home is whenever I'm with you (mpreg)
ice_whisper
Here is some angsty mpreg. There may be more to follow. There may not.
I'm sorry it took me so long.
<3
The first sign that something’s not quite right is that Puck doesn’t want to have sex. Kurt’s at the mall with Mercedes when it happens, but he’s shocked when Finn tells him later.
Puck’s hanging out with Finn. Finn’s got his music playing and they’re on the couch and he shifts closer, kisses Puck, starts tender, slides one hand up to cup the back of Puck’s head and he’s just started getting into it when Puck pulls away. He pats Finn on the chest, a wordless apology, then he leaves.
“I don't get it. We had the house to ourselves. Puck turned down sex. Puck turned down sex.” Finn feels like he can’t quite express the truly shocking nature of this experience.
“Well. I don't really know what to say, Finn...”
“Do you think it’s me? Does he not think I’m hot? I mean, I could probably do with losing a few pounds, maybe, or working out a bit more, but...”
“Hey,” Kurt interrupts, reaching out to squeeze Finn’s hand. Both of his boys have such low self-esteem. It’s terrible. He’s trying to help them and Finn had been seeming a little more comfortable with his body lately, until this. “No, Finn. You’re hot. You are. Okay?”
Finn nods, reluctantly, still looking a little glum.
Kurt climbs into his lap and wraps his arms around him. “Trust me, Finn, you are. Puck thinks so too; we both know you’re hot. It’s not that. Whatever Puck’s problem is, it’s not that. Did he say anything before he left?”
“Nope. Just stopped kissing me and walked out. Do you think something’s wrong?”
“I’d assume something must be wrong for Puck to turn down sex. How about we leave it for tonight and call him tomorrow? Maybe he just wasn’t in the mood today. He might feel better tomorrow.”
Finn looks more than a little doubtful. “Puck’s always in the mood.”
“I’ll text him. He might want to be alone today.”
Puck texts back that he’s fine and he’ll see them tomorrow, so they agree to leave it at that.
Puck comes over after dinner the next evening. He looks tired, but insists that he’s fine. Burt and Carole go out for dessert, and the boys decide to seize the opportunity to talk to Puck.
Except Puck decides he doesn’t want to talk. He and Finn have Kurt shirtless and they’re working on getting rid of his skinny jeans too when Kurt’s brain catches up. Part of him kind of doesn’t mind, but the more reasonable responsible part of him puts a stop to it. “Hey, don't use sex to avoid your issues.”
Puck frowns. “What issues?”
“You didn’t wanna make out with me yesterday. You never say no.”
Kurt sighs at Finn’s unfortunate phrasing. “What Finn means is that it’s not like you, and we were wondering if everything’s okay.”
Puck nods slowly. “Yeah, yeah, sure I just... I haven’t been feeling that great and I didn’t wanna, like, if I’m all germy and shit, I don't wanna...you know, I don't want you guys to get sick too.”
Finn looks at him with sad puppy eyes. “You could’ve said something, dude. I thought it was me.”
“No, man, I’m sorry. I just didn’t feel very well, like I said.”
Finn is still watching him, but his eyes are a little less intensely sad. “It must be serious if it was enough to stop you from wanting sex.”
Puck shrugs. “Not really. I don't think it’s a big deal. I’m just kinda...insanely tired. And um...it’s gonna sound really weird, but...my nipples feel weird. I thought maybe the piercing was infected or something. It looks fine though. I dunno.”
Kurt’s concern inches up. “What kind of weird do you mean?”
“You know, just...weird. Like...tingling, maybe?”
“That...doesn’t sound normal.”
Puck shrugs again. “It’s fine. It’s stopped now anyway. Mostly I’m just tired.”
They don't think about it again. Or at least, they don't think about until Kurt’s pouring coffee one morning and Puck goes that awful grey shade of pale and bolts to the bathroom to throw up. And it happens again the day after that. And the day after that.
All Kurt and Finn can think of is Quinn, the same way she bolted out of rehearsals, when she was...pregnant.
They don't say anything. They don't try to talk about it. Puck’s insisting he’s fine, even though he vomits every morning, but he says maybe he’s suddenly become allergic to coffee or something. Except last night, Puck wasn’t in bed with them; he spent the night in the bathroom and they all pretended that was normal. Finn and Kurt pretended they couldn’t hear him, because Kurt tried to check on him and Puck swore at him and wouldn’t let him in. Kurt got a glimpse of bloodshot eyes, of Puck huddled in on himself looking cold and miserable.
