and oh, my love, oh my love (part one)
*
It turns out that the not-party is nowhere near as fucking good as Nick wanted it to be.
Rich and Liv battle for control of the music. Grace supervises and eventually convinces them to take turns, subjecting the group to alternating blasts of metal and dubstep.
Matty and Franky get high and consume disgusting quantities of food. It’s fine until Franky’s face turns an alarming grey-green colour and she bolts to the bathroom. Mini ends up staying with her, rubbing her back and helping her drink water to wash her mouth out and stroking her sweaty hair back from her face. Later, Mini tells Nick that she didn’t have a bad night, except for the smell of vomit. “Franky apologised a lot. I think she meant about being sick, and me having to look after her. I mean, I didn’t have to, obviously, except I did, because she’s Franky. I sort of pretended she was apologising for the Matty thing. I feel better now, less angry.”
Nick is smoking and watching Alo dance with Grace. He doesn’t realise he’s watching Alo so obviously until Rich grabs him and drags him upstairs to his own bedroom. Nick’s not drunk enough to feel threatened, or maybe too drunk for it.
“Were you just staring at my girlfriend?” Rich asks, shouting but not so loudly that the others will be able to hear him, though there’s no doubt they’re all listening carefully by now.
“What? No!”
“Oh, are you saying she’s ugly now?”
Nick’s eyebrows shoot up in alarm. “No, no, she’s a very pretty girl! But I wouldn’t, I mean, she’s your girlfriend. I’m not like that.”
Rich laughs mockingly. “No? You cheat on your girlfriend, but you don't stare at my girlfriend?”
“I wasn’t staring at anyone!”
“Yes, you were! If it wasn’t Grace, then... Fuck. Were you staring at Alo?”
Nick shakes his head quickly, though it’s already too late.
“Fucking hell. You like Alo. He’s not gay.”
“I’m not either.”
“But you were staring at him.”
Nick shrugs. “Yeah, I guess.”
“So, you really like him?”
Nick can feel himself starting to blush. “Yes.”
“Are you serious?”
“Uh...maybe? No. I don't know.”
Rich nods slowly, thinking. “You need to be serious. Alo... He isn’t all sunshine and puppy dogs. He’s real. You think you know him, but I’m not sure you do. He’s my best friend. You might be bigger than me and stronger than me. It won’t matter. If you fuck him up, I’ll destroy you.”
Nick’s had this speech before. Never about a guy before. He knows the right faces to pull and the right times to nod. Except then Rich shoves him and he’s surprised, stumbles back off balance.
“You can’t say maybe. You have to be really fucking sure.” Then Rich leaves Nick alone in his own bedroom.
Nick stays up there long enough that the others get concerned. Alo comes looking for him, stands in the doorway and frowns at him. “Nicholas, you all right, mate? Can I come in?”
Nick nods, hopes he won’t regret this.
“Did you and Rich have a fight?”
“Oh, no. We’re fine.”
“Yeah? You’re sure? Because Rich hugged me, and that pretty much never happens. I was sort of worried the world was ending or something.”
Nick tries a smile. He’s not sure how it looks. He feels so uncertain. “It’s fine, Alo. Maybe he’s drunk.”
Alo frowns again, then sighs. “Yeah. Yeah, maybe. You’ve been acting weird lately though. Since the not-wedding. And you still haven’t told me who’s got your knickers in a twist.”
“You remember that?”
“Of course. I was curious.” Alo grins cheekily. “Go on, you know you want to tell me. Is she fit? Big tits? Do I know her?”
“It’s not... It’s not a she,” Nick mutters.
“Oh. So, do I know him then?” Alo adjusts so easily. It makes Nick feel embarrassed and awkward.
“Why does it even fucking matter to you?” He knows he’s getting defensive, and that’s bad, because it’s suspicious.
Alo holds up his hands in a placating way. “Hey, whoa. No big deal. Keep your secrets.”
It is a big deal though. Rich has given him The Speech now and Mini knows and says he’s so obvious about it, and does it make him gay? He’s not gay. He’s not gay. He can’t be gay. The rugby boys would beat the shit out of him if they knew he was gay. But he’s not. He’s not. It’s just Alo. And it doesn’t even matter. He can just...ignore it. If he ignores it, it’ll go away and he’ll be fine.
Nick lunges forward and even as he’s doing it, there’s a split second where he doesn’t know how this action will end, whether he’ll kiss Alo or punch him in the face. He does both: steals a surprise kiss and then splits Alo’s bottom lip with his fist.
“Fuck,” Alo yells, holding a hand to his mouth. “Nick, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck?”
Nick’s mad now. He’s not gay. He’s not. It’s just Alo. Fucking Alo. If he could just... Nick wants to destroy him. He’s all rage, punching, kicking, snarling. He wraps his hands around Alo’s throat.
It takes Matty, Rich and Liv to drag Nick off of Alo. Matty hauls his brother to his bedroom, throws him onto the bed and pins him there until he stops fighting.
“What the fuck, Nick?” Matty asks him. He doesn’t sound angry, not like Alo had. He doesn’t sound scared like Alo did either.
Nick doesn’t know what to say. He cries instead.
