water. “Okay, Finn. A nice boy from glee club?”
“Yes. Yes, he’s... Mom. It’s not just... There are two of them.”
He doesn’t know how he’s expecting her to react, but he never imagined this stillness, watching the tension creeping up her back and into her shoulders until she’s stiff, frozen.
He wants that to be the end of it, except it can’t be. “Mom, I... I’m dating Kurt and Puck.”
He’s dating his almost step-brother and his best friend. Carole sees Kurt as part of her family now, another son. When they were growing up, Puck came over all the time and he was practically a member of their family too. They called each other bro.
The plate smashes. Carole sobs. From somewhere in the house, Finn can hear Burt calling to check everything’s okay. It’s not, it’s so obviously not, and neither of them say anything so Burt’s going to come into the kitchen and Finn can’t be here when he does. He runs.
He doesn’t know where he’s going until he ends up at Puck’s. He can’t catch his breath and he feels sick and he’s freaking the fuck out, pounding on the door like he needs sanctuary.
Puck opens the door, but instead of inviting Finn inside, he steps out to join him, leaving the door open behind him. He grabs Finn’s hand and walks with him, pacing. Moving helps. Finn’s still shaking from adrenaline, but at least he can breathe properly again.
“Wanna come in?” Puck asks.
Finn nods jerkily.
Puck leads the way to the kitchen. Finn stops in the doorway, can’t force himself to go in. He knows it’s a different house, a different kitchen, that there’s nothing the same about it at all. Puck lets go of his hand to get him a glass of water. He hums softly the whole time they’re separated.
They go up to Puck’s room and Finn curls up in his bed. He looks pitiful.
“Can I call Kurt?”
Kurt’s at the mall with Mercedes. When they’re done shopping, they’re going to her house to watch terrible DVDs and eat ice cream and paint each other’s nails. To her, it’s just one of their usual sleepovers.
Kurt didn’t want to be in the house when Finn talked Carole. They talked about it a lot, between the three of them, about whether they should tell their parents and how the hell they could tell their parents.
Finn shakes his head. Kurt can stay distracted.
They all knew Carole might react badly. It’s understandable. They’re asking her to accept a lot; that Finn likes boys, that Finn is dating not just one boy but two, that one of those boys is his step-brother and the other is his best friend, that he is in a relationship with two other people.
They don't know how to do this, how to talk about this and tell people about them. They don't know the right terminology. They don't know the words for what they are, what they mean. There are no simple explanations; it’s not girlfriend and boyfriend, or even boyfriend and boyfriend. It’s messier. There are more of them. They’re not a threesome; that has the wrong connotations, sounds like sex and experimentation and one of those things you have to try once. This isn’t a phase they’re going through.
“What happened?”
Finn shrugs, blinks hard against the prickle of tears.
“Come on, Finn. Tell me. What happened?”
“She didn’t look at me. Didn’t say anything. She smashed a plate and started crying. And I ran.”
Puck sighs. “Give her a chance. Just wait.”
They don't talk anymore after that. Finn cries a bit, with his back to Puck, and Puck holds his hand and pretends not to notice.
She calls his mobile three times in ten minutes. Finn can’t pick up, too scared of what she might say.
By the fifth time Finn’s phone rings, Puck answers, switches the phone to speaker. “Hello Mrs Hudson.”
“Oh, Noah. Is Finn there?”
“He’s here. He can hear you.” He doesn’t add that Finn’s too frightened to talk.
“Oh, okay. I...Finn, honey, I love you. I love you. You’re my son and I will always love you.”
Finn exhales audibly, squeezes Puck’s hand tightly.
“You just... It’s a lot to take in, sweetheart. I need some time to...think about it. I don't love you any less, Finn. Come home whenever you’re ready, all right?”
“He will.”
“Thank you Noah.”
“No, thank you, Mrs Hudson. You’re really amazing. I know it’s...weird and a lot to deal with. I’m really sorry about everything.”
Carole makes a strange choked sound. “No, no, don’t. Don't apologise.” She’s quiet for a long moment. They listen to her breathe. “Are you happy? Is he happy with you...both?”
“We’re happy.” So happy that he’s terrified sometimes.
“Good. That’s...good. I’m sorry, I... Just please come home when you’re ready, Finn. I love you.”