Kurt tips his morning coffee away and opens a window to get rid of the smell that apparently set Puck off. It’s a Saturday; both Kurt’s dad and Finn’s mom are at work already. Kurt and Finn stand in silence, lost in their own thoughts, until they hear the toilet flush. Puck doesn’t emerge from the bathroom. Concerned, Kurt decides to check on him. He leaves Finn slumped at the kitchen table, almost as if he’s in shock. He’s muttered “Shit” more than once. Kurt tries to hope that’s normal too.
Kurt knocks on the bathroom door gently. “Puck, it’s me. Can I come in?”
“No,” Puck mumbles. “Go away.”
“Puck, it’s okay,” Kurt starts to say, but Puck practically snarls from the other side of the door.
“It’s not! It’s not okay! I can’t do it again.” There’s a choked sound. It takes Kurt a moment to realise Puck’s crying, sobbing even.
“Puck, it’s different this time. Let me in.”
“No!” Puck roars. “Go away!”
Kurt runs to get Finn. “He’s locked himself in the bathroom. I can hear him crying and I don't know what to do, Finn.”
Finn considers this for a moment. “How pissed will your dad be if I kick the door down?”
“Um, less pissed about the door than about being a grandfather.”
Finn tries to laugh, but it’s too shaky, more like a sob. “Shit, this is... This is really happening. Again.”
“Yes. And I can tell you’re freaking out, but for now I need you to put that aside, because we need to make sure Puck’s okay.”
Finn takes a deep breath as if to steady himself. “Okay.” They march back to the bathroom door. “Puck, it’s me. I’m gonna kick the door down if you don't open it. I’m not kidding, dude. Count of three, okay?”
“Go away,” Puck shouts, voice more hoarse than it was before.
“One. Two. Puck, I’m not kidding. At least move out of the way, all right?”
“Finn, don't. Just...I can’t, okay? I really... I can’t. Please.”
Finn glances at Kurt, uncertain. Kurt reaches out and takes his hand, squeezes firmly. “Puck, we’re here and we’ll wait for you. You can come out when you’re ready. Just let us know you’re okay.” Kurt can feel Finn’s pulse racing in his wrist. His own heart is pounding so loudly he can hardly hear himself talk.
“I can’t do it again. I can’t want this so much and have it taken away again. I can’t do that.”
Finn leans closer to the door. “I know, man. I know how rough it was when I thought I was gonna be a dad and then... It’s not like Beth, I know, but...”
“This is different, Puck. This is your decision, your child. You’re in a happy, committed, stable relationship this time. Everything is different this time, Puck.”
“No. I’m still the same fuck up. I can’t be a dad. I’m...I fuck up, I can’t.”
“You’ve got us, Puck. We’re here, like Kurt said. We’re right here, man, and we’re not going anywhere. You just need to trust that.”
There’s a long pause. When Puck speaks, he’s quiet and painfully vulnerable. “This doesn’t...change anything?”
“No. We love you. We’re not going anywhere,” Kurt promises. “Please open the door, Puck.”
He does, and they pull him into a hug that’s too many flailing arms but it’s warm and they feel safe again. They spend the day snuggled on the couch watching Kurt’s Disney movies. Puck doesn’t complain once.
Burt comes home first and Kurt goes upstairs to talk to him. Finn stays with Puck, who clings to his hand so tightly his knuckles go white and his nails dig half moons in Finn’s skin. They’re both very quiet, listening intently to what’s going on upstairs, but they can’t hear enough to make sense of it. Puck starts shaking when they hear the knock on the door, then Kurt’s saying “Dad, let me go down first, please” and Burt says “Okay, I’ll wait”.
Finn’s stroking Puck’s mohawk with his spare hand, trying to soothe him. Puck looks awful, like he wants to bolt except he can’t bear to move away from Finn.
“I told my dad,” Kurt starts. “He’s not exactly pleased, but... It’s okay, Puck. He just wants to talk to you, about seeing a doctor and to make sure you’re okay. You are okay, Puck.” He moves closer, puts his hand on Puck’s shoulder. “Puck, look at me.”
Puck’s eyes are wide and wild, panicked.
“Take a nice, deep breath for me. Can you do that?”
Puck gulps at air.
“Hey, hey, steady. My dad’s not mad at you. No one’s mad at you. We just want to make sure you’re okay. Can I go get my dad now? I promise he doesn’t want to shout at you.”
Puck nods jerkily. Finn stops stroking his strip of hair and starts rubbing his back instead. He can feel how tense Puck is, like he’s ready to spring or snap. It’s not good. “Relax, man. Settle down,” he murmurs, just as Burt Hummel walks in.
“So, we think you’re pregnant, huh kid?”
Puck nods again.
Burt watches him for a moment. “How about we go to the doctor’s tomorrow? Just to make sure you’re okay.”
“Can Finn and Kurt come too?”
To Burt’s credit, as Most Awesome Father Ever, he doesn’t even hesitate. “Yes, they can come too.”