It turns out that the not-party is nowhere near as fucking good as Nick wanted it to be.
Rich and Liv battle for control of the music. Grace supervises and eventually convinces them to take turns, subjecting the group to alternating blasts of metal and dubstep.
Matty and Franky get high and consume disgusting quantities of food. It’s fine until Franky’s face turns an alarming grey-green colour and she bolts to the bathroom. Mini ends up staying with her, rubbing her back and helping her drink water to wash her mouth out and stroking her sweaty hair back from her face. Later, Mini tells Nick that she didn’t have a bad night, except for the smell of vomit. “Franky apologised a lot. I think she meant about being sick, and me having to look after her. I mean, I didn’t have to, obviously, except I did, because she’s Franky. I sort of pretended she was apologising for the Matty thing. I feel better now, less angry.”
Nick is smoking and watching Alo dance with Grace. He doesn’t realise he’s watching Alo so obviously until Rich grabs him and drags him upstairs to his own bedroom. Nick’s not drunk enough to feel threatened, or maybe too drunk for it.
“Were you just staring at my girlfriend?” Rich asks, shouting but not so loudly that the others will be able to hear him, though there’s no doubt they’re all listening carefully by now.
“What? No!”
“Oh, are you saying she’s ugly now?”
Nick’s eyebrows shoot up in alarm. “No, no, she’s a very pretty girl! But I wouldn’t, I mean, she’s your girlfriend. I’m not like that.”
Rich laughs mockingly. “No? You cheat on your girlfriend, but you don't stare at my girlfriend?”
“I wasn’t staring at anyone!”
“Yes, you were! If it wasn’t Grace, then... Fuck. Were you staring at Alo?”
Nick shakes his head quickly, though it’s already too late.
“Fucking hell. You like Alo. He’s not gay.”
“I’m not either.”
“But you were staring at him.”
Nick shrugs. “Yeah, I guess.”
“So, you really like him?”
Nick can feel himself starting to blush. “Yes.”
“Are you serious?”
“Uh...maybe? No. I don't know.”
Rich nods slowly, thinking. “You need to be serious. Alo... He isn’t all sunshine and puppy dogs. He’s real. You think you know him, but I’m not sure you do. He’s my best friend. You might be bigger than me and stronger than me. It won’t matter. If you fuck him up, I’ll destroy you.”
Nick’s had this speech before. Never about a guy before. He knows the right faces to pull and the right times to nod. Except then Rich shoves him and he’s surprised, stumbles back off balance.
“You can’t say maybe. You have to be really fucking sure.” Then Rich leaves Nick alone in his own bedroom.
Nick stays up there long enough that the others get concerned. Alo comes looking for him, stands in the doorway and frowns at him. “Nicholas, you all right, mate? Can I come in?”
Nick nods, hopes he won’t regret this.
“Did you and Rich have a fight?”
“Oh, no. We’re fine.”
“Yeah? You’re sure? Because Rich hugged me, and that pretty much never happens. I was sort of worried the world was ending or something.”
Nick tries a smile. He’s not sure how it looks. He feels so uncertain. “It’s fine, Alo. Maybe he’s drunk.”
Alo frowns again, then sighs. “Yeah. Yeah, maybe. You’ve been acting weird lately though. Since the not-wedding. And you still haven’t told me who’s got your knickers in a twist.”
“You remember that?”
“Of course. I was curious.” Alo grins cheekily. “Go on, you know you want to tell me. Is she fit? Big tits? Do I know her?”
“It’s not... It’s not a she,” Nick mutters.
“Oh. So, do I know him then?” Alo adjusts so easily. It makes Nick feel embarrassed and awkward.
“Why does it even fucking matter to you?” He knows he’s getting defensive, and that’s bad, because it’s suspicious.
Alo holds up his hands in a placating way. “Hey, whoa. No big deal. Keep your secrets.”
It is a big deal though. Rich has given him The Speech now and Mini knows and says he’s so obvious about it, and does it make him gay? He’s not gay. He’s not gay. He can’t be gay. The rugby boys would beat the shit out of him if they knew he was gay. But he’s not. He’s not. It’s just Alo. And it doesn’t even matter. He can just...ignore it. If he ignores it, it’ll go away and he’ll be fine.
Nick lunges forward and even as he’s doing it, there’s a split second where he doesn’t know how this action will end, whether he’ll kiss Alo or punch him in the face. He does both: steals a surprise kiss and then splits Alo’s bottom lip with his fist.
“Fuck,” Alo yells, holding a hand to his mouth. “Nick, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck?”
Nick’s mad now. He’s not gay. He’s not. It’s just Alo. Fucking Alo. If he could just... Nick wants to destroy him. He’s all rage, punching, kicking, snarling. He wraps his hands around Alo’s throat.
It takes Matty, Rich and Liv to drag Nick off of Alo. Matty hauls his brother to his bedroom, throws him onto the bed and pins him there until he stops fighting.
“What the fuck, Nick?” Matty asks him. He doesn’t sound angry, not like Alo had. He doesn’t sound scared like Alo did either.
Nick doesn’t know what to say. He cries instead.