Here is some angsty mpreg. There may be more to follow. There may not.
I'm sorry it took me so long.
<3
The first sign that something’s not quite right is that Puck doesn’t want to have sex. Kurt’s at the mall with Mercedes when it happens, but he’s shocked when Finn tells him later.
Puck’s hanging out with Finn. Finn’s got his music playing and they’re on the couch and he shifts closer, kisses Puck, starts tender, slides one hand up to cup the back of Puck’s head and he’s just started getting into it when Puck pulls away. He pats Finn on the chest, a wordless apology, then he leaves.
“I don't get it. We had the house to ourselves. Puck turned down sex. Puck turned down sex.” Finn feels like he can’t quite express the truly shocking nature of this experience.
“Well. I don't really know what to say, Finn...”
“Do you think it’s me? Does he not think I’m hot? I mean, I could probably do with losing a few pounds, maybe, or working out a bit more, but...”
“Hey,” Kurt interrupts, reaching out to squeeze Finn’s hand. Both of his boys have such low self-esteem. It’s terrible. He’s trying to help them and Finn had been seeming a little more comfortable with his body lately, until this. “No, Finn. You’re hot. You are. Okay?”
Finn nods, reluctantly, still looking a little glum.
Kurt climbs into his lap and wraps his arms around him. “Trust me, Finn, you are. Puck thinks so too; we both know you’re hot. It’s not that. Whatever Puck’s problem is, it’s not that. Did he say anything before he left?”
“Nope. Just stopped kissing me and walked out. Do you think something’s wrong?”
“I’d assume something must be wrong for Puck to turn down sex. How about we leave it for tonight and call him tomorrow? Maybe he just wasn’t in the mood today. He might feel better tomorrow.”
Finn looks more than a little doubtful. “Puck’s always in the mood.”
“I’ll text him. He might want to be alone today.”
Puck texts back that he’s fine and he’ll see them tomorrow, so they agree to leave it at that.
Puck comes over after dinner the next evening. He looks tired, but insists that he’s fine. Burt and Carole go out for dessert, and the boys decide to seize the opportunity to talk to Puck.
Except Puck decides he doesn’t want to talk. He and Finn have Kurt shirtless and they’re working on getting rid of his skinny jeans too when Kurt’s brain catches up. Part of him kind of doesn’t mind, but the more reasonable responsible part of him puts a stop to it. “Hey, don't use sex to avoid your issues.”
Puck frowns. “What issues?”
“You didn’t wanna make out with me yesterday. You never say no.”
Kurt sighs at Finn’s unfortunate phrasing. “What Finn means is that it’s not like you, and we were wondering if everything’s okay.”
Puck nods slowly. “Yeah, yeah, sure I just... I haven’t been feeling that great and I didn’t wanna, like, if I’m all germy and shit, I don't wanna...you know, I don't want you guys to get sick too.”
Finn looks at him with sad puppy eyes. “You could’ve said something, dude. I thought it was me.”
“No, man, I’m sorry. I just didn’t feel very well, like I said.”
Finn is still watching him, but his eyes are a little less intensely sad. “It must be serious if it was enough to stop you from wanting sex.”
Puck shrugs. “Not really. I don't think it’s a big deal. I’m just kinda...insanely tired. And um...it’s gonna sound really weird, but...my nipples feel weird. I thought maybe the piercing was infected or something. It looks fine though. I dunno.”
Kurt’s concern inches up. “What kind of weird do you mean?”
“You know, just...weird. Like...tingling, maybe?”
“That...doesn’t sound normal.”
Puck shrugs again. “It’s fine. It’s stopped now anyway. Mostly I’m just tired.”
They don't think about it again. Or at least, they don't think about until Kurt’s pouring coffee one morning and Puck goes that awful grey shade of pale and bolts to the bathroom to throw up. And it happens again the day after that. And the day after that.
All Kurt and Finn can think of is Quinn, the same way she bolted out of rehearsals, when she was...pregnant.
They don't say anything. They don't try to talk about it. Puck’s insisting he’s fine, even though he vomits every morning, but he says maybe he’s suddenly become allergic to coffee or something. Except last night, Puck wasn’t in bed with them; he spent the night in the bathroom and they all pretended that was normal. Finn and Kurt pretended they couldn’t hear him, because Kurt tried to check on him and Puck swore at him and wouldn’t let him in. Kurt got a glimpse of bloodshot eyes, of Puck huddled in on himself looking cold and miserable.
Kurt tips his morning coffee away and opens a window to get rid of the smell that apparently set Puck off. It’s a Saturday; both Kurt’s dad and Finn’s mom are at work already. Kurt and Finn stand in silence, lost in their own thoughts, until they hear the toilet flush. Puck doesn’t emerge from the bathroom. Concerned, Kurt decides to check on him. He leaves Finn slumped at the kitchen table, almost as if he’s in shock. He’s muttered “Shit” more than once. Kurt tries to hope that’s normal too.
Kurt knocks on the bathroom door gently. “Puck, it’s me. Can I come in?”
“No,” Puck mumbles. “Go away.”
“Puck, it’s okay,” Kurt starts to say, but Puck practically snarls from the other side of the door.
“It’s not! It’s not okay! I can’t do it again.” There’s a choked sound. It takes Kurt a moment to realise Puck’s crying, sobbing even.
“Puck, it’s different this time. Let me in.”
“No!” Puck roars. “Go away!”
Kurt runs to get Finn. “He’s locked himself in the bathroom. I can hear him crying and I don't know what to do, Finn.”
Finn considers this for a moment. “How pissed will your dad be if I kick the door down?”
“Um, less pissed about the door than about being a grandfather.”
Finn tries to laugh, but it’s too shaky, more like a sob. “Shit, this is... This is really happening. Again.”
“Yes. And I can tell you’re freaking out, but for now I need you to put that aside, because we need to make sure Puck’s okay.”
Finn takes a deep breath as if to steady himself. “Okay.” They march back to the bathroom door. “Puck, it’s me. I’m gonna kick the door down if you don't open it. I’m not kidding, dude. Count of three, okay?”
“Go away,” Puck shouts, voice more hoarse than it was before.
“One. Two. Puck, I’m not kidding. At least move out of the way, all right?”
“Finn, don't. Just...I can’t, okay? I really... I can’t. Please.”
Finn glances at Kurt, uncertain. Kurt reaches out and takes his hand, squeezes firmly. “Puck, we’re here and we’ll wait for you. You can come out when you’re ready. Just let us know you’re okay.” Kurt can feel Finn’s pulse racing in his wrist. His own heart is pounding so loudly he can hardly hear himself talk.
“I can’t do it again. I can’t want this so much and have it taken away again. I can’t do that.”
Finn leans closer to the door. “I know, man. I know how rough it was when I thought I was gonna be a dad and then... It’s not like Beth, I know, but...”
“This is different, Puck. This is your decision, your child. You’re in a happy, committed, stable relationship this time. Everything is different this time, Puck.”
“No. I’m still the same fuck up. I can’t be a dad. I’m...I fuck up, I can’t.”
“You’ve got us, Puck. We’re here, like Kurt said. We’re right here, man, and we’re not going anywhere. You just need to trust that.”
There’s a long pause. When Puck speaks, he’s quiet and painfully vulnerable. “This doesn’t...change anything?”
“No. We love you. We’re not going anywhere,” Kurt promises. “Please open the door, Puck.”
He does, and they pull him into a hug that’s too many flailing arms but it’s warm and they feel safe again. They spend the day snuggled on the couch watching Kurt’s Disney movies. Puck doesn’t complain once.
Burt comes home first and Kurt goes upstairs to talk to him. Finn stays with Puck, who clings to his hand so tightly his knuckles go white and his nails dig half moons in Finn’s skin. They’re both very quiet, listening intently to what’s going on upstairs, but they can’t hear enough to make sense of it. Puck starts shaking when they hear the knock on the door, then Kurt’s saying “Dad, let me go down first, please” and Burt says “Okay, I’ll wait”.
Finn’s stroking Puck’s mohawk with his spare hand, trying to soothe him. Puck looks awful, like he wants to bolt except he can’t bear to move away from Finn.
“I told my dad,” Kurt starts. “He’s not exactly pleased, but... It’s okay, Puck. He just wants to talk to you, about seeing a doctor and to make sure you’re okay. You are okay, Puck.” He moves closer, puts his hand on Puck’s shoulder. “Puck, look at me.”
Puck’s eyes are wide and wild, panicked.
“Take a nice, deep breath for me. Can you do that?”
Puck gulps at air.
“Hey, hey, steady. My dad’s not mad at you. No one’s mad at you. We just want to make sure you’re okay. Can I go get my dad now? I promise he doesn’t want to shout at you.”
Puck nods jerkily. Finn stops stroking his strip of hair and starts rubbing his back instead. He can feel how tense Puck is, like he’s ready to spring or snap. It’s not good. “Relax, man. Settle down,” he murmurs, just as Burt Hummel walks in.
“So, we think you’re pregnant, huh kid?”
Puck nods again.
Burt watches him for a moment. “How about we go to the doctor’s tomorrow? Just to make sure you’re okay.”
“Can Finn and Kurt come too?”
To Burt’s credit, as Most Awesome Father Ever, he doesn’t even hesitate. “Yes, they can come too.”